wedding nanny

clanager03 · January 2014

Alright so I am getting in May my son will be 2 by then and I need a sitter. I have been told to look on care.com and what not. I recently found my fair nanny has anybody else used this company or a similar company where the nanny comes to your reception site?

smalfrie19 · January 2014

......are you parents or close family members unwilling to help you?

SlothGoals · January 2014

smalfrie19 said:

......are you parents or close family members unwilling to help you?

I'm assuming that if she is getting married in May then those close to her will be attending and unable to help.

smalfrie19 · January 2014

My parents will be attending my wedding..but will also probably have care of my nephew while my sister is standing up with me... don't see the issue.

hlvonb · January 2014

clanager03 said:

Alright so I am getting in May my son will be 2 by then and I need a sitter. I have been told to look on care.com and what not. I recently found my fair nanny has anybody else used this company or a similar company where the nanny comes to your reception site?

@clanager03

I have heard some negative things about my fair nanny. I use care.com and a lot of my friends do too. I would go with that one if you can't have your parents or another close family member watch your son. All the weddings I have been to the parents, grandparents or a close aunt or something watched the kid.

clanager03 · January 2014

Yeah i am sure my parents and grandparents will help out thats not the problem I don't want them to not enjoy themselves cause they have to watch my kid. Or even have to leave early because he is tired. I want him there as much as he wants to be thats why I was thinking my fair nanny. @hlvonb what negative things have you heard?

hlvonb · January 2014

@clanager

Just because they help out doesn't mean they will not enjoy themselves. They will have just as much fun. And chances are your grandparents will probably leave early (earlier) than most people anyway so having to take your son home probably would not be an issue.

It's been things like the people are not qualified, have no experience, take the child to their friends house so they can hang out, not watching the child while they're babysitting, etc

lc07 · January 2014

I don't know anything about either website but I want to add that I don't think it's fair to put the babysitting duties on family and friends that are attending the wedding like some of the PPs are suggesting.

lc07 · January 2014

smalfrie19 said:

My parents will be attending my wedding..but will also probably have care of my nephew while my sister is standing up with me... don't see the issue.

And presumably, your sister will take care of her child during the reception. If OP is the bride and doesn't want to babysit her child throughout the entire reception it isn't fair for her to ask her guests to.

clanager03 · January 2014

Yeah I feel awful asking my parents or grandparents to I am sure they won't mind but I don't want to ask them.

hlvonb · January 2014

lc07 said:

I don't know anything about either website but I want to add that I don't think it's fair to put the babysitting duties on family and friends that are attending the wedding like some of the PPs are suggesting.

@Ic07

It's not fair to demand they do it but most family members would probably offer

lc07 · January 2014

It sounds like no one has offered and the OP is smart to look for another option.

clanager03 · January 2014

The only thing that was offered was my parents would keep my son over night which is great but if they are drinking I don't want them putting my kid in a car while they have both been drinking... I know I am paranoid but what ever

doeydo · January 2014

I would not ever use someone that I found online to watch my children (if I had kids), even if the website is 'reputable'. I would ask friends/family if they have good sitters that they would recommend or ask a neighbor or something.

clanager03 · January 2014

Thats a good idea I did not think of that asking friends or family if they had a babysitter they liked that I could use .. I was so focused on every one being at the wedding that nobody would be available.

mysticl · January 2014

Does your son go to daycare? Some daycare teachers/aides moonlight as babysitters for their clients.

clanager03 · January 2014

No he doesn't

kmmssg · January 2014

Whoa....Nana POV here.

I have 6 beautiful grandchildren ranging from 6-12. It has been made CRYSTAL clear that other than the ceremony (2 of them are in wedding party), I am not and will not be doing any child minding whatsoever at the reception.

If any of them were 2, no way in Hell. Please understand - I love my girls, I love their children. MY child is getting married and I am not missing any of that to babysit. Especially not a 2 year old. I have had 2 year olds. I have had 2 year old grandchildren. They take constant attention and I am not missing the reception to take care of the babies. I will not have just as much fun - I will be missing the adult fun with my guests. Ain't happening.

My girls and I have been having conversations already as to the logistics of their children and who will be minding them since one mother is the bride and the other mother is the MOH.

I swear, I really am not a wicked witch (although my coffee cup does refer to my Flying Monkeys) - but I am not giving up a very important, once in a lifetime event for ME, to mind a toddler.

OP - you are wise and kind to not ask your parents or grandparents. This is a very important event for them as well.

Stepping off soapbox now...

Senecaf · January 2014

I've thought about this too. Mine is probably the only wedding half of my family will have in the next decade. I'm sure they would be alright with it but I dont want my parents or my grandmother (she watches my kids eveyday anyway, she needs a break!) to have leave their daughters wedding early to take home my kiddos. They may want to leave but it's unlikely since they will be enjoying the company of their family members they don't get to see often.

However, I am super leary of internet strangers caring for my children. All of my go to sitters will be guests.

For reference my kids will be 7 and 5 by the wedding August and will need no care during the ceremony as they are participating and sitting with the parents and basically none at the reception. They are very well behaved and will "watched" by all of theor numerous parents -yes me and dad will keep an eye on them- grandparent and regular care givers. I'm just worried about around 9 o'clock when they get sleepy or overwhelmed.

clanager03 · January 2014

thank you @kmmsg for your opinion I am on your side 100 percent I want everybody to enjoy them self and not have to worry about my child.

@senecaf I am very very weary about internet caregivers from my fair nanny to care.com I know tons of people use it I am just not comfortable with somebody I do not know watching my child. And same all my go to sitters will be at the wedding.

I come up with ideas about having a friend of a friend who is a sitter baby sit my son then it comes down to well how is getting home I don't want him in a car with somebody who is drinking.

B0320 · January 2014

I work full-time as a nanny and have done event care in the past for families I've met through Care.com. Usually I meet with them once before the event (coffee shop, lunch, etc.) and get basic info on their event and childcare needs that way its not a total stranger-meeting-stranger situation. If possible we schedule an hour or two for me to babysit so I can meet their children. At the event I usually bring age-appropriate activities and have a key to the parents room so that I can get the children settled down and in bed at a per-arranged time.

If you are thinking of using Care.com I would suggest only using child care providers who have a background check posted and references available.

Good luck!

kmmssg · January 2014

@clanager03 - maybe there is some middle ground where you would be more comfortable. Can you ask your friends for some recommendations of trusted sitters you could get to know and your son could get to know? I completely understand (and agree) with being so wary of internet strangers and I would not go that route myself.

When DH and I got married our son was 16 months old. I had known MOH's DD since she was 3 and at the time of my wedding she was 15 or 16. I hired her to be DH's babysitter for the day. She got him dressed for the ceremony (he was not in our ceremony as he was too little) and she brought him into the church after we were up at the altar and stayed in the back with him. We knew if he was up close to the front he would want to be up there with us. Our game plan was to have him in the back and if something happened and he got upset and he wanted us, she was to let him come forward. He was a happy little clam with her.

She also had him for the reception. She made sure he ate dinner and we had a high chair for him. She was really our lifesaver for that one! I hope something in all of that helps to spark an idea for you.

Good luck!

MarieNV · February 2014

I have not used Care.com but can recommend a similar site http://ReliableSitters.org

There is some good information there and you should be able to find several qualified applicants. Some even have client feedback on their profiles.

Best of luck!

WildMagelet · February 2014

I would ask your friends/family/etc. about their recommendations for sitters. I'd hire the sitter a few times for a few hours at a time so I could get a feel for her and how my child likes her before committing to an all-day affair like a wedding.

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