Budget rant and a question...

pockysquirrel · August 2012

Ugh! So I started the week under the impression that we had finally saved all the money we needed to cover all wedding-related expenses. Then two things happened:

We had thought FI's parents were going to cover the rehearsal dinner. Turns out they can't. Since everything's already booked and arranged, that then becomes a $1300 expense on our shoulders. Which is actually not as much a big deal as it is a minor annoyance. Really it's the second thing that bugs me worse.

Apparently I either misread our contract with the venue or completely forgot this lovely bit of information between November when we booked and now, because I had been of the impression that our bar would be open the entire reception. It will be open four hours. Of a six hour reception. And it has to be four CONSECUTIVE hours, so closing the bar during dinner is a no go. Which leaves us with the bar open for cocktail hour and the first three hours of the reception and closing at 9 when the reception doesn't end until 11. I would be okay with closing the bar for the last hour, but two seems a little weird and way early for the drinking to stop. Adding another hour of open bar could set us back up to $2300 - NOT an option, not unless we get a lot more 'no' RSVPs to bring the cost down. They have a consumption option as well, but knowing our guest list that could also get really expensive, really fast. FI is in favor of converting to a cash bar for the last two hours - his argument is that four hours of free alcohol is more than enough, and anyone who wants to keep drinking beyond that should be okay with paying for it. I've been hanging around TK long enough to have been brainwashed into the belief that cash bars are The Worst Possible Thing You Could Ever Do, Ever.

IDK, guys. I'm having one of those moments where I'm ready to throw my hands up, elope to Vegas, get as much of my money back as possible and put a down payment on a freaking house already. What would you do? Try and scrape together the extra money, switch to cash bar, or just have 2 hours worth of dry reception time?

Meanwhile I'm trying to keep my mind off everything by working on something ELSE wedding-related that I've been procrastinating on...picking my processional music. At least that's somewhat relaxing?

mrskristinyc · August 2012

I don't think it's the end of the world to make it a cash bar for the last two hours (as long as people have a heads up). It's a wedding, not a kegger.

We're in the same boat - we get the open bar for 4 hours (including dinner/cocktail hour), and we'll probably just go to cash afterwards since we don't want everyone to leave at 9 pm!

julzy · August 2012

I think a cash bar at the end isn't a catastrophe BUT people need a heads up. I never really have cash on me so if I were a guest, I'd like the heads up so I brought some cash.

(PS I've had the same thoughts about just running off and eloping though. ugh)

PattySmith101 · August 2012

oh that stinks!! now you have me looking at my contract to make sure i dont have a similar sittuation gonna happen!!! i would let the guests that are big drinkers know if you are switching to a cash bar- then they will be prepared- if it were me i would try to scrape the $ together but that is alot of $ but if i were a guest i would also understand the cash bar for the last 2 hours as weddings are expensive enough as it is!

pockysquirrel · August 2012

So if consensus is that switching to cash bar is appropriate as long as people are notified, what do you suppose is the best way of letting people know?

julzy · August 2012

We've been collecting email addresses to do an email blast to our guests with general wedding info- like schedules, travel and accomodations etc. Maybe you can do something like that?

We're using inbox25.com to send professional looking emails rather than just text, in case you decide to go that route. There are a lot of companies that allow you to do that same thing too I think. :-)

TheSlowskys · August 2012

In Response to Re:Budget rant and a question...:[QUOTE]We've been collecting email addresses to do an email blast to our guests with general wedding info like schedules, travel and accomodations etc.nbsp; Maybe you can do something like that? We're using inbox25.com to send professional looking emails rather than just text, in case you decide to go that route. There are a lot of companies that allow you to do that same thing too I think. : Posted by julzy[/QUOTE]

Do not notify them this way. No no no.

I think 4 hs open bar is fine. I would rather cash bar than it closing as a guest.

I think the most I would do is a sign on the bar like hosted bar 5 to 9. I think the better way is to Just spread it word of mouth.

lehc723 · August 2012

I'd also say word of mouth. Is there an ATM at your venue? You could put up signs at the bar so people know to get cash for later.

trawas01 · August 2012

I think switch to cash at the end of the night would be the best option here. I also agree letting guest know, prior to the wedding begining is also a good option.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

I think let the guest know ahead if you can, but also put a sign at the bar. If it was me, I would stock up on my drinks right before the bar closes

CarolineandDean · August 2012

What if, for the last 1-2 hours, you switch to only beer and wine? Would your venue allow that or bring the cost down to a more feasible number?

ericaandtom2012 · August 2012

Yikes, this is a crappy situation. How would you notify your guests that the last 2 hours is cash bar? There really isn't a polite way to do that - those phonecalls would be awkward. I think you should see if you can switch to beer and wine only afterwards. After 4 hours of open bar, most people will likely be slowing down. Would non-alcoholic drinks still be available at no cost? If not, I think you may need to find a way to make that happen.

Is it too late to not have a cocktail hour and just have the bar open after dinner?

goatlady12 · August 2012

Are cash bars at all common in your area? Most of the weddings I go to have a cash bar for all/part of the night. I just assume I have to bring money.
I don't see anything wrong with a cash bar for the last two hours. If I was a guest at your wedding, I would prefer the choice to pay for my drinks at the end of the night if I wanted. No one likes being cut off when they're having a good time.

jessiflower · August 2012

I have personally had really good luck with word of mouth. The cash bar is absolutely appropriate after 4 hours of open bar. We had the option of having an open bar 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 hours or cash bar. We absolutely couldn't afford to do an open bar...and we talk to everyone thats coming...they are our friends and family and through word of mouth, everyone was fine with cash....just word of mouth is good enough for this situation

catwine · August 2012

I agree that a cash abr is okay for the last 2 hours as long as you let people know.
i actually went to a wedding that had an opne bar but placed a little "tip" jar at the bar to help out the bride's dad with paying for everything. it wa sa little weird, but people were totally into it!

julzy · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_budget-rant-and-a-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:4084b48b-7af6-4d1d-b4e1-1a6606f52fb1Post:cbba0ee2-7b1e-4090-96c7-722b3f69a20b">Re:Budget rant and a question...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Budget rant and a question...: Do not notify them this way. No no no. I think 4 hs open bar is fine. I would rather cash bar than it closing as a guest. I think the most I would do is a sign on the bar like hosted bar 5 to 9. I think the better way is to Just spread it word of mouth.
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]

I don't see anything wrong with sending out emails with general wedding info. I wouldn't send an email with just that info but if it's included with a list of other things, what's wrong with it?

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

That sucks. I think you should first ask your venue if there is a beer and wine option only, and hopefully that for 5 hrs would be the same price as an open bar for 4. If that's not the case, I don't think an open bar at the end is the end of the world, but you should let ppl know. I rarely have cash on me, but I do when I go to weddings, just in case. The wedding I was at last weekend had a sign saying that beer and wine were compliments of the bride and groom, and well drinks during cocktail hour....that let anyone know that if they wanted an upgrade or to keep with the whiskey and coke for the night, they would be paying. Maybe you could have a cute sign like that indicating that drinks are compliments of the b&g for the first 4 hours.....

TheSlowskys · August 2012

In Response to Re:Budget rant and a question...:I agree that a cash abr is okay for the last 2 hours as long as you let people know.nbsp;i actually went to a wedding that had an opne bar but placed a little "tip" jar at the bar to help out the bride's dad with paying fornbsp; everything.nbsp; it wa sa little weird, but people were totally into it! Posted by christinavy I would completely side eye that. Edit: by cash bar do you mean they don't accept credit cards? I've never been to a wedding that was cash bar that didn't let you open a tab. If it is truly 'cash" only I think you need to figure something out and I would be pissed to have to go to an atm.

Stina2012 · August 2012

Could you host for another hour and close the reception at 10pm? Or do beer and wine the entire six hours so it's cheaper overall? Maybe the venue could work with you to get creative.

In my area (NoVA/DC) cash bars are a no-go. Yes it is expensive, but it is what it is. And the tip jar thing? Ew.

ETA: Just saw the cost for the extra hours is $2300. I'd see if changing it all to beer and wine would be possible and bring down the cost. Also, totally agree with the eloping thing!

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