Mom of GM at Head Table?

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

One of our groomsmen is truly single, and would like to bring his mother to the wedding since she is close to FI. So.. by etiquette, since she is this GM guest, does she need to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridal party? I feel like that's a little strange, sitting there with everyone who's a husband and wife and you have your mom next to you, but FI thinks it would be fine to sit her near his parents (despite never having really talked). What would you do in this situation?

Simply Fated · February 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

One of our groomsmen is truly single, and would like to bring his mother to the wedding since she is close to FI. So.. by etiquette, since she is this GM guest, does she need to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridal party? I feel like that's a little strange, sitting there with everyone who's a husband and wife and you have your mom next to you, but FI thinks it would be fine to sit her near his parents (despite never having really talked). What would you do in this situation?

I would ask the groomsman what he prefers.

Personally, I think that because, yes, she is his guest she should be seated with him.

SKPM · February 2014

Will she know anyone else at the wedding? I know you said she hasn't really talked with your FI's parents, but does she know any of the other guests close to her generation? Is there a table of your FI's friends where she would know a few people? I agree with PP to ask the GM where he thinks his mom would be most comfortable.

antoto · February 2014

Agree with PP, ask the GM - do whatever he says he prefers.

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

SKPM said:

Will she know anyone else at the wedding? I know you said she hasn't really talked with your FI's parents, but does she know any of the other guests close to her generation? Is there a table of your FI's friends where she would know a few people? I agree with PP to ask the GM where he thinks his mom would be most comfortable.

No, unfortunately she does not know anyone, as far as I know.

We will ask him where he would like his mother to sit.

SKPM · February 2014

So, I'm throwing this out there because I am curious. You by no means have any obligations per etiquette. But are this GM's parents married? Or does his mother have a significant other?

I ask because if you and FI wanted to, you might consider inviting them as a couple (budget and space and all that permitting). That would make it much easier to seat them with other "adults" (I know we're all adults, but I mean similar generation adults). We had invited the parents of some of our WP since they were close with FI or me, but seated them with other people we thought they'd get along with.

What you have at the moment is just an awkward situation all around, since it is fairly unusual to bring your parent as your date to a social function. There does not seem to be any etiquette-prescribed solution other than to seat the mom next to her son.

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

SKPM said:

So, I'm throwing this out there because I am curious. You by no means have any obligations per etiquette. But are this GM's parents married? Or does his mother have a significant other?
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She is divorced with no significant other.

I know, awkward situation, right?

SKPM · February 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

SKPM said:

So, I'm throwing this out there because I am curious. You by no means have any obligations per etiquette. But are this GM's parents married? Or does his mother have a significant other?
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She is divorced with no significant other.

I know, awkward situation, right?

Then I recommend asking the GM (or have FI ask him, rather) where he thinks his mom would be most comfortable sitting. It sounds likely that she'll be at the head table.

I can't really imagine wanting to attend a wedding as the date of your son who's a GM. She'll already be seated alone for the ceremony, and the reception seating sounds like it has potential to be awkward. She may be easy-going and take it in stride, hopefully!

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

SKPM said:
I can't really imagine wanting to attend a wedding as the date of your son who's a GM. She'll already be seated alone for the ceremony, and the reception seating sounds like it has potential to be awkward. She may be easy-going and take it in stride, hopefully!

And she is determined to be there! Haha. We will see once we ask him about his mom's comfort (and his own).

pinkcow13 · February 2014

This is so weird. Can't he ask anyone besides his mom to be his date? Does he have any female friends? I mean, maybe it's just me, but why would he want to bring his mom to a wedding? I could understand if maybe it were family or something, but if she won't know anyone else....

Anyways I agree with PP's and ask GM what he would like.

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

pinkcow13 said:
This is so weird. Can't he ask anyone besides his mom to be his date? Does he have any female friends? I mean, maybe it's just me, but why would he want to bring his mom to a wedding? I could understand if maybe it were family or something, but if she won't know anyone else....

Anyways I agree with PP's and ask GM what he would like.

I asked FI if there were any girls GM would rather take, but he said no. How strange! Now I will probably have a mother at a head table of twenty-somethings, or have a mother with no connections sit at a table and hope she makes small talk.

At least I know whatever GM would like to do is the decision, and no one will be tuffed about etiquette.
/why does he have to bring his mom as his plus one..

kmmssg · February 2014

I really don't understand how putting her out in a sea of people she doesn't know at all is gracious and polite. The other BP members have their "dates" at the head table so this guy's mom should sit there too. Yeah it's a little awkward but it is no big deal. What WOULD be awkward is to be the mom who is attending with your son watching the other bridal party members at the head table (with their dates/spouses/SO's, while you have been relegated to a table full of strangers.

I'm just not getting why you would consider NOT sitting her at the head table. He is bringing her as his guest, just like the other bridal party members are bringing their guests.

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

Would you consider having a sweetheart table for just you and FI. Then a table of the BMs and dates and another table of GMs and dates. That way your concern about mom sticking out at the head table would be alleviated?

erinlin25 · February 2014

OliveOilsMom said:

Would you consider having a sweetheart table for just you and FI. Then a table of the BMs and dates and another table of GMs and dates. That way your concern about mom sticking out at the head table would be alleviated?

this would be my suggestion as well. we did a sweetheart table but put the two wedding party tables up front on each side of our table, so wedding party sat comfortably with their SO's/kids but were still close to us. But definitely talk to GM and see what he would prefer. If he is comfortable bringing his mom to begin with then I'm sure he would prefer to sit with her so she is not left out. It is one thing when a couples sit with "strangers" but at least they have their SO. It would be more awkward for her to sit by herself.

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

OliveOilsMom said:
Would you consider having a sweetheart table for just you and FI. Then a table of the BMs and dates and another table of GMs and dates. That way your concern about mom sticking out at the head table would be alleviated?
I will plan for thrre of the closest round guest tables to be for the bridal party - we wanted long rectangular tables on either side because of bridal party numbers, but I agree with you that it would be less "out there" if they matched tables with the guests. We maybe would have to sit guests at the table with some bridal party due to numbes - we have 11 for the "girls side" and 10 for the guys - and we are seating 8 per table.

ashleyep · February 2014

I don't think it's anymore awkward than if he brought a girl he just started seeing or a random friend. One of my bridesmaids joked that if her boyfriend couldn't make it (he lives in Canada) that she would bring her mom. I told her to do it! I love her mom!

At another wedding I went to one of the guests brought her mom as her date as well.

But in both of those cases the mom knew the bride.

Jen4948 · February 2014

I suspect that one of the guys my BF wants as a groomsman would bring his mother if given a plus one. He brings her to lots of things. I myself don't want to invite her, and I don't think my BF does either, but this particular groomsman has a lot of issues...so we might have to bite that particular bullet in order to avoid other issues.

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