Snarky Brides

No Phone Number/Email

Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
Would you seriously consider inviting someone that you do not have a telephone number or email address for (or Facebook because they're older)?

I asked my FMIL to PLEASE find out the name of their guests' significant other - she finally said that she could not find out because she doesn't have their email address. Or phone number. Really? How do you communicate with these people???

(So now I am forced to be rude and put "And Guest" on the invite?)

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Re: No Phone Number/Email

  • Do you actually know that these guests have SOs?

    I'd be tempted to say, 'If you don't have a way to contact them, how important can they possibly be to you that you want them to be invited to the wedding?'

    And then give her the choice of either finding out their SOs' names so you can invite them properly or them not getting invited at all.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    zitiqueen
  • I get not knowing their email addresses, but phone numbers? How does your FMIL even know these people? Are they random co-workers or friends of their friends? I'm curious now.
    I agree, just let her know that you will not be sending any invitations to those you do not know the names of. It's a pretty simple request, you would think lol.
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Get ready - apparently it's her husband's cousin. And they don't know his significant other's last name.. OR his phone number, email address... /sigh. Guess I should send a note to the home address I was provided and hope it's correct!

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Does the cousin have parents they could get it from? I think it's ridiculous to invite people to your wedding if you have no contact info for them. If you have no way TO contact them, you clearly are not IN contact with them, and they are, therefore, not close enough to you to warrant an invitation. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    StephJean83RebeccaB88
  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    This is a 60-70 year old man we're talking about.

    I agree with you, too bad FMIL insists. And now she's saying just to invite the cousin but leave the SO off the invite. O.o

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  • IS FMIL paying? If not, just say they will not be invited.

    If so, I'd have FI say "We need the name by _____ date or we will not be inviting them." She can send them a letter if she needs to; I would not be doing it myself. 

    If you do not have contact info or names, it's not worth the invitation. She can't force you to be rude if she's unwilling to find out this person's name. SOMEONE must have a phone number. 
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    No, she's not paying. 

    I don't want to be thought of as rude by these people - so it sounds like somebody will just not get an invite! But if I sent them a Save the Date...? FML.

    I've been waiting over 3 months for this woman's name. Nobody has it.

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  • How did you send them a STDate if you don't have a name?

    Nevermind. Just address the invite the way you addressed the STDate. At this point, it would be ruder not to invite the people (who got an STDate) than it would be to address a long-term partner/SO as 'and guest.'

    Lesser of two rudenesses, I suppose.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What are you going to do if they don't RSVP and you have to contact them?
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks.

    My FMIL is secretly a cold evil snow queen.. or something. I had no idea when I sent this man a STD that he had a significant other. FMIL added "her" to the list later on. I feel like picking the lesser of two rudenesses is the story of my wedding so far. And it's because of her.

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  • They should find out a phone number from other people, or send them a letter the old-fashioned way asking for the name if they really want the people invited. Or if it's local, maybe they could stop by? SOMEONE in the family must know the name, or if not the name, at least a phone number!
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Damn. Can you maybe try googling his name to see if you can find a phone number?

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