FAQ

Re: FAQ

• MariaBend25 member

  

  November 2013

  I disagree with #6, while that is an option waiting isn't necessarily wrong. I think the thank-you notes can all go out after the wedding, especially when most brides wait to order thank-you notes that are personalized with a wedding picture ect. As long as a proper thank-you is sent I think you are covered. And, as long as they are sent promptly after the wedding, within 2-3 months, that is fine. What is unacceptabe is waiting to send Christmas cards as the thank-you, or baby announcements as a thank-you...which I have had happened to me. I personally only received early gifts from two people who lived too far to make the wedding, and I sent them thank-yous after the wedding expressing that I missed them and that I appreciate their thoughtfulness. If a gift is super early, perhaps sending a thank-you with the shower thank-you notes is more appropriate. Just keep track of who sent gifts.

  Report0 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  November 2013

  MariaBend25 said:

  I disagree with #6, while that is an option waiting isn't necessarily wrong. I think the thank-you notes can all go out after the wedding, especially when most brides wait to order thank-you notes that are personalized with a wedding picture ect. As long as a proper thank-you is sent I think you are covered. And, as long as they are sent promptly after the wedding, within 2-3 months, that is fine. What is unacceptabe is waiting to send Christmas cards as the thank-you, or baby announcements as a thank-you...which I have had happened to me. I personally only received early gifts from two people who lived too far to make the wedding, and I sent them thank-yous after the wedding expressing that I missed them and that I appreciate their thoughtfulness. If a gift is super early, perhaps sending a thank-you with the shower thank-you notes is more appropriate. Just keep track of who sent gifts.

  This is incorrect. A thank you note needs to be prompt and for the gift's occasion. A wedding gift should not be thanked with the shower gift even if both are before the wedding.
  
  If a wedding gift arrives before the wedding, the thank you note should be sent before the wedding. If that means going out and buying different thank you notes then that is the burden of receiving lovely gifts.

  Report10 Reply
• kns1988 member

  

  January 2014

  6. I received a gift early, what do I do?  If you receive a gift before the shower or wedding, open it and send a thank you note right away.  Don’t use the gift until after the wedding.
  

  
  

  Does the highlighted portion apply to engagement gifts?  My grandmother sent us a gift to congratulate us on our engagement.

  Report0 Reply
• OliveOilsMom member

  

  January 2014

  kns1988 said:

  6. I received a gift early, what do I do?  If you receive a gift before the shower or wedding, open it and send a thank you note right away.  Don’t use the gift until after the wedding.
  

  
  

  Does the highlighted portion apply to engagement gifts?  My grandmother sent us a gift to congratulate us on our engagement.

  Yes, unless the gift given is to be used during the wedding, ie, toasting flutes or cake server, etc.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• kns1988 member

  

  January 2014

  Great, thank you. I hadn't used them yet because I wasn't sure. I'm glad I didn't.

  Report0 Reply
• craigomander member

  

  February 2014

  While I understand that #8 is probably being asked by people who are trying to cut costs/corners, it's not always possible, so people shouldn't necessarily be made to feel rude! In my city (and possibly others), if you choose to be married in one of the public parks, depending on the location you are restricted to 6-15 chairs (reserved for people who cannot stand) and otherwise, it must be a "standing ceremony." I would assume that wedding permits on some public beaches state similar rules.

  Report1 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  February 2014

  banana468 said:

  I disagree with #6, while that is an option waiting isn't necessarily wrong. I think the thank-you notes can all go out after the wedding, especially when most brides wait to order thank-you notes that are personalized with a wedding picture ect. As long as a proper thank-you is sent I think you are covered. And, as long as they are sent promptly after the wedding, within 2-3 months, that is fine. What is unacceptabe is waiting to send Christmas cards as the thank-you, or baby announcements as a thank-you...which I have had happened to me. I personally only received early gifts from two people who lived too far to make the wedding, and I sent them thank-yous after the wedding expressing that I missed them and that I appreciate their thoughtfulness. If a gift is super early, perhaps sending a thank-you with the shower thank-you notes is more appropriate. Just keep track of who sent gifts.

  This is incorrect. A thank you note needs to be prompt and for the gift's occasion. A wedding gift should not be thanked with the shower gift even if both are before the wedding. If a wedding gift arrives before the wedding, the thank you note should be sent before the wedding. If that means going out and buying different thank you notes then that is the burden of receiving lovely gifts.

  In addition to that clear and accurate information, I will add the following......

  
  

  More often than not, if a bride receives an early gift, my guess is that this gift has been shipped to your home.  The timeliness of sending the thank you note becomes even more imperative as the gift sender needs to know their gift arrived to you in a timely manner.

  Report3 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  craigomander said: While I understand that #8 is probably being asked by people who are trying to cut costs/corners, it's not always possible, so people shouldn't necessarily be made to feel rude! In my city (and possibly others), if you choose to be married in one of the public parks, depending on the location you are restricted to 6-15 chairs (reserved for people who cannot stand) and otherwise, it must be a "standing ceremony." I would assume that wedding permits on some public beaches state similar rules.
  
  
  I think anyone that would knowingly put the comfort of their guests second to a ceremony venue is being incredibly impolite.  You have a choice to make your guests comfort a priority.  Out of respect to the wedding couple, guests will make all attempts to arrive to the ceremony early. Forcing guests to stand while waiting for a ceremony to begin, and then forcing them to stand during your ceremony, is wrong.  

  Report6 Reply
• JCbride2015 member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  mobkaz said:

  craigomander said:

  While I understand that #8 is probably being asked by people who are trying to cut costs/corners, it's not always possible, so people shouldn't necessarily be made to feel rude! In my city (and possibly others), if you choose to be married in one of the public parks, depending on the location you are restricted to 6-15 chairs (reserved for people who cannot stand) and otherwise, it must be a "standing ceremony." I would assume that wedding permits on some public beaches state similar rules.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I think anyone that would knowingly put the comfort of their guests second to a ceremony venue is being incredibly impolite.  You have a choice to make your guests comfort a priority.  Out of respect to the wedding couple, guests will make all attempts to arrive to the ceremony early. Forcing guests to stand while waiting for a ceremony to begin, and then forcing them to stand during your ceremony, is wrong.  

  ------------- ETA box

  
  

  Yep.  Any couple choosing a venue (like a park) that has a chair limit, is choosing the pretty venue over the comfort of their guests.  Not okay.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• WildMagelet member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  
  craigomander said:

  While I understand that #8 is probably being asked by people who are trying to cut costs/corners, it's not always possible, so people shouldn't necessarily be made to feel rude! In my city (and possibly others), if you choose to be married in one of the public parks, depending on the location you are restricted to 6-15 chairs (reserved for people who cannot stand) and otherwise, it must be a "standing ceremony." I would assume that wedding permits on some public beaches state similar rules.

  There is a beautiful city park with a botanical garden near me that I would have loved to use as a ceremony location.  They do not allow chairs of any kind.  We are not using them.

  
  

  Pretty photo backdrop does not trump guest comfort.  Choose to have the ceremony somewhere with chairs and just take pictures in front of the pretty backdrop instead.

  Formerly known as flutterbride2b

  
  

  Report2 Reply
• craigomander member

  

  February 2014

  i guess i was thinking of parks & beaches more in the context of "a venue that is still pretty but less expensive as it's public property" for the sake of throwing a wedding you can afford, not disregarding the comfort of your guests. thanks for the thoughts, everyone.

  Report0 Reply
• themuffinman16 member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  I have a bad back, and at my FSIL's wedding, she had 100 guests show up to her ceremony and only 40 chairs.  Over 40 chairs, there was an extra chair fee, so they tried to save money and had no extra chairs.  I did not know this and wore heels.  Heels+ Grass+ Standing the whole time= being laid up for four days after the wedding. And I am young.  I would never kick a noticeably disabled person or an elderly person from their seats.  Back problems have the joy of making you look fine, when you feel like hell.  No one understands why a 34 year old woman needs to sit down. If there were enough chairs, I wouldn't have been put in that situation.

  Report0 Reply
• Knope2014 member

  

  February 2014

  themuffinman16 said:

  I have a bad back, and at my FSIL's wedding, she had 100 guests show up to her ceremony and only 40 chairs.  Over 40 chairs, there was an extra chair fee, so they tried to save money and had no extra chairs.  I did not know this and wore heels.  Heels+ Grass+ Standing the whole time= being laid up for four days after the wedding. And I am young.  I would never kick a noticeably disabled person or an elderly person from their seats.  Back problems have the joy of making you look fine, when you feel like hell.  No one understands why a 34 year old woman needs to sit down. If there were enough chairs, I wouldn't have been put in that situation.

  This, 100%.  I'm 24 and have severe arthritis in my right knee.  If I stand for more than twenty minutes my knee swells and the next few days are miserable.  There's no feeling like being my age and sitting when an elderly person has to stand.

  Report1 Reply
• antoto member

  

  February 2014

  themuffinman16 said:

  I have a bad back, and at my FSIL's wedding, she had 100 guests show up to her ceremony and only 40 chairs.  Over 40 chairs, there was an extra chair fee, so they tried to save money and had no extra chairs.  I did not know this and wore heels.  Heels+ Grass+ Standing the whole time= being laid up for four days after the wedding. And I am young.  I would never kick a noticeably disabled person or an elderly person from their seats.  Back problems have the joy of making you look fine, when you feel like hell.  No one understands why a 34 year old woman needs to sit down. If there were enough chairs, I wouldn't have been put in that situation.

  TOTALLY rude on their part to not have enough seats.  If you can't afford seats for every butt, invite less butts.

  
  

  That being said... if you have back issues then why on Earth were you wearing heels??? lol

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2014

  I'm just curious...why are these questions being asked in a general sticky rather than in their own threads?
  

  Report0 Reply
• themuffinman16 member

  

  February 2014

  Because They look nice with the dress, had I known I was going to be on my feet the whole time, I would not have worn heels.  I wear heels, out to dinner, at my desk, and anywhere I will be seated for the majority of the time.  When I know I will be standing, doing something rigorous, or walking on uneven terrain, I wear flats or sneakers.  I thought I was safe at a wedding since I try to avoid the dance floor.

  Report0 Reply
• JoanE2012 member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  Jen4948 said:

  I'm just curious...why are these questions being asked in a general sticky rather than in their own threads?
  

  Because the questions all point back to one of the items listed in the FAQ originally posted and the sticky is not a closed post.  I agree though, questions really should be started in a new thread!

  Report0 Reply
• michyrookie325 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• jenndeirdre member

  

  May 2014

  This might be something just where I am from but I always see people being invited to just the dance, I've been numerous times, or the Facebook groups for the wedding dance. Weddings I've been to I've seen people just coming at the dance never considered it a bad thing. My boyfriend has already said it a few times to invite some to the dance part, I don't have enough people to invite to the reception to even worry about the extras.

  Report0 Reply
• Inkdancer member

  

  May 2014

  jenndeirdre said:

  This might be something just where I am from but I always see people being invited to just the dance, I've been numerous times, or the Facebook groups for the wedding dance. Weddings I've been to I've seen people just coming at the dance never considered it a bad thing. My boyfriend has already said it a few times to invite some to the dance part, I don't have enough people to invite to the reception to even worry about the extras.

  The fact that it is common does not mean that it isn't rude.
  

  

  

  Report4 Reply