Tip jar BEHIND the bar?

RedJacks25 · February 2014

The event manager told me that the bartender will have a tip jar, but it will be behind the bar, under the counter where no one will see it. Is this bad taste? I understand that having it out where everyone can see it is tacky, but is there anything wrong with having it out of sight?
We obviously plan on generously tipping the bartender ourselves, but I'm not sure what the etiquette is with this so I didn't know what to say to the event manager.

Thanks!

mrs4everhart · February 2014

No, it's not tacky at all. Where else will the bartender(s) put additional gratuities if they are given by your guests? It's shady as hell putting money in your pockets if you're not working alone. I think it's a non-issue.

lyndausvi · February 2014

under the counter and out of sight of the guests? No not at all. In sight of the guests? Yes.

RedJacks25 · February 2014

lyndausvi said:

under the counter and out of sight of the guests? No not at all. In sight of the guests? Yes.

That was my instinct, but I wanted to be sure.

Thanks!

grumbledore · February 2014

Not tacky at all if it's out of sight - some guests will undoubtedly tip - as long as they don't feel that they HAVE to, it's fine.

manateehugger · February 2014

Nah, that's fine. Some of your guests may throw some cash your bartenders way if he/she is doing a great job. As long as no one can see it, you're fine.

QueerFemme · February 2014

Honestly, I wouldn't allow it. I would tell the bartender to graciously decline guest tips.

KittyKaty20 · February 2014

I'm with most everybody else here-if it's under the counter, out of sight, and someone tips the bartender, I say it's fine.

I've worked jobs where we didn't accept tips and as graciously as we declined, some customers were offended their extra generosity was politely refused.

antoto · February 2014

I don't mean to hijack this thread - but can I ask a question that adds to this?

What if your venue DOES have a tip jar on the counter? Is it in poor taste to ask them to put it somewhere else? I don't know if my venue does... but now I am slightly concerned, haha!

Weesh · February 2014

antoto said:

I don't mean to hijack this thread - but can I ask a question that adds to this?

What if your venue DOES have a tip jar on the counter? Is it in poor taste to ask them to put it somewhere else? I don't know if my venue does... but now I am slightly concerned, haha!

I asked my my venue to remove the tip jars from the bar. It's specifically written in my contract that the host will pay gratuities. They were fine with it.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

QueerFemme said:

Honestly, I wouldn't allow it. I would tell the bartender to graciously decline guest tips.

I would do this. Also, I would be weary that the bartenders would move that tip jar out in the open when you aren't looking.

lyndausvi · February 2014

antoto said:

I don't mean to hijack this thread - but can I ask a question that adds to this?

What if your venue DOES have a tip jar on the counter? Is it in poor taste to ask them to put it somewhere else? I don't know if my venue does... but now I am slightly concerned, haha!

You should be paying the tip, so there is no need to have a tip jar out.

That said, people still tip on their own and I personally have no problem with that. I have no problem with a jar under the counter to make it easier on the staff. You can only stuff so much in your pockets and often you have bottle openers and such in there already.

It's just when it's in your face I have a problem with.

grumbledore · February 2014

I wouldn't expect bartenders to turn down additional tips. That's how they make their money and frankly it could piss of the tipping guest. I will quietly make it known to our guests that we are tipping them but if they want to tip in addition to that, I think that's fine. The #1 thing to me is that they don't feel obligated.

antoto · February 2014

lyndausvi said:

antoto said:

I don't mean to hijack this thread - but can I ask a question that adds to this?

What if your venue DOES have a tip jar on the counter? Is it in poor taste to ask them to put it somewhere else? I don't know if my venue does... but now I am slightly concerned, haha!

You should be paying the tip, so there is no need to have a tip jar out.

That said, people still tip on their own and I personally have no problem with that. I have no problem with a jar under the counter to make it easier on the staff. You can only stuff so much in your pockets and often you have bottle openers and such in there already.

It's just when it's in your face I have a problem with.

Yeah I'm DEFINITELY paying the bar tenders a tip (my pocket book knows this) - so they definitely should not have a tip jar out. I will have to ask my coordinator about this. Thanks

lyndausvi · February 2014

grumbledore said:

I wouldn't expect bartenders to turn down additional tips. That's how they make their money and frankly it could piss of the tipping guest. I will quietly make it known to our guests that we are tipping them but if they want to tip in addition to that, I think that's fine. The #1 thing to me is that they don't feel obligated.

DH walks up to a bar at a wedding orders a vodka, club soda no fruit. Then he throws down a $20 and walks away. Doesn't even give them a chance to decline. He doesn't tip all night, just the first drink of the night and sometimes last one of the night All of our friends do the same, but then again they all work in the industry. I know our bartenders made bank at our wedding between us and our friends. I didn't mind. Heck, we were under a tent in the middle of a tropical storm with HEAVY drinkers. They worked for their money that night.

mbross3 · February 2014

I agree that it should not be visible, but I don't think that you should make the bartenders turn down tips offered by guests. Tips are how they make their money and even though you're tipping, if your guests are happy with their service and want to tip as well, why shouldn't they be able to as long as they don't feel obligated? Also I agree that guests might be put off by bartenders refusing a tip. If they're tipping on a properly hosted bar, it's because they are generous and very happy with the service.

antoto · February 2014

lyndausvi said:

grumbledore said:

I wouldn't expect bartenders to turn down additional tips. That's how they make their money and frankly it could piss of the tipping guest. I will quietly make it known to our guests that we are tipping them but if they want to tip in addition to that, I think that's fine. The #1 thing to me is that they don't feel obligated.

DH walks up to a bar at a wedding orders a vodka, club soda no fruit. Then he throws down a $20 and walks away. Doesn't even give them a chance to decline. He doesn't tip all night, just the first drink of the night and sometimes last one of the night All of our friends do the same, but then again they all work in the industry. I know our bartenders made bank at our wedding between us and our friends. I didn't mind. Heck, we were under a tent in the middle of a tropical storm with HEAVY drinkers. They worked for their money that night.

SUCH a good idea - I will now do this at every wedding. Before I was doing the $1 per drink but your idea is so much better and probably a lot easier for the bartender than having a buttload of dollar bills.

WildMagelet · February 2014

antoto said:
SUCH a good idea - I will now do this at every wedding. Before I was doing the $1 per drink but your idea is so much better and probably a lot easier for the bartender than having a buttload of dollar bills.

My dad always does this too. He usually tips on behalf of me and my brother as well and makes a point to tell us that he already gave a generous tip to the bartender and not to worry about it.

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

I've always tipped the same way. When I used to tend bar, I appreciated getting tipped up front a lot - especially if it was busy. I've actually seen assholes steal tips off the bar before, so I always felt better knowing the bartender not only got the money I was tipping them but knew I was the one doing the tipping so they didn't think I was rude.

Jen4948 · February 2014

As long as the tip jar is not visible by the guests, you should be okay.

But the guests should never be made to feel that they "owe" the bartenders a tip. I know some people take it upon themselves to tip the bartenders at the weddings they attend, but there can't be any sense that it is mandatory for a guest to tip.

MrsMarende · February 2014

If you plan to tip the bartender after I think you refuse the tip jar in any capacity and have the staff politely decline any gratuities.

This is what we plan to do as well.

Tip jar BEHIND the bar?

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