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Question about wedding party table/seating at dinner

jenna8984jenna8984 member
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in Wedding Reception Forum
I have seen a huge table with the bride, groom, and wedding party and I've seen a sweetheart table and the wedding party dispersed at tables with people they know. Would it be awkward/ rude to do a combination and have some of the wedding party sit with us and some not? We only have 4 people in the wedding party but basically 2 of them will know lots of other people in attendance and 2 of them won't know anybody. Can we seat the ones who don't know anyone with us and seat the others with their family/people they know? Or would they feel "left out" that they weren't chosen to sit with us? (no matter what, each member will be seated with their date)

                                                                 

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Re: Question about wedding party table/seating at dinner

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
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    edited January 2014
    jenna8984 said:
    I have seen a huge table with the bride, groom, and wedding party and I've seen a sweetheart table and the wedding party dispersed at tables with people they know. Would it be awkward/ rude to do a combination and have some of the wedding party sit with us and some not? We only have 4 people in the wedding party but basically 2 of them will know lots of other people in attendance and 2 of them won't know anybody. Can we seat the ones who don't know anyone with us and seat the others with their family/people they know? Or would they feel "left out" that they weren't chosen to sit with us? (no matter what, each member will be seated with their date)


    There is not a right or wrong way to do this. The only thing that you must do is seat couples together. It would be very rude to have your MOH sit at the table with you but put her boyfriend at another table. So yea,  you can have your WP spread out at multiple tables. And your plan sounds fine. I dont think anyone would feel left out. You spend such a small amount of time actually sitting at the table anyway.  

    My head table was a round table of 8. So it was H and I. MOH and her boyfriend (who was a gm), and our 2 best men and their dates. The rest of our bridal party sat at other tables.

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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     Unless you did just the Best Man and MOH, I think it's odd. Either have them all, none, or BM and MOH. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
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    AddieL73 said:
     Unless you did just the Best Man and MOH, I think it's odd. Either have them all, none, or BM and MOH. 


    ooh luckily it is the BM and MOH who are the ones that don't know anyone so that could work lol

                                                                     

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    MandyMostMandyMost member
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    So, would your head table be just the 6 of you? I'd just add the rest of the bridal party and have a table for 10....assuming most of your tables are for 8-10 people. 
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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
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    MandyMost said:
    So, would your head table be just the 6 of you? I'd just add the rest of the bridal party and have a table for 10....assuming most of your tables are for 8-10 people. 

    We're only having 50 guests so the coordinator told me they would likely set up tables of 6 to take up more space instead of having just 5 tables in large reception space.

                                                                     

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    BlueBirdMBBlueBirdMB member
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    AddieL73 said:
     Unless you did just the Best Man and MOH, I think it's odd. Either have them all, none, or BM and MOH. 


    I agree with this.  We only had two WP members so we had them with their SOs and our parents at our table. 
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    jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    So you and your new H will sit with your MOH + date and your best man + date, and then the other wedding party members will sit somewhere else with their dates?  I think that sounds absolutely fine. And it's fine to sit at a regular round table (that's what we did)--no need to have a formal head table.
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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
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    jessicabessica said:
    So you and your new H will sit with your MOH + date and your best man + date, and then the other wedding party members will sit somewhere else with their dates?  I think that sounds absolutely fine. And it's fine to sit at a regular round table (that's what we did)--no need to have a formal head table.
    Exactly what I had in mind! Thanks

                                                                     

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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    AddieL73 said:
     Unless you did just the Best Man and MOH, I think it's odd. Either have them all, none, or BM and MOH. 


    My daughter did this.  Her wedding party was large enough that to have one big wedding party table (and SO's), the table would have been......big.  They had a modified sweetheart table that included their MOH, date, BM, and date.  The remainder of the wedding party sat at tables with mutual friends.  Everyone had a pleasant dining experience.
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    lc07lc07 member
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    I think your idea sounds great! I attended a wedding once as a guest where my best friend and another very close friend were both in the bridal party. I was not, which of course, was totally fine. But it was so nice that the bride sat myself and my husband at a table with my best friend and my other friend and her husband and another couple. I was so glad to get to spend dinner seated with them!
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    edited January 2014
    As a guest, I would think that you only wanted the VIP of the wedding party sitting with you.   I think it's all or nothing.  In your case, since it's a smaller wedding, I'd probably just have the sweetheart table. You'll just be there to eat and the rest of the time you'll be up mingling anyway.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    JoanE2012 said:
    As a guest, I would think that you only wanted the VIP of the wedding party sitting with you.   I think it's all or nothing.  In your case, since it's a smaller wedding, I'd probably just have the sweetheart table. You'll just be there to eat and the rest of the time you'll be up mingling anyway.
    Curious.  I would have never thought of this perspective.  Because of the age of my own children, as well as my nieces and nephews, I am aware of current trends. Now I want to ask some of my friends unfamiliar with trends what they would think if they saw this.  Food for thought, JoanE.
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    mobkaz said:
    JoanE2012 said:
    As a guest, I would think that you only wanted the VIP of the wedding party sitting with you.   I think it's all or nothing.  In your case, since it's a smaller wedding, I'd probably just have the sweetheart table. You'll just be there to eat and the rest of the time you'll be up mingling anyway.
    Curious.  I would have never thought of this perspective.  Because of the age of my own children, as well as my nieces and nephews, I am aware of current trends. Now I want to ask some of my friends unfamiliar with trends what they would think if they saw this.  Food for thought, JoanE.
    I think it's partly because I just haven't seen it done.  I've only seen all or nothing.  So it would strike me as odd.   But as a guest I wouldn't be giving it too much thought.  As long as you host me properly and there's good food, I don't care where the bridal party sits.  :)
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    huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    I've seen the bridal party spread out, some sitting with the bride and groom, and some sitting with their other friends. I think it's fine. Though the wedding I'm thinking of had their siblings that were in the wedding party sitting with the bride and groom, and the other bridal party members were sitting with their other friends. The only thing you have to do is make sure your wedding party is sitting with their dates. Where you sit them is up to you.
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    monkeysipmonkeysip member
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    We had round tables that seated 8-10.  I had 2 MOHs ( my sister and my best friend) and H had three GMs (his two brothers and his best friend).

    Since my sister and H's brothers knew everyone at the wedding, we seated them and their spouses at tables with their families.  

    Since my best friend and H's best friend didn't know anyone, we sat them and their dates at our table, along with two other friends of mine who wouldn't have known anyone there.

    I think it worked out great, and I must say I'm a big fan of just doing round tables for everyone.  I really think head tables are awkward, and I'm not a big fan of sweetheart tables.

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    vt&dtvt&dt member
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    We're doing something similar: FI & I will sit with the MoH and her boyfriend and the BM and his wife.  We didn't want to separate our wedding party from their SO's/families and we each have 5 attendants.


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