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FI's found another apartment *Semi-WR Semi-VENT*

KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
in Chit Chat
Less than 1km away from work. He could cycle to work, which he's quite excited about. Also it's in a good area.
It's got 3 bedrooms, which means that unless the rooms are even smaller than at our last place (which I'm pretty sure is impossible) it should be able to hold all our stuff.
He's going to view tomorrow.

BUT it's expensive... Like, really expensive. I'll be lucky if I have R300 (about $30) left for the month after paying bills and living expenses. And that's assuming FI cycles to work and only uses the car when he needs to get groceries. Which means I won't be able to save as much as I have been, which means we would definitely have to postpone the wedding.

I'm really torn about this. On one hand, I want to get out into my own space again. Living with parents is hard when you're used to living by your own rules. And I'm not gonna lie, I miss sex. We've been here 9 months. I could've had a baby in the time we've been living here, when we were only supposed to be here a couple of weeks. Obviously it's not the FILs fault (or ours) that our original rental fell through, but it is annoying and difficult and crowded in the house.

On the other hand, IF we can hang on another 3 months and IF FMIL's friend's house doesn't sell between now and then (which I doubt it will because I think they've seriously overpriced it for what it is), we have a place at half what this one is. I can't help thinking that we can find something cheaper that will still let us keep the date we've chosen.

Basically, if we take the flat, then between now and September I'll have been able to put into the wedding fund what I'm currently able to put into it in a single month (because while we're living with the FILs, all our living expenses come out of FI's salary, and I just pay bills and incidentals).

Part of me is really stubborn and just doesn't want to postpone the wedding because FMIL's been pushing for it since before we even set the date.

Bleh.
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Re: FI's found another apartment *Semi-WR Semi-VENT*

  • audubonbride2013audubonbride2013 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Personally I would not be comfortable with only $30 wiggle room in my budget.  I can't imagine living that long with my ILs either though.  I would probably look for a cheaper, smaller place where I could keep saving for the wedding without continuing to live with my ILs.  

    FWIW I am pretty cheap.  My H and I currently live in a 1 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment while we're saving to buy a house next year.
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I know you guys want to get out of there but going into a place that will make you "house poor' sounds like terrible idea. You'd be trading one stress for another. Sorry, I know it's sucks.
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  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. There are cheaper places, but not that will allow us to take our cats with us.

    Being a grown-up is hard you guys!
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    yikes! This sounds like a tough decision. But ditto PPs- 30 bucks isn't enough wiggle room for me to be comfortable with.

    Good luck!
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  • AprilH81AprilH81 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    That $30 would get sucked up really fast with a minor fluctuation in your power or gas bill.  I wouldn't do it.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Please don't do it. It's so much stress. I'd be so worried with only $30 wiggle room.

    And don't postpone the wedding.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • pumpkinsandturkeyspumpkinsandturkeys member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with all of the above -- that's not a lot of room to breathe financially at ALL. If anything unexpected comes your way, you likely won't have the funds you need to handle it (ie: car repairs, an illness, something over-budget with the wedding you didn't expect...).

    I know it's difficult, but you'll find another place. Are you dead-set on renting, or is buying an option? I'm not sure how things are in SA, but I know that in the US and Canada, there are houses and condos available whose mortgages work out to about the same per month as rent. And then you're not subject to a landlord's rules, like not having cats. Yes, you do have to take on any maintenance yourself, but it does afford you more freedom. Just a thought.

    And definitely do not postpone the wedding. It's far enough in advance that you still have plenty of time to plan and prepare.


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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    as someone who had to live with their IL's for much longer than planned, I still say you would be better off holding out a bit longer to find a place you can afford. I agree that $30 wiggle room will not be a good position to be in.  Do you need a 3 bd?  Our parents kept telling us don't look at anything under a 3 bd/2ba you need the room for your future kids, blah blah blah.  But bottom line was we could not afford a 3bd/2ba and were very happy finding a 2/2 in our budget.  We love it and I must say not only is it wonderful being back on our own but we can comfortably pay our bills and still save some money.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    It's hard, but it probably makes more sense to hold out for something cheaper.  $30 wiggle room is just not enough.

    We went through something similar and ended up going for an expensive place just out of desperation.  I love where we live but I wish we had waited for something cheaper.  When I get my new job this fall, we are planning to stay in this same place instead of upgrading with my higher salary.  That way we'll be living below our means and have a lot of money to save for the wedding.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Like the PPs have said I would hold out for the time being.
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yea you have to account for an unexpected emergency. Definitely go for something cheaper. And what if you guys want to do something fun? I know it sucks living with parents, but you made it this far. Might as well hold out. Right now, I think that I am personally on a tight budget with the wedding. I make a good salary but I have student loans and a lot of bills (recovering shopaholic here), and after paying everything each check and putting money into savings i personally feel that it's tough- and it's more than $30.

    As for the sex, get a little creative! Maybe try a new naughty spot ;)
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  • RWS2011RWS2011 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    As someone who has lived on a restrictive budget for years, I can tell you it is no fun having to turn down going out with friends, drinks, lunches, movies, etc., because there is no room in the budget for it.  My family is so tired of hearing me say, I can only afford $x for birthday or Christmas, so don't go overboard on my gift either.  (My sister will go overboard and expect, but not really, but really that I reciprocate).  I know it is frustrating having to live with family as an adult, but this plan would be equally frustrating, and include a wedding postponement.  You will find something that works; just give it time!

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  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    UPDATE! Spoke to FI, we decided not to even bother with a viewing. We're just going to hold out and hope that something cheaper comes up soon. This is typically the time when people start changing jobs and such, so hopefully that'll mean more rentals freeing up. I'm okay with the FILs most days, but FMIL is getting tetchy about us having stayed so long, and her boss is getting annoyed because our stuff is still in storage on her farm when it was only supposed to be there a few weeks. Anyway... Thanks for your input everyone!

    @pumpkinsandturkeys - We're not SET on renting, we'd actually prefer to buy, but there's even less available to buy in our price range than there is to rent. There are no condos in small town SA, sadly, and even a 1 bed house here goes for 2x-3x our max loan amount. We've been looking at neighbouring towns that would still be driveable for FI to get to work, but the only listing that's come up so far in our budget was a serious fixer-upper. As in structural damage, weak foundations, mould everywhere, and a bee infestation. It was at the top end of our budget, and we wouldn't be approved for a building loan for the reno work. We're keeping our eyes open for anything that may be even a possibility.

    @erinlin25 - We'd be happy with a 1 bed as long as the living room was big enough for me to set up my office in it as well. I work from home, so it's really important that I have a work space that isn't in the bedroom, otherwise I never stop working. Anyway, it just so happened that all the pet-friendly listings this week were 3 beds. There are a couple of other listings we're looking into, but FI's having trouble getting hold of the agents/landlords. Because nobody in this godforsaken town uses email. GAH! We do have the option of leaving the cats here with the FILs but I would rather not leave my babies behind.

    @pinkcow13 - This is the other thing that was bothering me. $30 is not enough to get me home to my family if there's an emergency. Sure, I always have money on my credit card which would more than cover it, but my credit card is there so I can go to the doctor if I need to, because I don't have medical coverage.

    @RWS2011 - We aren't really worried about having to turn down friends, because we don't really have any friends in the area. There really aren't all that many young people around here, so we never hang out with anyone anyway. Also there really isn't anything to do here unless you're into archery and horse-riding. The nearest cinema is 3 hours away, there aren't any arcades, ice rinks, bowling alleys... Which is probably why all the teenagers leave as soon as they've finished high school. We sometimes have dinner, just the two of us, but that would fall away if we had decided to take this place, purely because the only place we like to go for dinner is here and not in the town where FI works. And we're really not much of a gifting family - we usually do Secret Santa with a very low budget. BUT it's moot point because we're going to look for a cheaper place anyway.
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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I know that I don't know the whole story, but if the area is that bad, why not move?  You say the area is HCOL, no young people, far from your family....  You work from home, so maybe have FI look for a new job instead of an apartment?  It sounds like a lonely life there to me....
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