How to avoid becoming a cash bar wedding

mazilora · January 2014

The venue my reception is in has a traditional, fully stocked bar. They are requiring us to pay based on consumption (and will not do flat fee/guest) and so we're doing beer, wine, and 2 signature drinks.

1. Dilemma #1--what to do about the "other" drinks the bar serves? It's not like the bar will hide its bottles of scotch, so how do I avoid my guests inadvertently paying for their own drinks? Is it better etiquette to allow the bar to serve them at a cash price, or to tell guests they're not available?

2. Dilemma #2--with the consumption pricing, my (paying) parents want to set a limit at which point the bar switches to cash (I know this is against etiquette). Problem is, my friends are heavy drinkers, and my parents started their estimates by assuming 4 drinks/guest over the 6 hours. I'm almost positive my friends will drink more than that, though perhaps the more "adult" guests will offset it. Any advice in handling consumption pricing?

SlothGoals · January 2014

#1: I would put a sign at the bar stating what is being hosted. You really can't stop people from purchasing other drinks if the option is there.

#2: can you and your FI just cover the difference? You know how much your parents are willing to pay, so just tell them that you two will cover whatever goes over that.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

kristbot said:

#1: I would put a sign at the bar stating what is being hosted. You really can't stop people from purchasing other drinks if the option is there.

#2: can you and your FI just cover the difference? You know how much your parents are willing to pay, so just tell them that you two will cover whatever goes over that.

Ditto all of this.

I've also heard on here the suggestion to get a nice tablecloth or curtain to cover the bottles of liquor that will not be served. Not sure about how I personally feel on how that would look, but it's an option. At the least, make a nice sign for what is available. And don't let the bartenders serve anybody for cash, period.

monkeysip · January 2014

We had a consumption bar, and we told our venue coordinator our desired limit for the bar so that she could tell us when we were getting close to it.

Now, fortunately, our guests actually drank less than we thought, but if the coordinator had come up to us to tell us we were near our limit, then we had the option to either A) up the limit or

close the bar.

If it had been early in the reception, of course, we would not have closed the bar. But if it had been near the end, we might have just closed it.

I don't know if this is an option for you at all. But I wouldn't let it switch to a cash bar. Just budget the rest of the money yourselves.

And like pp said, just put a sign explaining what is hosted.

APDSS22 · January 2014

I would try asking about posting a cutesy chalkboard or something at the bar that says what drinks are hosted. I normally wouldn't advise that but it will definitely cut down on confusion.

I also wouldn't assume adults who are even moderate social drinkers would drink less than 1 drink per hour because most people who drink socially will probably consume more and it would certainly be better for your guests. Did the venue say if they refund for unopened bottles that they could use for another event but were already paid for? Could you (or your parents) take home any extra that don't get emptied? That might give them more incentive to pay a little more since that money won't be wasted.

mazilora · January 2014

Great advice, thanks all! Feeling much better about this :-)

Stupidly I hadn't thought about arranging a side contract where we pick up the rest of the tab. That definitely makes the most sense.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

It's never wrong to tell people what you're hosting. It's only ever wrong to make them guess what's free and what they'd have to pay for. Printed signs telling them what's being hosted is perfectly fine.

Jen4948 · January 2014

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I would try asking about posting a cutesy chalkboard or something at the bar that says what drinks are hosted. I normally wouldn't advise that but it will definitely cut down on confusion. I also wouldn't assume adults who are even moderate social drinkers would drink less than 1 drink per hour because most people who drink socially will probably consume more and it would certainly be better for your guests. Did the venue say if they refund for unopened bottles that they could use for another event but were already paid for? Could you (or your parents) take home any extra that don't get emptied? That might give them more incentive to pay a little more since that money won't be wasted.

I like the chalkboard idea, but it's been my experience that posting anything "cutesy" either goes over the heads of people it's aimed at or rubs them the wrong way. In any case, I think a straightforward message will get this across better than anything "cutesy."

jenlcady03 · January 2014

I've worked at many weddings where there is a host/cash bar. In many (if not all instances) we've designated what was hosted, and then the guests were still able to purchase other drinks if they did not want any of the hosted beverages. Once the hosted beverages were gone, we switched to a cash bar.

You can also have a hosted bar during a set period of time (social hour) and then switch to cash.

Talk to your vendor. Great opportunity for cutesy DIY signs!

Jen4948 · January 2014

jenlcady03 said:

I've worked at many weddings where there is a host/cash bar. In many (if not all instances) we've designated what was hosted, and then the guests were still able to purchase other drinks if they did not want any of the hosted beverages. Once the hosted beverages were gone, we switched to a cash bar.

You can also have a hosted bar during a set period of time (social hour) and then switch to cash.

Talk to your vendor. Great opportunity for cutesy DIY signs!

No, you cannot politely have a cash bar for any part of an event you are supposed to be hosting. That means no "switching to cash bars."

APDSS22 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I would try asking about posting a cutesy chalkboard or something at the bar that says what drinks are hosted. I normally wouldn't advise that but it will definitely cut down on confusion. I also wouldn't assume adults who are even moderate social drinkers would drink less than 1 drink per hour because most people who drink socially will probably consume more and it would certainly be better for your guests. Did the venue say if they refund for unopened bottles that they could use for another event but were already paid for? Could you (or your parents) take home any extra that don't get emptied? That might give them more incentive to pay a little more since that money won't be wasted.

I like the chalkboard idea, but it's been my experience that posting anything "cutesy" either goes over the heads of people it's aimed at or rubs them the wrong way. In any case, I think a straightforward message will get this across better than anything "cutesy."

Maybe cutesy was the wrong word, though I stand by the sentiment. I meant something decorated, definitely not just a printed piece of paper that will blend into the bar. Something that guests will notice and immediately think "I should read this, might be important/wedding related". I'm not implying that the OP should write out obscure verse in medieval English with illuminated script letters or something like that, that would be a Bad Idea.

Jen4948 · January 2014

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Jen4948 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I would try asking about posting a cutesy chalkboard or something at the bar that says what drinks are hosted. I normally wouldn't advise that but it will definitely cut down on confusion. I also wouldn't assume adults who are even moderate social drinkers would drink less than 1 drink per hour because most people who drink socially will probably consume more and it would certainly be better for your guests. Did the venue say if they refund for unopened bottles that they could use for another event but were already paid for? Could you (or your parents) take home any extra that don't get emptied? That might give them more incentive to pay a little more since that money won't be wasted.

I like the chalkboard idea, but it's been my experience that posting anything "cutesy" either goes over the heads of people it's aimed at or rubs them the wrong way. In any case, I think a straightforward message will get this across better than anything "cutesy."

Maybe cutesy was the wrong word, though I stand by the sentiment. I meant something decorated, definitely not just a printed piece of paper that will blend into the bar. Something that guests will notice and immediately think "I should read this, might be important/wedding related". I'm not implying that the OP should write out obscure verse in medieval English with illuminated script letters or something like that, that would be a Bad Idea.

Okay, that makes more sense. Wanting it to stand out is one thing, but it should be for the right reason.

lovesclimbing · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Jen4948 said:

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I would try asking about posting a cutesy chalkboard or something at the bar that says what drinks are hosted. I normally wouldn't advise that but it will definitely cut down on confusion. I also wouldn't assume adults who are even moderate social drinkers would drink less than 1 drink per hour because most people who drink socially will probably consume more and it would certainly be better for your guests. Did the venue say if they refund for unopened bottles that they could use for another event but were already paid for? Could you (or your parents) take home any extra that don't get emptied? That might give them more incentive to pay a little more since that money won't be wasted.

I like the chalkboard idea, but it's been my experience that posting anything "cutesy" either goes over the heads of people it's aimed at or rubs them the wrong way. In any case, I think a straightforward message will get this across better than anything "cutesy."

Maybe cutesy was the wrong word, though I stand by the sentiment. I meant something decorated, definitely not just a printed piece of paper that will blend into the bar. Something that guests will notice and immediately think "I should read this, might be important/wedding related". I'm not implying that the OP should write out obscure verse in medieval English with illuminated script letters or something like that, that would be a Bad Idea.

Okay, that makes more sense. Wanting it to stand out is one thing, but it should be for the right reason.

This. Decorate it, sure. But as for the actual writing that guests need to read, just have a simple list with an easy-to-read font. Or write it nicely.

I hate stuff like this. vvv It's so hard to read! My eyes go up and down and all over trying to make sure I've read everything and it takes much longer to read.

MandyMost · January 2014

I plan to do something like a framed piece of paper (8x10 or so) on the bar, that's in the same theme as the rest of the wedding stationary (programs, menus, escort cards, etc.) that lists the available options. I also plan to include the information on the menus if we do them. I think we will do them, largely for this reason.

LowerEastSiiide · January 2014

You and your fiance should pick up the tab after your parents' limit has been hit

You shouldn't let guests pay, unless you want people whispering about your tacky cash bar for years to come

As for the spirits, why can't they remove them?

How to avoid becoming a cash bar wedding

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