this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Invitations & Paper
Wedding Invitations & Paper
New Discussion

Wording question

Gizmo813Gizmo813 member
25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
edited January 2014 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
From what I've read on here and other places "honour of your presence is requested" is appropriate for a church wedding - which we are having. 

However, I like, "invite you to share in our joy as we exchange marriage vows" a lot better. We're not terribly formal people, and the wording of the "traditional" invitation is too formal to fit our personalities and tastes. 

Is this wrong?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Wording question

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2014
    Actually, Miss Manners responded to a guest who was confused by this exact wording and thought that they were only invited to the reception that this is why the normal wording is more appropriate-it doesn't 1) suggest that this particular wedding is more "joyous" than any other and 2) clarifies what the guest is invited to.

    Also, "honour of your presence/pleasure of your company at the marriage of" has the built-in assumption and nuance that this occasion is joyous and welcome.  There is a tradition that having to advertise the "joy" of the occasion actually is a signal that something is wrong, like an unwanted pregnancy.
    Report Reply
  • Gizmo813Gizmo813 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Jen4948 said:
    Actually, Miss Manners responded to a guest who was confused by this exact wording and thought that they were only invited to the reception that this is why the normal wording is more appropriate-it doesn't 1) suggest that this particular wedding is more "joyous" than any other and 2) clarifies what the guest is invited to.

    Also, "honour of your presence/pleasure of your company at the marriage of" has the built-in assumption and nuance that this occasion is joyous and welcome.  There is a tradition that having to advertise the "joy" of the occasion actually is a signal that something is wrong, like an unwanted pregnancy.
    I really don't know how people might think they are only invited to the reception when the location & time of the ceremony is clearly printed on the invitation. The reception is in a different location entirely, and there would be a reception card enclosed in the invitation. 

    The wording I'm thinking of using is:

    Together with our parents, we
    <OUR NAMES>
    invite you to share in our joy
    as we exchange marriage vows
    <Date>
    <Time>
    <Church Name>
    <Church Address>

    How is this confusing? 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2014
    Gizmo813 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Actually, Miss Manners responded to a guest who was confused by this exact wording and thought that they were only invited to the reception that this is why the normal wording is more appropriate-it doesn't 1) suggest that this particular wedding is more "joyous" than any other and 2) clarifies what the guest is invited to.

    Also, "honour of your presence/pleasure of your company at the marriage of" has the built-in assumption and nuance that this occasion is joyous and welcome.  There is a tradition that having to advertise the "joy" of the occasion actually is a signal that something is wrong, like an unwanted pregnancy.
    I really don't know how people might think they are only invited to the reception when the location & time of the ceremony is clearly printed on the invitation. The reception is in a different location entirely, and there would be a reception card enclosed in the invitation. 

    The wording I'm thinking of using is:

    Together with our parents, we
    <OUR NAMES>
    invite you to share in our joy
    as we exchange marriage vows
    <Date>
    <Time>
    <Church Name>
    <Church Address>

    How is this confusing? 
    I don't know why they'd find it confusing, but I guess these people felt that "invite you to share in the joy, etc." didn't indicate specifically that they wanted them to attend the ceremony, just the reception, because the reception is where the guests indicate their joy.

    Also, for some people, especially traditionalists, "invite you to share in the joy of...as they exchange marriage vows" may sound too wordy or too much like verbal PDA because the "joy" of the occasion could be interpreted in a vulgar way.  I don't necessarily endorse this particular interpretation, but in the interest of avoiding confusion and not making anyone uncomfortable, I'd stick with traditional wording even if it seems boring or colorless.

    I don't know what anyone's specific reasons are, but that's what I've heard.  The traditional wording is apparently more concise/dignified/clear about what the occasion is without sacrificing the "joy."   The purpose of the invitation, after all, is to convey logistical information to the guests.
    Report Reply
  • Gizmo813Gizmo813 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Jen4948 said:

    You got me, but I guess these people felt that "invite you to share in the joy, etc." didn't indicate specifically that they wanted them to attend the ceremony, just the reception, because the reception is where the guests indicate their joy.

    If this happened, I think I might question the guest's intelligence .... 

    I guess in some instances, you have to assume your guests are stupid, and spell out the fact that they are invited to a wedding at a church, even though the church's address is on the invitation, and other cases, you have to assume they can think for themselves (like knowing what to wear for the wedding.)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Gizmo813 said:

    If this happened, I think I might question the guest's intelligence .... 

    I guess in some instances, you have to assume your guests are stupid, and spell out the fact that they are invited to a wedding at a church, even though the church's address is on the invitation, and other cases, you have to assume they can think for themselves (like knowing what to wear for the wedding.)
    Yup, this is pretty much how you have to do it.  For example, at my cousin's wedding, some relatives of his on the other side of his family were underdressed in jeans, casual tops, and sneakers, when it was a formal afternoon/evening wedding.  They could have benefited from a specified dress code, but etiquette prescribes that you can't provide that in an invitation.
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ours said, 

    Together with their families, (our names) invite you to share a day of joy as they begin a life of love..." Nobody was confused about whether or not they were invited to the whole shindig. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    A proper wedding invitation is very simple - it is a note from the HOST to the GUEST, and it states who, what, when and where.  As long as your wording has that covered, it is acceptable.  Just make certain you are perfectly clear about what event is taking place!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards