engagement party and wedding invites

Re: engagement party and wedding invites

• doeydo member

  

  January 2014

  It is rude to invite people to pre-wedding parties, including an engagement party, and then not invite them to the wedding itself.  

  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  January 2014

  Yes you need to invite all of them. Think of it this way: these people were considered close enough to you that you wanted to celebrate your engagement with them. Even if you may not see them as often, unless something friendship-ending occurred, they should be on the wedding guest list too.

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2014

  Yep.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  Yes, invite them.  

  
  

  If you'd had some big falling out, you could excuse being rude and excluding them.  But for just drifting apart, don't be rude.  They may decline anyway.  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  If they were invited to your engagement party, then you need to invite them to your wedding, regardless of what your relationship with them is like now.
  

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• ktjanesmom member

  

  January 2014

  By the time your wedding occurs that will have been nearly 3 years since your engagement party so I say unless you can show me in some etiquette book that says you must invite them, I think you are safe not to. 
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  ktjanesmom said:

  By the time your wedding occurs that will have been nearly 3 years since your engagement party so I say unless you can show me in some etiquette book that says you must invite them, I think you are safe not to. 
  

  Feel free to look it up in any etiquette book you like.  No etiquette writer will agree that you are ever safe not to invite someone you sent a save-the-date to.
  

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• ktjanesmom member

  

  January 2014

  I don't believe the OP mentioned STD's. 
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  ktjanesmom said:

  I don't believe the OP mentioned STD's. 
  

  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  January 2014

  ktjanesmom said:

  I don't believe the OP mentioned STD's. 
  

  Anyone invited to any pre wedding event must be invited to the wedding. This is published by many etiquette sources.
  

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• ktjanesmom member

  

  January 2014

  I truly believe in manners and etiquette, I really do.  But I really feel like there is some wiggle room regarding some of it.  Its been nearly 3 years since her engagement party when she last spoke to some of those people.  Is it really a breach of etiquette if she doesnt invite them to the wedding after all this time?
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  January 2014

  This scenario serves as a cautionary tale to many newly engaged women.  The minute a ring is placed on a finger, many women kick into reaction mode.  (I'm not attempting to diminish the excitement of the moment.)  Within the first week of engagement, they have selected their wedding party, signed a contract for a venue, and have started the wheels rolling for pre-wedding events.  

  
  

  If you know you are going to have a long engagement, hold off on an engagement party.  If you have not even considered your guest list, only include immediate family and perhaps the closest friends to any pre-wedding parties.  Don't lock into your dream venue if you haven't considered any other logistics of your wedding.

  
  

  I agree that regardless of how much time has passed, there is an obligation to keep those people on the guest list.  

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• ktjanesmom member

  

  January 2014

  Yes I have "met" those women.   
  

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  January 2014

  christietasch2 said:

  I know that it is the rule of thumb that if someone is invited to your engagement party, then they must be invited to your wedding.  However, I have been engaged for a long time (engagement party was Jan 2012 and wedding is Oct 2014), and some of the friends that were invited to the engagement party I am not close with anymore and rarely see them.  Should I still invite them to the wedding?  Any input would be much appreciated.
  

  Yes, they should still be invited.  I would be extremely hurt if I wasn't invited to the wedding after being invited to the engagement party.  If those friends feel they aren't that close to you either anymore and don't want to attend, they'll decline.  But unless you want to write them out of your life completely, you should extend them an invitation.

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• chibiyui member

  

  January 2014

  ktjanesmom said:

  I truly believe in manners and etiquette, I really do.  But I really feel like there is some wiggle room regarding some of it.  Its been nearly 3 years since her engagement party when she last spoke to some of those people.  Is it really a breach of etiquette if she doesnt invite them to the wedding after all this time?
  

  Yes.
  
  Anyone invited to the engagement party should be invited to the wedding. Like @Mobkaz says, this serves as a great lesson to other brides that 1.) Maybe you shouldn't invite everyone too an engagement party 2.) Figure out all your logistics before said parties.
  
  OP, invite those friends. Let them decide if they want to attend, who knows, it could rekindle your friendship with them.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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