Wedding Reception Forum

Eloping, Reception a few months after

Hello!

My fiance and i come from previous marriages, so we have decided to elope, just the two of us.  We don't want to totally leave out friends and family out of our special occasion, so we have decided to have a reception later.  What are some do's and don'ts when it comes to this?  I'm also lost on what to do about invites to the reception.

We are having an elegant farm reception, but mostly all DIY, on a strict budget. (My fiance calls it a hillbilly recpetion).  lol

Suggestions are needed!!!  

Only think i know he wants is a pig roast!

Re: Eloping, Reception a few months after

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Hello!

    My fiance and i come from previous marriages, so we have decided to elope, just the two of us.  We don't want to totally leave out friends and family out of our special occasion, so we have decided to have a reception later.  What are some do's and don'ts when it comes to this?  I'm also lost on what to do about invites to the reception.

    We are having an elegant farm reception, but mostly all DIY, on a strict budget. (My fiance calls it a hillbilly recpetion).  lol

    Suggestions are needed!!!  

    Only think i know he wants is a pig roast!
    Don't invite friends and family to your "wedding reception."
    Do invite them to a "celebration of the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. SpunkyCain!"

    Don't recite vows, have a bridal party, wear your wedding dress,* do spotlight dances, have a garter/bouquet toss.
    Do have a kickass party, hire a DJ if you would like to, have dancing, have an awesome cake and cut it.
    *Since bridal gowns can be so effing pricey I am on the fence about wearing them again, but many here would say not to do it.

    Don't have a potluck event.
    Do properly host your guests- food and drinks, including alcohol if you can afford it.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    KatWAGJen4948SpunkyCainlc07
  • As a guest I honestly wouldn't care if you called it a reception, did a first dance/cake cutting, or wore your dress. But that's just me. As long as there's good and music, I'm down to celebrate whatever you want to call whatever you're having! I know most of the posters on here are totally against this, mainly if you lie to your guests about when you actually got married. Don't do that.
    SpunkyCain
  • I agree with PP as far as etiquette.  From a guest standpoint I would find it very strange if you wore your dress, had a first dance etc.  I think having a party (call it a reception or whatever you want) is a great idea but it is a party, not a wedding.  I would love to celebrate your marriage just as long as you weren't recreating a wedding, and this goes beyond the ceremony because first dances and wedding dresses are reserved for weddings.  It would just not feel as special if you wore your dress and had the first dance and other traditional wedding things.  Do have cake though, who doesn't love cake.  Just not a wedding cake and no ceremonial cake cutting because that would again be recreating a wedding.  And do not, I repeat DO NOT, lie to your guests, they MUST know you are already married.  
    PrettyGirlLostCMGragainSpunkyCain
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Absolute musts: Don't lie to your guests, re-enact the ceremony, or call your party a "wedding reception."

    I'd also suggest not doing a "cake cutting," not having a gift registry, showers, or bachelor/ette parties, not doing spotlight dances, and not wearing a wedding outfit.  By choosing to elope, I think you also choose to forgo many of the traditional trappings of a wedding.
    PrettyGirlLostCMGragainSpunkyCain
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2014
    Hello!

    My fiance and i come from previous marriages, so we have decided to elope, just the two of us.  We don't want to totally leave out friends and family out of our special occasion, so we have decided to have a reception later.  What are some do's and don'ts when it comes to this?  I'm also lost on what to do about invites to the reception.

    We are having an elegant farm reception, but mostly all DIY, on a strict budget. (My fiance calls it a hillbilly recpetion).  lol

    Suggestions are needed!!!  

    Only think i know he wants is a pig roast!


    Elopements do not have wedding receptions.  Period!  You chose to elope, so you gave that up.  You may have a party any time.  Invite your friends and family to a pig roast.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Man CMG, you are harsh! 

    Excuse me for calling it a reception, obviously i was asking for that reason.  I will have a special dress to wear to my "Celebration", and a different dress for when i say "I do"

    We will dance

    We will not have a photographer

    We will have a DJ

    We will not do toasts

    We will have no flower tossing/garter throwing

    No bridal party

    My daughter will wear a cute/special dress, but not a flower girl dress

    We will have food, maybe catered, maybe not

    Everyone knows we are getting married this summer, very few know the date, as we have decided to keep the date a secret, UNTIL it happens, than it will no longer be a secret.  Everyone knows we are eloping.

  • SpunkyCainSpunkyCain member
    Fourth Anniversary First Comment
    edited February 2014
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited February 2014

    Man CMG, you are harsh! 

    Excuse me for calling it a reception, obviously i was asking for that reason.  I will have a special dress to wear to my "Celebration", and a different dress for when i say "I do"

    We will dance

    We will not have a photographer

    We will have a DJ

    We will not do toasts

    We will have no flower tossing/garter throwing

    No bridal party

    My daughter will wear a cute/special dress, but not a flower girl dress

    We will have food, maybe catered, maybe not

    Everyone knows we are getting married this summer, very few know the date, as we have decided to keep the date a secret, UNTIL it happens, than it will no longer be a secret.  Everyone knows we are eloping.


    Why do you need to keep it a secret if you are going to invite everyone?  That's what nobody gets.

    Coming from previous marriages does not mean you have to have a secret wedding.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2014
    A destination wedding is not the same as an elopement.  Most of the women in my family have eloped, so I am very familiar with the custom.  It is not necessarily secret.  It just means that the bride and groom are going off on their own to get married.  Often family knows about it, but not always.  There are no guests.
    A destination wedding is a very new idea, courtesy of the wedding industry.  It means that the wedding party (Yes, you can have one!) and guests all travel to a destination for both the ceremony and the reception, held immediately after the ceremony.
    You will see many posts on the Knot about later celebrations after both DWs and elopements, but neither of them are wedding receptions.   So many people want to have it both ways. 
    I am sorry if my blunt post upset you, but I can only respond to what you, yourself, posted.  Your plans sound fine.  Just don't call it a wedding reception.  Nothing wrong with a good pig roast.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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