How to avoid becoming a cash bar wedding

Re: How to avoid becoming a cash bar wedding

• hlvonb member

  

  January 2014

  @mazilora

  
  

  I would say to go with your beer, wine and 2 signature drinks. If guests want something else then they can pay for it. You're giving them plenty of options they do not have to pay for.

  Report0 Reply
• mrs4everhart member

  

  January 2014

  Those that live and die by strict etiquette will tell you to make sure your venue turns down any person trying to buy their preferred beverage, because it's they (the attempted buyer) that are in fact rude for rebuking your hospitality. I wish I could give you the advice you want to hear on that point. 

  
  

  On the second, I personally don't see what the problem with people paying for their drinks after the tab is closed, assuming it is open for a large percent of the event (not one of these weird, open bar for 45 minutes types of things). We did this at my first wedding. Our bar was open for about 6 hours. The reception was technically over and the tab was paid. The establishment was still open as the staff was cleaning up and the bar stayed open for those who were still partying. It really wasn't a big deal they were going to party at a bar somewhere and pay for their drinks at an after-party type deal.

  Report0 Reply
• JennyColada member

  

  January 2014

  As a prior bar manager, the bartenders will be informed of what the guests' options are and will not serve anything else.
  
  If a guest wishes to purchase it then the bartender will explain that they are not equip for that and suggest another beverage.
  
  4/guest does seem pretty high as an average. Do you really think that the average person will have more than that? Many adults don't drink or may just have 1 (so then others will have 6-8). That sounds fantastic to me.

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  January 2014

  I agree with Scribe. Put up a sign and don't switch to a cash bar at any point. I'd be pissed if I had been drinking something all night and then went back and suddenly had to pay for my drink.

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report1 Reply
• crunchymamaof2 member

  

  January 2014

  Why don't you and your FI pay for whatever portion of the bar your parents don't? Couple that with a menu of what you're offering and you're good to go. Easy.

  After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

  Report4 Reply
• YourDogDontKnowSit member

  

  January 2014

  The first issue should be handled by the bartender, "sorry that's not available tonight" and be fine. The second issue is more concerning. Its rude to do cash bar so I would err on the side of caution. I thought the general rule waa to assume at least one drink per hour per guest? Perhaps you could ask your parents not to set a limit and you will cover the overage past what they wanted to spend.

  Report2 Reply
• OliveOilsMom member

  

  January 2014

  acove2006 said:

  Why don't you and your FI pay for whatever portion of the bar your parents don't? Couple that with a menu of what you're offering and you're good to go. Easy.

  
  I was going to suggest this.  Can you pay for the alcohol after your parents' cap?  Then do it! 

  

  Report0 Reply
• JoanE2012 member

  

  January 2014

  mazilora said:

  The venue my reception is in has a traditional, fully stocked bar.  They are requiring us to pay based on consumption (and will not do flat fee/guest) and so we're doing beer, wine, and 2 signature drinks. 
  
  1. Dilemma #1--what to do about the "other" drinks the bar serves?  It's not like the bar will hide its bottles of scotch, so how do I avoid my guests inadvertently paying for their own drinks? Is it better etiquette to allow the bar to serve them at a cash price, or to tell guests they're not available?
  
  2. Dilemma #2--with the consumption pricing, my (paying) parents want to set a limit at which point the bar switches to cash (I know this is against etiquette). Problem is, my friends are heavy drinkers, and my parents started their estimates by assuming 4 drinks/guest over the 6 hours. I'm almost positive my friends will drink more than that, though perhaps the more "adult" guests will offset it. Any advice in handling consumption pricing?
  

  For issue #1 - Have a list of what's available.  The bartenders will just have to tell anyone that asks for something else that it's not available and point to the list of what you're hosting.

  
  

  For issue #2 - Please, please, please do no have a hosted bar and then switch at some point to cash bar.  If your parents will only host up to a certain dollar amount, you need to find a way in your budget to cut back or save up more to pay the rest of the bar tab.  If you cannot do this, you need to cut back on your bar offerings.

  
  

  Whatever you serve, you must serve the entire night without your guests opening up their wallet.

  Report0 Reply
• mazilora member

  

  January 2014

  Thanks all!  For some reason this double-posted (I now have two threads one this), so could someone signal a mod to delete this thread?
  
  And FWIW, we have no intention of letting this become a cash bar for any decent amount of the evening, hence the title of the post. My parents wanted a fixed amount to know how much to budget (which is a problem with consumption pricing!), but FI and I can pick up the overflow.
  

  Report2 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  acove2006 said:

  Why don't you and your FI pay for whatever portion of the bar your parents don't? Couple that with a menu of what you're offering and you're good to go. Easy.

  I like this idea.  It lets people know what's available and makes sure that no money changes hands at the bar itself.
  

  Report0 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  When I worked at an event space, we often used table clothes to cover the top shelf liquor when only house was offered, or all the liquor when it was a beer/wine event.  Can you talk to your venue about covering up items that aren't offered so that guests don't really see them?  This with a menu showing what is offered can help avoid the issue of guests wanting something off the menu.  

  Report0 Reply