Pre-wedding Parties

OOT Guests at Rehearsal Dinner

mrsbizzzmrsbizzz member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited January 2014 in Pre-wedding Parties
My FMIL and FFIL are graciously hosting our rehearsal dinner. Because the wedding is being held in my hometown in the midwest and my FI's family is entirely from the east coast, my FMIL has decided to invite all out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner and instructed me to do the same.

My preliminary guest list for the RD is my bridesmaids, my immediate family, grandparents, and all aunts and uncles (all are from within two hours of the wedding city and most will already be in town Friday night). I do have some guests from the east coast too who I know will come into town Friday night if they attend the wedding, but for some reason, I feel uncomfortable inviting them to the rehearsal dinner. They are not as close to me as my family, so I don't want them to wonder why they've been invited to what is traditionally an intimate, family-oriented event. However, I don't also want them to wonder why they were not invited when the rest of the hotel is empty Friday night (all but two OOT guests are staying at the same hotel).

Should I go all or nothing or just invite my WP and family?

Re: OOT Guests at Rehearsal Dinner

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Are your wedding guests the ONLY people staying at this hotel? I don't understand how they will know it is empty unless that is the case.  As a guest who isn't that close to you, I would not question why others got invited and I didn't. My common sense would tell me I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner because we're not that close. There's no harm in inviting them if you're worried they will feel slighted, though. They can choose not to come if they think the RD should be more intimate. 


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  • My mother's side of the family attended an OOT wedding last year when my cousin got married.  We arrived in DC from NYC around 6pm on a Friday, and the RD was being held in a private room in the hotel's restaurant around 8.  The only family members who were invited were my cousin (the groom's) immediate family, my grandparents, and one uncle who is very close to the groom.  My mother's side is huge- nine aunts and uncle plus spouses, all the cousins- way too many people for a rehearsal dinner.  The rest of us partied in our hotel rooms and had a blast, and no one was offended in the slightest at not being invited, since we all think of a RD as a more intimate event.  Know your crowd- does your extended family expect to be at every RD?  Would some of them feel offended at not being invited, even knowing they're not as close to you as another family member?  If you want to play it safe invite them all, unless you know that they won't be slighted.  Good luck and happy planning :)

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The guests must feel close to you, if they are willing to fly in for your wedding, right? I would invite them if you're including all of the other oot guests. 
                       
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