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Invitation dilemma

kkitkat79kkitkat79 member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I got married a few months ago in Canada. My husband and I are originally from Israel. We still have friends there and my husband's parents live there as well. In May we are having a celebratory party (not a second wedding) in Israel so that we can celebrate our marriage with my husband's parents and friends that couldn't make it to the wedding in Canada. It is a very strong tradition in Israel to gift money. My sister's mother-in-law sent us a significant amount of money when my sister came here for the wedding. I worry that if I invite her to the party in Israel she'll feel that we're looking for another gift or just feel pressure to give something just because that's what's done there. On the other hand I don't want to seem ungrateful by not inviting her. My instinct is to not invite her to the party, but to go visit her and thank her that way, I am planning to bring a small thank you gift as well, but I do worry that she'll be offended if I don't invite her. What would you do?
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Re: Invitation dilemma

  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Just invite her and don't say anything about gifts.
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  • kkitkat79kkitkat79 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh, I would never say anything about gifts, but people just bring money, that's the tradition and I'm afraid that she'll think I am inviting her just to get more money. Or that she'll get annoyed by the invitation because she'll feel like she has to give something because she is invited.
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  • vt&dtvt&dt member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    If those are the two options - having her wonder if she should give another gift or having her wonder if she isn't wanted at the party... I'd always invite her.  She should know that she gave a generous gift and is not required to give another.  Better that than thinking she isn't important enough to be invited to the party.

    Have you sent a thank-you note for the gift she sent?  If not, she may be more inclined to feel like you're looking for more.  
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  • kkitkat79kkitkat79 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I did send a thank you note.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    kkitkat79 said:
    Oh, I would never say anything about gifts, but people just bring money, that's the tradition and I'm afraid that she'll think I am inviting her just to get more money. Or that she'll get annoyed by the invitation because she'll feel like she has to give something because she is invited.
    I wouldn't worry about it.  Tradition or no, she is not required to give you a gift-she can always decline to attend or give one.
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