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Krist and Nickolis Wedding Venue Q -

krisandnick12514krisandnick12514 member
First Comment
edited February 2014 in Wedding Woes
Sorry I posted twice. Was trying to figure it out (I'm new - jeez give me a break - DONT KNOW WHAT DD EVEN MEANS!!!) Please find original below. 


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Re: Krist and Nickolis Wedding Venue Q -

  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would have a talk with my mom and tell her that Fmil wants to be involved and you don't want to cut her out.  But I would also pick a few things for her, she doesn't have to come to every single vendor appointment.  Explain to you FI that you want his mom involved but some things that your parents are paying for they want to have the final decision on.  You can include her in lots of stuff, just make sure your firm with your mom and let her know its going to happen.  You need to make sure about strings right at the beginning with your mom, if its going to be her way and not include FI and his family then you need to nicely decline and pay for the wedding you can afford.
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited February 2014


    So today is one day away from two weeks that I have been engaged and I already ran into issue. My parents have decided that they are going to pay for just about the whole wedding if we can come in at the budget they have set for us which is enough to pay for everything! My finance and I are really excited about this and cant thank them enough. The only issue is my fiance is a mommas boy and when his brother got married they really didn't include his mom in anything which caused a lot of tension in the family and quite frankly caused his mom to constantly talk about my future sister in law to me. Therefore we want to make sure we include his mother in the wedding planning so she doesn't feel the same way she did with his brothers wedding. So I made some appointments to go look at venues for our reception the first one is in 3 days. I called my mom today and said I spoke to someone and they asked me budget and I got really frazzled, I don't know how to negotiate or really answer there questions and I said to my mom it might be best if someone came with us and I said you and my finaces mom could come because I am nervous about not having answers or knowing what to say when it comes to budget. When I used the word finaces mom she flipped out. She doesn't want nicks mom coming to look at venues AT ALL. Now I see her point shes paying why would his mom come, but we do want to include her and I already know what my finance is going to say when I tell him I don't want his mom coming to ANY of the venues to LOOK. My mom thinks that no matter whether we say shes not paying for the wedding that they will talk price with her as if she is. My finace thinks his mom is holier then god and this is going to be a fight to the finish and I don't want to blame this on my mom so I am going to say this is what I want. Now I am looking like the bad guy and I am caught in the middle. This has just begun and I am already having issues and I just want everyone to be happy. Please someone help me come up with a solution that will make both parents and my finance happy so I wont have a breakdown in the process!!


    Just so this is on record. 

    Let's see how being a doormat and attached to a momma's boy works for you.
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    So sad she DDed both of her posts...looks like someone is a troll!
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  • krisandnick12514krisandnick12514 member
    First Comment
    That's really mean. Let's see how being a bully works for you.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    krisandnick12514 said:
    That's really mean. Let's see how being a bully works for you.
    Dafuq?
    �
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    krisandnick12514 said:
    That's really mean. Let's see how being a bully works for you.
    I'm confused.  Nobody was mean.

    You ARE being a doormat and if you set a precedent during wedding planning that your FMIL comes before you, FMIL is going to be butting into your lives in the future as well.  You and Fi need to have a talk about the fact that you guys come first as a couple, BEFORE anybody's mom.

    Also it seems really unreasonable that your mom is so sensitive about Fi's mom being involved in anything.  If those are the strings attached to her money, maybe you and Fi should gracefully turn down her offer of money and just plan the wedding you can afford without her.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • misscoffeepleasemisscoffeeplease member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I just kept seeing the word "finance" and "finace".
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