Groomsman is a dad-to-be

Re: Groomsman is a dad-to-be

• Maggie0829 member

  

  February 2014

  
  

  laurakensil said:

  My fiance has a groomsman whose wife is pregnant and due 5 days after our wedding.  We are both very close with the couple, so they came to us when they found out they were pregnant, worried about what would happen if she were to go into labor on our wedding day, since obviously her husband would need to be with her.  My first instinct was we'll just play it by ear, but they suggested that maybe he shouldn't be in the wedding, just in case.  They just don't want to leave us high and dry if she were to have the baby a couple days early.  What should we do?  We have 7 months until the wedding, so there is still time for my fiance to ask someone else.  Thoughts?  What would you do in our shoes?
  

  First, your FI should not replace his friend.

  
  

  Second, you have 7 months.  Yes, she is due 5 days after your wedding but a due date is only an estimate.  Your FI should let the GM know that whatever he decides to do is fine and that they will be invited to the wedding regardless.  At this point the guy should just stay a GM and then play things by ear as her due date approaches.  If she in fact goes into labor on your wedding then the GM just won't be able to make the wedding.  Not the end of the world.

  
  

  This is really something that neither you nor your FI should be worrying about since it is completely out of your control.

  
  

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• KatWAG member

  

  February 2014

  What should you do? How about being happy for yoru friends? Thsi really doesnt effect your wedding very much. Have him plan on being a GM. If she has the baby early, then GM wont be there. No big deal.

  It would be super rude to replace just because there is a chance he wont be there.

  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  February 2014

  In these situations I am always of the mind that you have asked him so he is a Groomsman whether he is there or not.  If he can't be with you then your program (or officient) can mention that John Smith as unable to be with you today as he and his wife have just welcomed their new child into the world. If you are having a religious ceremony you can have them mentioned in the prayer, if not, then ya'll walk down the aisle and do that getting married thing so you can start the party.  One groomsman can escort 2 BM's or they can walk individually.  Replacing him would be in very poor taste, IMO.

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• laurakensil member

  

  February 2014

  We are happy for them!  They are the ones that suggested, even are somewhat pushing us to ask someone else to be in the wedding!  My fiance was this groomsman's best man, so maybe "replace" is the wrong word.  We love them!  His wife was concerned with us finding someone else, not us.  She had something similar happen at her wedding (though not due to a baby) and was faced with the possibility of having to find another bridesmaid.  She understands, they both do, that we are not "replacing" her husband, but since it is so early, they are just giving us the opportunity to allow him to back with enough time that we could ask someone else if need be.  Sounds like general consensus so far is that we should just keep it as is.  We already have 4 BMs and only 3 GMs so if he can't make it, they 2 GMs will just have a girl on each arm I guess.
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  February 2014

  Maggie0829 said:

  
  

  laurakensil said:

  My fiance has a groomsman whose wife is pregnant and due 5 days after our wedding.  We are both very close with the couple, so they came to us when they found out they were pregnant, worried about what would happen if she were to go into labor on our wedding day, since obviously her husband would need to be with her.  My first instinct was we'll just play it by ear, but they suggested that maybe he shouldn't be in the wedding, just in case.  They just don't want to leave us high and dry if she were to have the baby a couple days early.  What should we do?  We have 7 months until the wedding, so there is still time for my fiance to ask someone else.  Thoughts?  What would you do in our shoes?
  

  First, your FI should not replace his friend.

  
  

  Second, you have 7 months.  Yes, she is due 5 days after your wedding but a due date is only an estimate.  Your FI should let the GM know that whatever he decides to do is fine and that they will be invited to the wedding regardless.  At this point the guy should just stay a GM and then play things by ear as her due date approaches.  If she in fact goes into labor on your wedding then the GM just won't be able to make the wedding.  Not the end of the world.

  
  

  This is really something that neither you nor your FI should be worrying about since it is completely out of your control.

  THIS

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  February 2014

  laurakensil said:

  We are happy for them!  They are the ones that suggested, even are somewhat pushing us to ask someone else to be in the wedding!  My fiance was this groomsman's best man, so maybe "replace" is the wrong word.  We love them!  His wife was concerned with us finding someone else, not us.  She had something similar happen at her wedding (though not due to a baby) and was faced with the possibility of having to find another bridesmaid.  She understands, they both do, that we are not "replacing" her husband, but since it is so early, they are just giving us the opportunity to allow him to back with enough time that we could ask someone else if need be.  Sounds like general consensus so far is that we should just keep it as is.  We already have 4 BMs and only 3 GMs so if he can't make it, they 2 GMs will just have a girl on each arm I guess.
  

  While your friends are ok with the possibility of being "replaced", we don't even tell brides to replace anyone in their WP.  While your friends may not care, how do you think the runner up GM will feel when he realizes he was only chosen so that sides can be even.

  Leave the GM in, if possible loosen up on your clothing requirement for GM.  Just have them all wear black suits and a specific tie.  That way if GM's wife goes into labor and they cannot make the wedding, your GM isn't out $200 on the tux rental that he doesn't use.
  

  

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• cowgirl8238 member

  

  February 2014

  OliveOilsMom said:

  laurakensil said:

  We are happy for them!  They are the ones that suggested, even are somewhat pushing us to ask someone else to be in the wedding!  My fiance was this groomsman's best man, so maybe "replace" is the wrong word.  We love them!  His wife was concerned with us finding someone else, not us.  She had something similar happen at her wedding (though not due to a baby) and was faced with the possibility of having to find another bridesmaid.  She understands, they both do, that we are not "replacing" her husband, but since it is so early, they are just giving us the opportunity to allow him to back with enough time that we could ask someone else if need be.  Sounds like general consensus so far is that we should just keep it as is.  We already have 4 BMs and only 3 GMs so if he can't make it, they 2 GMs will just have a girl on each arm I guess.
  

  While your friends are ok with the possibility of being "replaced", we don't even tell brides to replace anyone in their WP.  While your friends may not care, how do you think the runner up GM will feel when he realizes he was only chosen so that sides can be even.

  Leave the GM in, if possible loosen up on your clothing requirement for GM.  Just have them all wear black suits and a specific tie.  That way if GM's wife goes into labor and they cannot make the wedding, your GM isn't out $200 on the tux rental that he doesn't use.
  

  THIS.

  Don't replace the GM and if he takes himself out of the wedding party then so be it.  There is no reason to be worried. 
  

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• BMoreBride6 member

  

  February 2014

  what exactly do you mean "They just don't want to leave us high and dry"
  

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• Pepper6 member

  

  February 2014

  I would sit them down and explain that you'd love for him to be in the wedding and don't want to replace him with anyone else.  If the day comes and she goes into labor, then obviously he'll attend her and you'll just be short a GM, which is NOT an issue whatsoever.  Basically, plan for him to be in it, and let everything play out how it will.  

  
  

  I do agree with PP that in this scenario, it would be best to plan the GM attire to be just a plain suit that your friend might already own so he won't have to be concerned about wasting a tux rental if he can't make it to the wedding.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 2014

  It's up to the GM whether he wants to drop out or not.  Let him know that it's 100% his choice to be a GM, guest, or not attend.  

  
  

  Do not ask another GM, no matter what he does.  It doesn't matter if you have 4/3, 4/2 or 14/2.  Wedding parties are not about numbers.  

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