Wedding Reception Forum

Tip jar for the bartenders? Etiquette?

The staffing agency/bartender service I am using asked me if I either wanted to put a tip jar out for the bartenders or include it in my bill. Is this bad taste or offensive or just fine?

Re: Tip jar for the bartenders? Etiquette?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    I find it tacky.  Guests should not have to open up their wallets at a wedding.  To me that included tips.  Sure they are not required, but there is a social obligation when you see a tip jar on any bar.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLostmelbelleup
  • The gratuity for our bartenders was included in our bill.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No tip jar.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Guests should not have to open their wallet for anything.  You pay the tip in the bill.  No tip jars belong out.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No jar. You pay the tip. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • No tip jar.  Gratuity was included, but I also tipped the bartenders separately before the wedding began.  I estimated what the consumption might be and gave them 20% of that.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No tip jar.  You pay the gratuity as part of your contract or on your own.  Your guests should not be expected to open their wallets at any time.
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our caterer asked us if we wanted a tip jar for our bartender, and we declined. The bartender gets paid a flat fee (quite a generous one), and we plan to tip him at the end of the night. We cannot stop our guests from tipping him if they want to, but without a tip jar, they won't feel obligated to do so.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    PrettyGirlLostmelbelleup
  • The staffing agency/bartender service I am using asked me if I either wanted to put a tip jar out for the bartenders or include it in my bill. Is this bad taste or offensive or just fine?

    No tip jars. Our bartender asked the same thing. It's a very clear case of "host it yourself or push the cost onto your guests?"

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    A tip jar is poor etiquette.  Tipping your staff is your responsibility, not your guests'.  

    If guests want to tip the bartender a little extra, they will do so without the jar.  
    grumbledore
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I almost never have cash on me anymore. If there was a tip jar out, I would feel compelled to tip the bartender and then feel bad that I couldn't. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • I have a question about this. My venue said that all tips for service staff was included in the service charge but then they said they would charge us $125/bartender if we chose not to leave out a tip jar. With 1 bartender/50guests that comes to $500...I highly doubt they would get $500 from my guests especially with the open bar... But shouldn't they be considered service staff and therefore not even need the tip jar or the additional $125?
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Often bartenders are separate from serving staff.   $125 sounds is on the lower end for what I would make a night, so really don't think it's that bad.    

    We tipped our bartenders $175 each on top of the $30 per person per hour for a min of 8 hours for staffing.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    melbelleup
  • I have a question about this. My venue said that all tips for service staff was included in the service charge but then they said they would charge us $125/bartender if we chose not to leave out a tip jar. With 1 bartender/50guests that comes to $500...I highly doubt they would get $500 from my guests especially with the open bar... But shouldn't they be considered service staff and therefore not even need the tip jar or the additional $125?
    Bartenders are always separate. I'd pay the $125 per and move on. My venue has a tip policy for bartenders based on how many guests. Luckily ours is only $60 per for the amount of people we'll have. They also get paid on top of tips.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I have a question about this. My venue said that all tips for service staff was included in the service charge but then they said they would charge us $125/bartender if we chose not to leave out a tip jar. With 1 bartender/50guests that comes to $500...I highly doubt they would get $500 from my guests especially with the open bar... But shouldn't they be considered service staff and therefore not even need the tip jar or the additional $125?
    I'd go ahead and pay the $125 to avoid the tip jar.  Your guests should never be expected to open their wallets.  Paying the bartenders is your responsibility.
  • As the hosts, tipping all the vendors for your wedding is your responsibility.
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