The Dear Prudence gem of the day...
Q. Accidental Deliberate Pregnancy: My son and his
wife always wanted children, but they kept delaying child bearing each
year because of various reasons. I was so disappointed because I knew
they were ready for kids and would make excellent parents. When they
stayed at my house for a few weeks during their home renovation, I found
some condoms in their room and decided to poke hole into a few of them.
I didn't seriously think it would result in a pregnancy, but it did.
They were happy, I was happy, and as I predicted, they are now wonderful
parents. I do wonder, though, whether I should come clean about the
circumstances of my grandson's conception. I feel a little guilty, even
though it's resulted in such a happy outcome. On the other hand, maybe
it wasn't even the holey condoms, maybe they just forgot to use it one
night. Should I confess?
A: You say you poked holes in the condoms, Grandma,
but I'm going to poke holes in your story. I think that this young
couple would have noticed when they went for a condom that the wrapper
had been ripped open. I doubt they would have concluded, "How thoughtful
of Trojan to pre-open the condoms to save us time while in the throes
of passion." At least you didn't say that you picked a used condom out
of the trash, put Ambien in the couple's dessert one night, then used a
turkey baster to inseminate your daughter-in-law. I rarely get questions
I think are fake, and when I do I discard them. But here's an example
of one I'm not buying.