Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid Dress question...

Hello everyone, 
This one is actually not for me but rather a friend who has run into a situation. A friend of mine is a bridesmaid for a friend of hers and has run into, well an issue that she would like to have some advice on.  
She is in a wedding that has six BM They all had a deadline of ordering their dresses a little over a month ago. Well two of the the girls got their orders in pretty quick. (From my understanding the style kept changing and changing again, so that was the reason no one put their deposits down. When the decision was finally made, the dresses turned out being on the expensive side. I'm gathering that there was a chunk of money due for a deposit that some BM were not expecting.) Now the deadline has passed for the dresses to be ordered/made/shipped/altered on time and my friend is in panic mode. She and another MB have purchased their dresses but none of the other girls have. She would like to know what is the protocol? If the bride goes with another dress bc the orders were put in late, should she pay for the two that did order in time? I've never been in this situation so I am not sure of the protocol. She doesn't want to make waves but will not have an expensive dress she won't be wearing on top of another dress she won't be wearing again. Those are all the details I know, but I told her I would ask. 

Thanks! 
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Re: Bridesmaid Dress question...

  • cruffinocruffino member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Beth5246 said:
    Hello everyone, 
    This one is actually not for me but rather a friend who has run into a situation. A friend of mine is a bridesmaid for a friend of hers and has run into, well an issue that she would like to have some advice on.  
    She is in a wedding that has six BM They all had a deadline of ordering their dresses a little over a month ago. Well two of the the girls got their orders in pretty quick. (From my understanding the style kept changing and changing again, so that was the reason no one put their deposits down. When the decision was finally made, the dresses turned out being on the expensive side. I'm gathering that there was a chunk of money due for a deposit that some BM were not expecting.) Now the deadline has passed for the dresses to be ordered/made/shipped/altered on time and my friend is in panic mode. She and another MB have purchased their dresses but none of the other girls have. She would like to know what is the protocol? If the bride goes with another dress bc the orders were put in late, should she pay for the two that did order in time? I've never been in this situation so I am not sure of the protocol. She doesn't want to make waves but will not have an expensive dress she won't be wearing on top of another dress she won't be wearing again. Those are all the details I know, but I told her I would ask. 

    Thanks! 
    i would definitely not pay for a second dress. the bride should have had a conversation with each BM about their budget long ago. that ship has sailed. 

    if the other girls can't get the same exact dress, the bride can choose another dress in the same fabric and color and length and they can get that. this way the girls will coordinate. but waste money on another BM dress....aw hell no. 
  • I asked about the budgeting thing but she just said she wasn't sure about the other girls' situations. I would have thought that would have come up and that everyone would have been in agreement with the dresses. (But you never know with some people. From what it sounds like, the newest design was more expensive than what was planned) I wasn't sure if this was a common thing, with girls ordering their dresses late. I told her I wouldn't buy another dress. The dress I paid for would be the one I would be wearing to the wedding and if the bride "had" to have everyone in the same dress, she could pay for it. It just got me thinking if this happens more often than I thought. 
    image
  • If I was your friend I would not be purchasing another dress.  If the bride decides to go with a different dress then the bride should foot the bill for that dress and reimburse the two girls for the dress that they bought and are now not going to wear.

    Sounds like the bride royally screwed up by not only changing her mind over and over again but then picking a dress that was more expensive then what was first discussed.

    At this point I would tell your friend to plan on wearing the dress she ordered until the bride decides on what they hell she wants to do.  But your friend should not be stressing because at least she has a dress.

  • Your friend bought her dress. If the bride decides to go with a different dress, she should reimburse your friend and the other bm that ordered in a timely manner. 
                       
  • Beth5246 said:

    I asked about the budgeting thing but she just said she wasn't sure about the other girls' situations. I would
    have thought that would have come up and that everyone would have been in agreement with the dresses. (But you never know with some people. From what it sounds like, the newest design was more expensive than what was planned
    ) I wasn't sure if this was a common thing, with girls ordering their dresses late. I told her I wouldn't buy another dress. The dress I paid for would be the one I would be wearing to the wedding and if the bride "had" to have everyone in the same dress, she could pay for it. It just got me thinking if this happens more often than I thought. 

    She should have asked their budgets. Yeah, she probably wasn't sure about the BMs' situations; that's why you ask. It probably didn't come up because most people don't want to admit they can't afford something in front of others.
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