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Who should be in our party?!

olleb4olleb4 member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Party

My family includes - 1 sister (MOH), 2 brothers, 2 SIL, 1 BIL, 4 neices, 2 nephews; FI has 1 sister.

I'd hate to ask my brothers and sister to be in the wedding party AND have their children purchase dresses/tuxes. I feel like that's alot to ask of them. Would it be a good idea to have just 1 MOH (sister), his BM (friend), and my neices and nephews? Then maybe ask his sister and my brothers to do a reading/gifts, etc.

Also, any cute ideas to "ask" the kids to be in the party?

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Re: Who should be in our party?!

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Have as many or as few as you want. What does your fiance want? What do you mean ask them to do "gifts'? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    AddieL73 said:
    Have as many or as few as you want. What does your fiance want? What do you mean ask them to do "gifts'? 
    She probably means present the gifts in the ceremony.  I believe it is a Catholic wedding tradition.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ahhhh, gotcha! 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ellnd4 said:

    My family includes - 1 sister (MOH), 2 brothers, 2 SIL, 1 BIL, 4 neices, 2 nephews; FI has 1 sister.

    I'd hate to ask my brothers and sister to be in the wedding party AND have their children purchase dresses/tuxes. I feel like that's alot to ask of them. Would it be a good idea to have just 1 MOH (sister), his BM (friend), and my neices and nephews? Then maybe ask his sister and my brothers to do a reading/gifts, etc.

    Also, any cute ideas to "ask" the kids to be in the party?

    Ask who you want.  They can let you know if its too much for them.  Asking your siblings to do a reading or present the gifts is a nice idea.

    Be flexible with your nephews tux, if they do become your RB. A child tux rental can cost just as much as an adults rental.  For this reason, I let my SIL purchase off amazon her sons' tuxes for my wedding.  They were $40 each and she resold them on ebay afterwards.  No one could tell that the tuxes were not from the same manufacturer as my H's tux.  Also, for the girls, after Easter sales can be a great way to purchase cheaper FG dresses.  So if you want everyone to be in your WP, there is a way to make it happen.  Just ask each person's budget privately and stick to it for them.

    I also wouldn't try to ask them in special ways. Check with their parents first to make sure its ok.  Imagine being the kid whose asked to be in a wedding, then can't be because the parents can't afford the outfit for it.

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  • olleb4olleb4 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks for the suggestion for post-easter! Great idea!
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  • olleb4olleb4 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Yes I'm sorry! She's right for a Catholic ceremony :)
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You can ask whomever you want-you are not required to have anyone at all as attendants.

    But I recommend asking everyone, including kids, in a straightforward, dignified way and not trying to be "cute" about it.  You're asking them to do you a very major favor and take time, money, and energy out of their lives for it.
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  • olleb4olleb4 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited January 2014

    The kids are more excited to be part of the wedding day than anyone because it is their first experience. I know they won't fully grasp the responsibilities, including financial, but that shouldn't be a reason to not make it special for them too, right? I guess I disagree with you on that aspect.

     

    Thanks!

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