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RSVP deadlines for DW

hmg1985hmg1985 member
5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Destination Weddings Discussions

This doubles as an etiquette question as well - Most "RSVP BY" deadlines I have gotten on other friends or family wedding invitations have typically been about anywhere from 2 months to 1 month before the wedding date. What are the typical deadlines other destination brides have put on their inviations? Is it tacky to ask for them back months earlier than that? Espeically if we are sending out our save the dates with the location a year ahead of time. I ask this because we have very large families and will be inviting around 300 people, even knowing that less than a third will be able to attend due to distance and $.

Also - how long do you wait to pick your bridal party for a DW? Thank you!

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Re: RSVP deadlines for DW

  • Crocam68Crocam68 member
    First Comment Name Dropper
    I would ask your location how far in advance they need approximate numbers. For my resort (beaches) we have to pay for the wedding 60 days before and then give a final head count around the 30 day mark. I am getting married in August and sending out my invites in April and asking for RSVPs by mid May since I have to pay in the beginning of June. After they get the save the dates they pretty much know if they're going or not.

    I asked my bridal party as soon as we figured out we were having a DW since they need to figure out if they can afford it since they have the extra expense of being in the wedding party.

    Good luck!
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  • pbi9994pbi9994 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I think it's a personal decision. We invited 80, and had no idea what to expect, so we couldn't book certain things - like transportation - not knowing whether we'd get 30 or 80 or something in between. So our RSVP deadline is 3 1/2 months ahead of the wedding. People who need extra time have let us know, and that's fine. But I'm using the yes's that I get by the deadline to decide if I'm booking 1 or 2 busses, and if we are going to do a day trip to Siena by train or rent a bus for that, etc.

    Ask your bridal party as soon as possible to make sure they will be able to make it, since they are obviously VIPs.
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  • shelikespinkshelikespink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Great question. I'm getting married in August 2015 but I haven't figured out the timeline yet!

    Regarding bridesmaids, I think it's a good idea to tell them when you've sorted out who they will be! Probably within a month or so of getting engaged.. one of my best friends got engaged last year and didn't ask me to be in her wedding party until a couple months ago, and I felt kind of offended! So I made sure to tell everyone right away.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer

    I had same issue and really wanted an estimate number early on. We invited about 80 people, knowing that many couldn't go (we had talked to several in advance, but still wanted to send them official invites).  We were hoping for less than 50 attending, but prepared if more came. So, we sent out an "Preliminary RSVP" with STD 10 months before wedding, with due date 8 months before wedding.  We made sure to put on it that it wasn't final decision if they aren't sure yet, and we are just looking for an estimated count.  We put check box options for yes, no, and don't know yet. We only received about 1/2 of them back, but it gave us input on several of the people we were unsure of. In the end, it looks like we have 30-40 people attending.

    Then we are doing "Final RSVP", sending out 4 months before wedding, with due date 3 months prior to wedding.  I need to submit final guest list to my venue 2 months prior to wedding, so that leaves me 1 month to track down anyone that doesn't respond.

    image 

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