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Formal invitation wording with two sets of divorced parents!

dolewhipperdolewhipper member
First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
edited January 2014 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
So I'm looking for correct wording on how to incorporate all parents into our formal wedding invite. We are both close to our step parents and want to honor all of them. FTR, we are getting married in a church, my father's passed and my step mom never remarried. 

These are my ideas:

Mr. and Mrs. Step dad and Mom
Mrs. Dads name (my father passed away, I believe this is the proper form for a widow)
And 
Mr and Mrs. FI dad and step mom
Ms. FI mom
Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children
Shannon Maya 
To 
Mr. Thomas James last name
on date date date

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Step dad and Mom
Mrs. Dads name
Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Shannon Maya
To 
Mr. Thomas James last name
Son of Mr. and Mrs. FI Dads name and Ms. FI Moms name
on date date date


Does FI mothers name go before his father and step mother's? We'd rather not do "Together with their parents" if we don't have to. 


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Re: Formal invitation wording with two sets of divorced parents!

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Second version, but with his mom listed first. The first version makes it sound like all those people are your parents. If you want to list all of your parents names before your names, I think it should be (all the parents' names, mothers before fathers and yours before his)
    Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
    Shannon Maya (last name; it might not be clear since you'll have multiple last names listed above)
    and
    Mr. Thomas James McEvoy

    I have divorced and remarried parents, and FI has a widowed and remarried mom so we're doing "together with their families," but we're paying for the vast majority of the wedding.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2014
    Lolo8383 said:
    Second version, but with his mom listed first. The first version makes it sound like all those people are your parents. If you want to list all of your parents names before your names, I think it should be (all the parents' names, mothers before fathers and yours before his)
    Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
    Shannon Maya (last name; it might not be clear since you'll have multiple last names listed above)
    and
    Mr. Thomas James last name

    I have divorced and remarried parents, and FI has a widowed and remarried mom so we're doing "together with their families," but we're paying for the vast majority of the wedding.
    That was what I was afraid of! Thank you so much


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  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014

    Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad's Last Name
    Mrs. Dad's Last Name (If that is how she prefers to be called.  Some widows might prefer "Ms.")
    And 
    Ms. FI's Mom's Last Name
    Mr and Mrs. FI Dad's Last Name
    Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children
    Shannon Maya (Just your first and middle names, I believe) 
    and
    Thomas James 
    Saturday, the tenth of June
    two thousand fourteen
    at three o'clock in the afternoon
    Coach Barn at Shelburne Farms
    One Maple Street
    Shelburne, Vermont


    image
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    So I'm looking for correct wording on how to incorporate all parents into our formal wedding invite. We are both close to our step parents and want to honor all of them.

    Why do you want to have all those names on your wedding invitation?  Are all those people actively hosting your wedding? 
    The wedding is a note from the HOST to the guests, giving them the important information of who, what, when and where.  IT IS NOT AN HONOR TO BE ON THE INVITATION!  It is only an honor to receive one.  You should honor all these people in your wedding program, not the invitation.
    Here is what your invitation should look like if your mother and your stepmother are co-hosting:

    Mr. and Mrs. Step dad
    Mrs. Dads name
    request the honour of your presence at the marriage of
    Shannon Maya Lastname
    to 
    Mr. Thomas James last name
    Day, date
    time
    Church Name
    Address
    City, State

    Here is what the invitation looks like with everybody hosting:


    Mr. and Mrs. Step dad
    Mrs. Dads name
    Mr and Mrs. FI dad
    Ms. FI mom
    request the honour of your presence at the marriage of
    Shannon Maya Lastname
    to 
    Thomas James last name
    (etc.)

    "Children" do not get married.

    I suggest this non-traditional alternative:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the honour of your presence
    as they are united in marriage
    Day, date (etc.)

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain as far as who is hosting, all sets of parents are contributing towards the wedding, financially as well as helping with planning. Whomever pays for the wedding is a host, right? I wrote honor, but what I meant by that was to give respect where it's due, which is naming the hosts as they are (which are all 6 parents-oy!)


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    shannonmaya said:
    CMGragain as far as who is hosting, all sets of parents are contributing towards the wedding, financially as well as helping with planning. Whomever pays for the wedding is a host, right? I wrote honor, but what I meant by that was to give respect where it's due, which is naming the hosts as they are (which are all 6 parents-oy!)
    The bolded is wrong.

    Your wedding invitation is not a playbill, that lists all the people involved in the event, from the couple to the behind-the-scenes financial providers.

    Paying does not equal hosting.  As PPs have mentioned, "hosting" means issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting guests at the wedding, and seeing that their needs are provided for.  It is possible to contribute money without doing these things, and if any of the parents are financial contributors only but are not doing any of the duties involved in hosting, they should not be listed on the invitation at all because they are not hosts.  Also, as it is none of the guests' business who is paying for what, the invitation should not be worded to reflect that.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen has said it perfectly!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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