Just Engaged and Proposals

We're engaged, how do we introduce our families??

My fiancee and I have been together for over 8 1/2 years, but our families have never met... My fiancee's family is not very social, so they've always held the attitude that there is no need to meet my family unless there's a ring on my finger. After about three years together my mother tried to force a meeting, and it was not appreciated by my fiancee's family. Due to this disagreement and timing, both sides of our family have pre-conceived (and not all positive) notions about each other. I get along great with my fiancee's family, and he gets along great with mine, but due to that prior issue we are both at a loss as to how to introduce them and not have it be too awkward or formal... We both thought maybe at our engagement party would be best because there would be other people there, but at this point no one has offered to throw us one, and from what I've read it's tacky to throw your own... My fiancee and I both just know it would be incredibly uncomfortable for everyone if we just had a private dinner where there would be forced conversation and awkwardness. Any ideas are much appreciated!!!

Re: We're engaged, how do we introduce our families??

  • Here's my question - do they have to meet? I understand wanting to have your families know each other and get along, but it doesn't sound like either side is too enthusiastic about it. 

    What about they just meet right before your wedding - at the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner? Quick introductions and then a flurry of wedding activity; no forced conversation necessary. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree with PDKH. Just because you and your FI are getting married doesn't mean that your families have to meet or get along or even interact with one another.

  • I'm more worried about my fiancee's mother and sister. I really want them both at my wedding shower in a few months, and I just don't know how comfortable they will be showing up at my shower with all my female relatives and girlfriends without ever having met anyone...  
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    My brother and SIL ended up just having a small BBQ in the spring/summer so the families could meet - super informal.  If your families like sports - what about hosting a Super Bowl party?

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Now that you are engaged, do the families actually want to meet or do they still not care?  Only set up a meeting if they want to.  Would it be horribly complicated to just invite everybody over for dinner at your place?  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Our families met at our engagement party. It was very informal and there were other friends of ours and the families there so it wasn't too awkward for them. The rehearsal dinner is also a good idea because everyone will be focused on wedding activities, it just depends on how soon you think they should meet. If it's not necessary or will be too complicated, then I wouldn't even bother having them meet before the wedding. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Our families met at our rehearsal dinner. I said, "Dad, meet Fiance's mom, Jane."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • If you are not doing an engagement party, I wonder if it would be a good idea to introduce them at some other wedding-related thing so there will naturally be conversation around the planning and it will not feel forced. Of course if you have not discussed who is contributing what or the type of wedding this would be awful. But maybe a big group caterer tasting, or checking out a venue together and then lunch? Might be a bad idea but just throwing it out there.
  • We've been together five years and both of our families have never met. We're going to keep it that way. They will meet each other for the first time at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding. They have nothing in common with each other and its best that his mother and my mother don't spend to much time together --- they are both to judgmental. 

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