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Shower gifts!?

LAM524LAM524 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
edited February 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi all,

Its been a while since Ive been on but this question is a definite Knotties question! My bridesmaids are hosting a "couples" shower at our church, open to all our church family. We have no idea how many people will attend (there are about 600 members). It's a 2 hr event. This may be a really stupid question (one for which I thought I knew the answer until one of my BM's "corrected" me) but do we open gifts during the shower? I think so but my BM says no way! I'd appreciate your wisdom on this. I do not want to be rude in anyway.

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Re: Shower gifts!?

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    SKPMSKPM member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    Yes, typically the bride (& groom in the case of couples shower) opens gifts during the shower. People like to see you open their gift. It is appropriate to thank them in person and then send a written TY note.

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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    It has been a while since you posted! 

    Yes, you should open all of the gifts at the shower in front of the guests. And DEFINITELY make sure someone is keeping a good list of who gave you what so you can write the thank-you notes!


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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    antotoantoto member
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    You should let your friend know that showers are really sort of about the presents, as tacky as she may find that.  You can look up "bridal shower" on wikipedia and it says it right there :)  There is no shame in making a big deal out of the gifts - quite the opposite.  
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    Teddy917Teddy917 member
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    scribe95 said:

    Definitely open them in front of your guests. That is kinda the point of a shower. Alsok, are all these people invited ot the wedding?

    In this case,since it's a church shower, they don't have to be invited to the wedding.
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    LAM524LAM524 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    Thank you everyone! I knew my BM's advice didn't sound right! Im curious to know why she would even think it is not right to open gifts in front of the gift givers.

    @Teddy917...thank you. We were relieved that we didnt have to invite all to wedding. He are marrying at a resort but after the honeymoon we are doing a "blessing of the marriage" at church which makes me feel better about even accepting gifts from the church family. :)

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    LowerEastSiiideLowerEastSiiide member
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    LAM2228 said:

    Hi all,

    Its been a while since Ive been on but this question is a definite Knotties question! My bridesmaids are hosting a "couples" shower at our church, open to all our church family. We have no idea how many people will attend (there are about 600 members). It's a 2 hr event. This may be a really stupid question (one for which I thought I knew the answer until one of my BM's "corrected" me) but do we open gifts during the shower? I think so but my BM says no way! I'd appreciate your wisdom on this. I do not want to be rude in anyway.

    What's a "church family"? Just curious, I never heard that before
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    dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    LowerEastSiiide said:
    Hi all,

    Its been a while since Ive been on but this question is a definite Knotties question! My bridesmaids are hosting a "couples" shower at our church, open to all our church family. We have no idea how many people will attend (there are about 600 members). It's a 2 hr event. This may be a really stupid question (one for which I thought I knew the answer until one of my BM's "corrected" me) but do we open gifts during the shower? I think so but my BM says no way! I'd appreciate your wisdom on this. I do not want to be rude in anyway.
    What's a "church family"? Just curious, I never heard that before
    I know for me, it's all the people that have been a member of the church I grew up in. They helped grow your spiritual relationship, and in some cases are "just like family". Older church members often see children grow up in the church to see even their children be blessed into the church. LAM2228 probably has been going to her church for quite some time to have that many want to show their love and support :) 


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    InkdancerInkdancer member
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    LowerEastSiiide said:
    Hi all,

    Its been a while since Ive been on but this question is a definite Knotties question! My bridesmaids are hosting a "couples" shower at our church, open to all our church family. We have no idea how many people will attend (there are about 600 members). It's a 2 hr event. This may be a really stupid question (one for which I thought I knew the answer until one of my BM's "corrected" me) but do we open gifts during the shower? I think so but my BM says no way! I'd appreciate your wisdom on this. I do not want to be rude in anyway.
    What's a "church family"? Just curious, I never heard that before
    The people you go to church with. Some people call them family because their experience of faith has brought them all very close together.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    LAM524LAM524 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm sorry, I didnt see this until now. Yes, as everyone previously said, "church family" is my fellow church members.
    shannonmaya said:
    LowerEastSiiide said:
    Hi all,

    Its been a while since Ive been on but this question is a definite Knotties question! My bridesmaids are hosting a "couples" shower at our church, open to all our church family. We have no idea how many people will attend (there are about 600 members). It's a 2 hr event. This may be a really stupid question (one for which I thought I knew the answer until one of my BM's "corrected" me) but do we open gifts during the shower? I think so but my BM says no way! I'd appreciate your wisdom on this. I do not want to be rude in anyway.
    What's a "church family"? Just curious, I never heard that before
    I know for me, it's all the people that have been a member of the church I grew up in. They helped grow your spiritual relationship, and in some cases are "just like family". Older church members often see children grow up in the church to see even their children be blessed into the church. LAM2228 probably has been going to her church for quite some time to have that many want to show their love and support :) 
    :) I've only been attending this church for about 4 years but my fiance is the Worship Pastor. I'd love to think I stand on my own with everyone but he is "their" Pastor and I'm thinking that the their show of love and support may have much to do with his leadership role. Which is wonderful in and of itself. Actually, the BM's were planning a "bride only" shower so I had requested a "couples" shower. He is always "working" when at church and doesn't get much opportunity to "relax" and socialize. I thought it would be a great opportunity for him to be able to celebrate and receive everyone's well wishes. :) I'm actually very nervous. I have about 2 weeks to snap out of it! :/

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Teddy917 said:
    Definitely open them in front of your guests. That is kinda the point of a shower. Alsok, are all these people invited ot the wedding?
    In this case,since it's a church shower, they don't have to be invited to the wedding.
    That's when the church members or co-workers throw it.  Since the WP is throwing it, it's a normal shower.  
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:


    Teddy917 said:

    scribe95 said:

    Definitely open them in front of your guests. That is kinda the point of a shower. Alsok, are all these people invited ot the wedding?

    In this case,since it's a church shower, they don't have to be invited to the wedding.

    That's when the church members or co-workers throw it.  Since the WP is throwing it, it's a normal shower.  

    This. OP this is not a church shower this is a regular couples shower so it really shouldn't be an open door invite. I understand that everyone wants to celebrate both you and your FI but the guest list really needs to be controlled so that only people who are invited to the wedding are also invited to this.

    An yes you should always open the gifts at the shower.

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    LAM524LAM524 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm sorry I should have been more clear. The "church" is throwing it. My BM's are also church members. So they are basically stepping up as leaders/organizers so I have a tendency to say they are hosting. As far as containing the guest list, it was announced in the church bulletin with an RSVP request to the church office.

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    A shower is thrown for the purpose of giving the honoree gifts, so not opening them at the shower is a serious faux pas.
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    monkeysipmonkeysip member
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    It's possible if there are really hundreds of people there that some people might request you to just open theirs later.  But just operate like a normal shower and open then all unless someone requests otherwise.

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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2014
    monkeysip said:
    It's possible if there are really hundreds of people there that some people might request you to just open theirs later.  But just operate like a normal shower and open then all unless someone requests otherwise.
    My cousin and his wife recently had a church baby shower where 40 people or so showed up. They didn't announce that they were opening gifts but after eating and a couple games and stuff, they sat down near the gift table and started opening the gifts. They didn't make a big announcement so no one felt like they "had" to watch the opening.  Rather, people could watch if they wanted or go up and chat with the parents-to-be or chat with other guests while the gifts were opened.

    I really liked it, especially with the number of people there. I think something like this would work really well with a larger shower.
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    LAM524LAM524 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    @lovesclimbing thank you! I really like this approach!


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