The Ceremony

akopitzke · January 2014

Hey ladies quick question! We're meeting with out officiant tomorrow to go over our ceremony details. A good friend of ours is actually marrying us - he's done weddings before so he knows what he's doing plus he knows us pretty well so we're happy to have him doing it! We have briefly talked with him before about stuff and he asked us what kind of things we want in the ceremony.. Have any of you met with your officiant yet and what kind of ceremony are you having? Since ours won't be our pastor and won't be the traditional kind, I'm at a loss for what to do!

Kristen625 · January 2014

We are still trying to decide who to use for an officiant but we too will be using either family or a family friend. We haven't talked to either yet about plans. I'm thinking he will maybe pray first, read a poem to start off, and maybe something about us that is personal to him, then our vows, the exchanging of the rings, then done. I don't have interest in a long ceremony where there are a lot of things like sand, candle lighting (which I think is traditionally catholic) or anything like that. FI and I are both really basic people and we want to be married then party!

bellaluna290 · January 2014

I just finished emailing our officiant. She has different "scripts" that we can use and blend together to make our own. We aren't religious, so this really appealed to us. I think that we are also going to be writing our own vows.

ArtTeacher23 · January 2014

We haven't discussed the ceremony fully yet with our officiant, we'll do that in few weeks. But we have a general idea: we are doing a sand ceremony (I made our sand holder & pourers, for lack of a better description of them lol I basically used a glass craft block, some glass etching, a magnetic photo holder & some pretty ribbon & sparkly clip) and we aren't doing an overly religious ceremony. I've pulled a few nice readings/sayings that I've found online that I hope can get incorporated into our ceremony. My absolute favorite that I hope he can read at the end of the ceremony is this: Before I pronounce you married partners, I have just one more thing I want you to do. Your wedding day is one that seems to fly. It’s a day filled with emotion, friends, rings, and dances. Many people remember how fleeting their own wedding day was. So I want you to take a few seconds to look into each other’s eyes. Think about the happiness that you’re feeling in this place, in this moment. Really let that feeling register in your heart and your mind. Now, I want you to think about your life together in twenty years. Where are you? What are you doing? We all know that your visions of the future are not identical, but always complimentary. John Lennon once said, “a dream you dream alone is only a dream, a dream you dream together, THAT is reality.” That new reality starts now.

ArtTeacher23 · January 2014

We haven't discussed the ceremony fully yet with our officiant, we'll do that in few weeks. But we have a general idea: we are doing a sand ceremony (I made our sand holder & pourers, for lack of a better description of them lol I basically used a glass craft block, some glass etching, a magnetic photo holder & some pretty ribbon & sparkly clip) and we aren't doing an overly religious ceremony. I've pulled a few nice readings/sayings that I've found online that I hope can get incorporated into our ceremony. My absolute favorite that I hope he can read at the end of the ceremony is this: Before I pronounce you married partners, I have just one more thing I want you to do. Your wedding day is one that seems to fly. It’s a day filled with emotion, friends, rings, and dances. Many people remember how fleeting their own wedding day was. So I want you to take a few seconds to look into each other’s eyes. Think about the happiness that you’re feeling in this place, in this moment. Really let that feeling register in your heart and your mind. Now, I want you to think about your life together in twenty years. Where are you? What are you doing? We all know that your visions of the future are not identical, but always complimentary. John Lennon once said, “a dream you dream alone is only a dream, a dream you dream together, THAT is reality.” That new reality starts now.

akopitzke · January 2014

@Kristen625 I'm with you on the short ceremony! I was actually kind of happy that one of our pastors isn't marrying us because they like to do a whole sermon type thing during the ceremony and I'm not okay with standing up there for 45 minutes! I'd probably pass out lol.

@ArtTeacher23 I LOVE that! I have had so many friends tell me that they barely remember their weddings but that even though it seems like a big day, its only the beginning!

I know we're doing our own vows and we want to do a fight box (the wine and love letters sealed in a box) but beyond that.. hopefully our officiant can give us some ideas!

klburke88 · January 2014

Our officiant had a great idea that we had never thought of. FI and I will be presenting both of our mothers with a single rose during the ceremony. She said that mother's oftentimes feel left out of the wedding day, especially mother of the bride, since the father gets a dance with his daughter and to walk her down the aisle.

Another neat idea we might incorporate... We might have our parents sit on the "wrong" side during the ceremony. So, my parents would be on the right and his parents on the left. That way, they have a better view of our faces during the ceremony, instead of staring at the back of our heads the whole time. Not that my parents don't want to see the person I'm marrying, but I'm their child and I'm sure they'd like to see my expression throughout the ceremony.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

@klburke88 the "wrong side seating" (so to speak) is an awesome idea that I've seen before. At my cousin's wedding they did that and it worked perfectly! Our grandma even commented that although my cousin "has a cute butt...it was nice to see her face!" I'm really loving all these ideas! My FI is coming into town for the weekend and we're meeting with our officiant (a pastor at my church) tomorrow. Idk what it will be like (get to know you? Plan the ceremony?) so fingers crossed!

akopitzke · January 2014

@klburke88 I love the rose idea! May have to steal that one. Also, definitely agree about the whole side part. I hate when you go to a wedding and you can't even see the person you came for! I plan on switching every one over to the opposite side for that reason alone!

Kristen625 · January 2014

@artteacher23 omg I love that ending!! That almost made me tear up it was so sweet!!! And I'm not a crier.

I plan on having a "Pick a seat, not a side" sign for the ceremony, but having the front rows reserved for family, and I'll have to talk to my mom about her sitting on the "wrong side". That makes a weird sort of sense.

Kristen625 · January 2014

aaaaand FI ruined that for me...."its too wordy!" grrrr

Kristen625 · January 2014

On a lighter note, we did decide on an officiant. It will be my older brother!!

I'm super stoked.

Now to just hash out the ceremony. Also, side note, finding a poem about love is not easy...or at least not one that fits me and FI

ArtTeacher23 · January 2014

@Kristen625 I know its really difficult to find a nice reading that works and its totally meaningful. I'm glad our officiant has like a book of 200+ things we can pick form but is stillopen to our ideas and things we may find. Another officiant that we had met with was also a dog person and suggested this poem that is written about love but in the style of talking about a dog, it sounds weird and needs to be read the right way but it was so cute..I don't have it on my phone, but ill make sure to post it later when I'm back on my laptop!

pumpkinsandturkeys · January 2014

We're still deciding on a ceremony reading, but we're definitely doing something short overall.

My dad's pastor is marrying us and he has asked us to select a Bible verse for him to reflect on during the ceremony for about 5 - 7 minutes (he gave us some suggestions). He also gave us a really pretty reading that he did once for a handfasting ceremony that reads almost like a poem -- it talks about these being the hands of your best friend, the hands that will work alongside yours, passionately love you, hold you, give you strength, etc. I don't think we'll do an actual handfasting, but we definitely love the idea of holding hands while he reads that, before we exchange vows and rings.

ArtTeacher23 · January 2014

@Kristen625 Here's the dog love poem I mentioned: Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali First of all, it’s a big responsibility, especially in a city like New York. So think long and hard before deciding on love. On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security: when you’re walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love ain’t no one going to mess with you. Love doesn’t like being left alone for long. But come home and love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long. Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love. Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk. It runs you around the block and leaves you panting. It pulls you in several different directions at once, or winds around and around you until you’re all wound up and can’t move. But love makes you meet people wherever you go. People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street. Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops.

ArtTeacher23 · January 2014

@Kristen625 Here's the dog love poem I mentioned: Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali First of all, it’s a big responsibility, especially in a city like New York. So think long and hard before deciding on love. On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security: when you’re walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love ain’t no one going to mess with you. Love doesn’t like being left alone for long. But come home and love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long. Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love. Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk. It runs you around the block and leaves you panting. It pulls you in several different directions at once, or winds around and around you until you’re all wound up and can’t move. But love makes you meet people wherever you go. People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street. Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Kristen625 · January 2014

@artteacher23 that is so cute!!

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