Separate Ceremony & Reception - Invite Wording

Re: Separate Ceremony & Reception - Invite Wording

• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  I'm afraid there is no polite way you can do this, let alone word it on an invitation.
  
  Your only options are to have a dry party or limit the bar to what you are willing to pay for.  But you cannot pass on the costs of drinks to your guests, whether or not they feel offended (which, in fact, they actually may feel but not have told you out of the desire not to hurt your feelings).
  

  Report2 Reply
• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2014

  There is no polite way to say that on an invite.

  
  

  Can I ask why you can't find a place to afford to pay for  their drinks?  It seems like you are having a low-key affair.  Why not have a backyard party or at a community center or a room or a place you can bring in your own food and drinks?    

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

  Report0 Reply
• TamsinA member

  

  February 2014

  The request came more from the groom than me, I love him but sometimes he can be a little too "careful" with money! We have agreed on not having a cash bar :-)

  
  

  What's a good time frame for giving people time to RSVP? 
  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  TamsinA said:

  I could use some advice on how to word something on our invites. We're having a small wedding with just family for the ceremony out of town and then a few days later we're doing a reception for our friends back home. We will be paying for the dinner but it's not in the budget to pay for drinks too (plus our lot like their wine!) I've read a lot of things about how you're not supposed to have a cash bar, however knowing our friends I know none of them would be offended at having to pay for their own wine. 

  
  

  But I don't know how to word it on the invites so that it's clear and there are no surprises, any suggestions?

  The event you are having several days after your wedding is not a part of your wedding.  It is simply a party to celebrate the fact that you are now a married couple.  No wedding dress, no wedding traditions.  You do not include any information about this party on your wedding invitations.
  You need to send separate invitations to this party.  They can be very informal invitations, or formal ones.  When you invite someone to a party, you pay for food and beverages - alcoholic or otherwise.  BYOB or cash bars are for fraternity parties, not hosted celebrations.
  Your wedding reception must take place on your wedding day, and it is for the people who attended your wedding ceremony.  You are going to have something for these people, I hope?  Especially if they are traveling to a destination to witness your marriage ceremony!
  

  

  Report1 Reply