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Fraud marriage better than no marriage?

jenna8984jenna8984 member
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in Chit Chat

On my drive into work the topic on the radio was call in and tell us the worst dating advice someone ever gave you. This girl called in and said "Someone who needed a green card offered me money to marry him. My mom told me not to do it, to marry for love not money. What terrible advice! I'm almost 30 now and haven't gotten any other proposals so I wish I had just taken that one. I want my grandma to see me get married before she dies."

I literally said out loud what the f-k is wrong with people?!?!?!?

                                                                 

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Re: Fraud marriage better than no marriage?

  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
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    Wow! I have no words.
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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
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    Oh man. That's actually kind of sad. I wish more women (and men too, but this seems to be more of a woman thing) could be happy by themselves. Then any relationship you get in just happens to be icing on the cake, not the end all and be all of your life.
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  • firebabe6519firebabe6519 member
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    That is so sad.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I didn't get married until I was 39.  In the meantime I had an amazing single life.    I also watched a bunch of women get married and then divorced.  I would not wish the heartache and hassle of a divorce just to say I got married before a certain age.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2014
    I'm not really against fraud marriages in general, but that's just more before the marriage aspect isn't super important to me (the relationship itself is).

    Like, I don't really see marriage as some holy grail of commitment, so I'm not bothered by people marrying for green cards. Although, I suppose the fact that I've never done it does say something.

    That being said, that lady doesn't want a fraud marriage. She wants a real marriage. Settling is never a good idea.
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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
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    I will never understand why if she wants to get married so bad (assuming she's in a relationship) she doesn't just propose to him.
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  • Fran1985 Fran1985 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Honestly before the knot I didn't realize how many people were obsessed with weddings vs. the marriage. Like all the posters saying "its my day" and obsessed about the attention they will get and its the most important day of their lives blah blah. I'm really excited to get all my friends together and really excited to say vows to my FI but it is certainly not a day I have dreamed of my whole life and I never was like pining to get married before I knew who my husband would be. And I feel like most of my friends are pretty similar and low key. Which means I am not stressed out about the wedding planning at all, which also means my wedding may be a disaster haha.

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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Fran1985 said:
    Honestly before the knot I didn't realize how many people were obsessed with weddings vs. the marriage. Like all the posters saying "its my day" and obsessed about the attention they will get and its the most important day of their lives blah blah. I'm really excited to get all my friends together and really excited to say vows to my FI but it is certainly not a day I have dreamed of my whole life and I never was like pining to get married before I knew who my husband would be. And I feel like most of my friends are pretty similar and low key. Which means I am not stressed out about the wedding planning at all, which also means my wedding may be a disaster haha.
    Same here!!! My parents got married in their front lawn and have been happily married for 35 years so I never imagined a big, fancy wedding either. I always looked up to them and thought "that's what I want!". There are going to be many best days our lives- first time we said I love you, the day he proposed, the day we climbed the Great Wall together, the day we bought the house, the day we get married, the days we have kids in the future. One wedding day isn't the pinnacle achievement of your whole life.

                                                                     

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  • csuavecsuave member
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    jenna8984 said:

    On my drive into work the topic on the radio was call in and tell us the worst dating advice someone ever gave you. This girl called in and said "Someone who needed a green card offered me money to marry him. My mom told me not to do it, to marry for love not money. What terrible advice! I'm almost 30 now and haven't gotten any other proposals so I wish I had just taken that one. I want my grandma to see me get married before she dies."

    I literally said out loud what the f-k is wrong with people?!?!?!?

    That is too much.

    This made me think of a teen evaluating her options for the prom.  "We'll maybe I'll go with you Johnny but it will take me a couple of weeks to answer fer shure so I can see if I get any other invitations."

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