Nervous No One is Going to Attend Wedding!

Re: Nervous No One is Going to Attend Wedding!

• themuffinman16 member

  

  January 2014

  I have serious family drama as well. My father is not attending my wedding, My FI is inviting 160 people.  I am inviting 30. Only 20 guests of mine will attend.  That being said, it's quality over quantity.  The few guests that are attending on my side would take a bullet for me. To me, that's more meaningful than packing in the house.  I, also, have other guests who will not be able to attend because they live out of town.  They will be there with me, in spirit, though.  I know, if they could swing it, they would come in a heartbeat.  Next time you visit your OOT relatives, bring your wedding photo and the video (if you have one).  It will make them feel remembered, and feel special that after all those busy wedding activities, you thought of them.  I know nothing magnifies family dysfunction quite like a wedding.  Hang in there.  Some people will surprise you, some will do what you expect, and the rest have been with you all along. Celebrate the 10.

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• thejucheidea member

  

  January 2014

  I had five family members come to my wedding, and two of them didn't speak to one because of the intense mutual hatred among them. When it comes to friends, I have a small group of close friends and a large net of acquaintances, so of course I just invited my small group. My husband's group made up probably 70 of the 90 who were at our wedding, and five of my invites were coworkers, lol.

  
  

  In the end, your family's about to become blended anyway, so embrace the family there and enjoy yourself. You're about to have someone who loves you dearly, so think about that instead of your massive family drama -- I know from experience that you're gonna feel a ton better forgetting that madness and focusing on your relationship with your husband.

  
  

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• Lauderdale Pink member

  

  January 2014

  Will you be there with the man of your dreams and the officiant?  Yes? Ok then, you have all you need.  Stop focusing on the people who will detract from your happiness.  Do you have a friend or two to stand up for you?  Are there people in your life who are celebrating this time with you?  We don't get to pick our biological family, but we do have control, as adults, who is part of our life from now on.  Surround yourself with those people, no matter how few or how many, and you will have all the love and support you need.  Now go give your FI a hug and kiss.

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• futureallen2015 member

  

  January 2014

  Thank you all for your helpful feedback, I feel a little more at ease now about the situation. The most important person besides, of course, my future husband, is my mom and she is defo going to be there so I guess everything else will fall into place. I surely don't plan on allowing anything like this steal my joy!! It has been a long time coming!!

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• shann106 member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  I am in the same boat. I am inviting 80-100, but honestly I am think 25 may show. I have cried about it until I am dehydrated. I want to elope but FI is set on a church wedding and grand ballroom reception. We are booked at $65 a person, plus centerpieces, plus decor, plus plus plus. If we spend over $10000 and 25 people show up I am going to be upset, But like everyone else said really just about the two of us and the beginning of our life together.

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  January 2014

  shann106 said:

  I am in the same boat. I am inviting 80-100, but honestly I am think 25 may show. I have cried about it until I am dehydrated. I want to elope but FI is set on a church wedding and grand ballroom reception. We are booked at $65 a person, plus centerpieces, plus decor, plus plus plus. If we spend over $10000 and 25 people show up I am going to be upset, But like everyone else said really just about the two of us and the beginning of our life together.

  At least the no-shows will RSVP no, right?  So you won't be stuck paying for people who aren't there?

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• CaliMel11 member

  

  January 2014

  shann106 said:

  I am in the same boat. I am inviting 80-100, but honestly I am think 25 may show. I have cried about it until I am dehydrated. I want to elope but FI is set on a church wedding and grand ballroom reception. We are booked at $65 a person, plus centerpieces, plus decor, plus plus plus. If we spend over $10000 and 25 people show up I am going to be upset, But like everyone else said really just about the two of us and the beginning of our life together.

  People should RSVP and any good venue will ask you for a final head count just so that this does not happen. I really hope everyone shows up though! I'm sure it will be fine!
  

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• Chipmunk415 member

  

  January 2014

  I've posted this elsewhere- we invited 86. To date, we have 39 confirmed attending, 6 tentative (verbal yes, but no RSVP yet). We will be calling people the day before and day of the deadline. Don't worry- people will come, and if they can't all that matters is that you two are getting married. FI and I got our marriage license yesterday, and it doesn't matter if anyone shows, I'm excited to be marrying him.

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• telsmore member

  

  January 2014

  I'm in a similar situation myself... I don't know if my father and his side of my family is attending. What I'm doing is inviting them all and letting them be dramatic and have it on their conscience, not mine. Believe me, even if your grandma doesn't like you, if you don't invite her, she might start a huge arguement and drama about it and it could make your planning a living hell. And if you think they'll be miserable at your wedding, just simply don't invite them. You have that right and you can just say you ran out of money or seats anyway. But make sure you send your invitations and know all your rsvps BEFORE you sign any kind of contract with your venue. Or else if you say in the contract there will be 70 who will come and only 10 show up, you will be paying for the ones that didn't show up. So in situations like ours, I say invitations and rsvps are an absolute priority, and as long as the invites are sent in a year or less, you should send them ASAP because you need to plan and budget, and how else can you do that without a solid number? Once you get that approximate number, you can't imagine that more than 10 people give or take would not be able  to come or will be able to show up by the time your wedding rolls around. 

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• KatWAG member

  

  January 2014

  In my experience, an open bar always helps drive attendance!

  

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• FiancB member

  

  January 2014

  My side will definitely be smaller and now due to family drama I'm not even sure if my parents will show up. Plus we are from opposite sides of the country so if we have it here, I may not have many guests at all and if we have it over there, he may lose some. At least it will be an intimate affair with only people that are deeply involved in your life, and the wedding will be much cheaper too. Honestly as long as my best friends can make it that's all I really care about.

  
  

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