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Wedding Woes
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ksurane18ksurane18 member
10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
in Wedding Woes
Why is it all I want is a big white wedding like every girl dreams about...but everyone you know comments on how its only a headache or a waste of money and can not just let me do what I want....I am now debating the idea of a courthouse just to please everyone when I know it won't make me happy :(
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Re: Opinions

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Who is paying for it? If you're paying for it, tell everyone to shut up because it's not their business (and stop talking to them about your wedding). If someone else is paying for it, you have to take their opinions into account. 

    If you want a big white wedding, why not wait a bit and save up for it? No one gets to tell you how to spend your own money.
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  • ksurane18ksurane18 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    We are paying ourselves and have a date 18 months out to save...its hurtful because several of my friends have or are going through divorce at young ages...and now feel they can make my wedding planning their personal b**ch session :(
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Don't let them rain on your parade-- if this was about a real red flag your friends see in your relationship, fine.  But if it's just about your friends bitching to you because their own marriages didn't work out, just let that stuff roll off.  You're paying and it sounds like you've chosen a long engagement to save and be responsible.  Have fun.  And if you want to chat with people who are excited about weddings-- we love weddings!  Come to TK anytime.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Stop talking to those people about your wedding.  Plan the wedding you and your FI want and when the downers ask about your wedding, politely tell them planning is going well and change the subject. 
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2014
    Stop talking to those people. Or to most people in general. I have learned here on TK that no one cares about your wedding as much as you and your FI does - and the ladies on TH :) And maybe a few randoms here or there. Honestly, I think misery loves company. You stated that a few of your friends have gone through divorces, and it sounds like they might be a tad jealous about you now having a nice wedding. I have received a few comments from people, but I just ignore them. We are paying for our wedding so it is not anyone's business whether we want to rock out with our c*ck's out  lol. Come talk to us here -  no one will rain on your parade :)

    edit: grammar
                                 Anniversary
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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    shrugg it off. i mean, logically, it IS a waste of money to plan for an 8-hour long portion of a day where you spend thousands of dollars without any promise of a return on this money. unless you go to a courthouse and spend the minimum amount to be legally wed to someone, does anyone truly think a wedding is a wise way to spend money? no. but it's a choice people make.

     

    all that said, people who are lready married will have a ton of advice. i have a hard time believing there is not one person around you who you're able to be happy about having a wedding with, but who knows. you said EVERYONE in the OP and it makes me wonder why EVERYONE around you is trying to rain on your parade.

     

    ps, i am not jealous. the answer is not always jealousy. sometimes people are jaded, or see something you don't see, or just want to point out the negativity.

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  • kittypolishnbagskittypolishnbags member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    If you're paying for it, just ignore them. I didn't really want to have a wedding, but I figured it would be nice to have family and friends around for this important moment in my life. So I'm having a small one. Just don't mention anything about it to those that you know will say those kind of things.
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I'm sorry OP, it sounds like your surrounded by a whole lotta jealousy, I'd personally be pissed if anybody told me to skip the wedding of my dreams and do the courthouse thing. I agree with PPs, plan your dream wedding and let your downer friends swim in their own misery. If my friends couldn't see past their own asses and be happy for me, I'd start to look for better friends. I'm not saying you should cut them out, but they need to see how their negativity affects you and is only bringing you down with them.
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  • CLI242009CLI242009 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Yeah stop talking to those people. Right now they are all in bad places and they'll only see the negative. Like you stated above, comments like a waste of money, just a headache with planning, etc. Don't let them rain on your parade!


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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    prettybirdy27 said:

    Don't let them get to you.  My cubemate is divorced, and the cube next to me, one person is divorced and the other was in the process of a divorce.  Leading up to my wedding, every time he would get off the phone with his lawyer or his ex-wife, he would walk over to me and start telling me how stupid it is to get married and really constantly questioned my decision.  The divorcees around him would always chime in.  It got real damn annoying and I knew they were all just harping on me because they were jaded.  So try really hard to not let them get to you. 

    Dude that would irritate me too! I'd be tempted to rebute "just cus you settled..."
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  • CLI242009CLI242009 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Amyzen83 said:
    Don't let them get to you.  My cubemate is divorced, and the cube next to me, one person is divorced and the other was in the process of a divorce.  Leading up to my wedding, every time he would get off the phone with his lawyer or his ex-wife, he would walk over to me and start telling me how stupid it is to get married and really constantly questioned my decision.  The divorcees around him would always chime in.  It got real damn annoying and I knew they were all just harping on me because they were jaded.  So try really hard to not let them get to you. 
    Dude that would irritate me too! I'd be tempted to rebute "just cus you settled..."
    HAHAHA @Amyzen83 - you and HisGirl have such snark! I love reading comments from both of you because of this xD


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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think this is human nature for some people. You know, the people that tell you all the bad things about being married, having kids or planning a wedding, even though the did all of these things themselves. 
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    CLI242009 said:


    Amyzen83 said:

    prettybirdy27 said:

    Don't let them get to you.  My cubemate is divorced, and the cube next to me, one person is divorced and the other was in the process of a divorce.  Leading up to my wedding, every time he would get off the phone with his lawyer or his ex-wife, he would walk over to me and start telling me how stupid it is to get married and really constantly questioned my decision.  The divorcees around him would always chime in.  It got real damn annoying and I knew they were all just harping on me because they were jaded.  So try really hard to not let them get to you. 

    Dude that would irritate me too! I'd be tempted to rebute "just cus you settled..."

    HAHAHA @Amyzen83 - you and HisGirl have such snark! I love reading comments from both of you because of this xD




    Lol thank you! *takes a bow* I learn from the best on these boards!
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  • kannf1982kannf1982 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    It;s funny you say that...all I want is to go away with my fiance and get married and we are getting hell for that...everyone is acting all disappointed that were not doing the big white wedding.

    However, if we were doing the big white wedding I'd probably still be in your shoes.  If you throw that idea out the window and go to the courthouse you will catch hell for that, too.

    I dont think engagements are for the couple I think its a time for family members to selfishly and arbitrarily guilt trip the engaged couple just for the sake of being opinionated debbie downers!!! As soon as I learn to ignore them and laugh off their many opinions my life will be easier.  

    Your choice to want the wedding you want is not wrong, in fact that sounds great! I always wanted a private wedding but i do love weddings and fully support peoples' desire to do that.  Enjoy it and ignore all the complainers!!!! :)
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  • ksurane18ksurane18 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Thanks everyone that commented...I had a sit down...well more like melt down with my FI and he pretty much said...forget what everyone else says...if I want a big wedding then just tell him when and where to show up because as long as I am happy he will be happy...He really is the best guy in the world...so the big wedding planning has begun!
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