Dear Prudence,
A few days ago I was walking from my downtown office to lunch when I spotted my 14-year-old son “Tom” walking down the street with “Becky,” a classmate and friend of his. It was on a school day with an extended lunch hour. The school is not in walking distance, so I knew they’d taken the bus downtown. I resisted the urge to accost Tom and Becky on the street. When I spoke to him about it later, he was untruthful when I asked him what he did at lunch that day. I’d prefer he stay on campus, but it’s not against school rules to leave, and I don’t think they were up to anything illicit. I told Tom I feel obligated to let Becky’s parents know that they had left campus together. Tom, naturally, pleaded with me not to. Becky seems like a lovely girl, and she and Tom seem to be spending a fair amount of time together. We have not met her parents, but I feel an obligation to inform them what their daughter was up to with my son. On the other hand, they're good kids who were just enjoying their youthful companionship, and I understand how mortified my son will be if his mother tattles on his gal pal. Is there a middle ground here?