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Etiquette

Which date is better for guests?

We are planning a Jewish wedding for Summer 2015 and we have some limitations due to the Jewish calendar and when we are able to be married. Fridays and Saturdays are pretty much out due to Shabbat and some other dates are out because of holidays and such. The two dates we like right now are both around holiday weekends and our catering hall is available both dates. Thursday July 2nd 2015 (4th of July weekend) or Sunday September 6th 2015 (Labor Day Weekend) All of our VIPs say that either date is fine with them, so as a guest what do you think is better? We will be serving BBQ food, like a summer BBQ/Picnic type of theme, although the venue is indoors and will be air conditioned. I don't know if this makes a difference but we live across the country from all of our family and friends and we will be having the wedding local to them, so they don't have to travel. Let me know what you think or if you need more info. Thanks!

Re: Which date is better for guests?

  • Sorry, my paragraphs deleted when I posted :(
  • I would assume Sunday September 6th because they have off that day.  
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
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    Personally, I think Labor Day weekend would be better.  A lot of people are already in school by then these days, so they don't travel as much that weekend.  If anything, people I know may cook out or something, but nothing major.  Plus, Sunday is a better day of week, since most people don't need to take off work or rush home to change in time for the wedding.

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  • I would say September 6th since most people will have the next day off (l would). Many guests would have to take time off work to attend a Thursday wedding.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    Sunday. Many people will have to work on both the 2nd and 3rd of July so you will most likely get a lower attendance on that Thursday since guests who are traveling will have to take off two days of work as opposed to Labor Day weekend where they may not have to take off at all.

    MrsMarende
  • I was thinking if it was a Thursday night they could still go away or do whatever standing traditions they have on the weekend, where as Sunday they wouldn't be able to go away for the weekend. But maybe that is a non-issue. Thanks for your input!
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
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    Sunday September 6th 2015 (Labor Day Weekend).
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  • edited February 2014
    Long weekends are generally not the best option for your guests. People like to make special plans for those weekends and often look forward to getting out of town or entertaining loved ones. In general, a lot of people get multiple invitations from friends and family to do fun things on long weekends. Some people have annual traditions or family that they would like to see and have to cancel all of those types of plans when they have a wedding to go to. 

    Having said that, I would also agree that the Sunday is a better choice than the Thursday because your guests mostly won't have to book anytime off of work to attend.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
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    I vote for Sunday Labor Day weekend.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    I was thinking if it was a Thursday night they could still go away or do whatever standing traditions they have on the weekend, where as Sunday they wouldn't be able to go away for the weekend. But maybe that is a non-issue. Thanks for your input!

    YeH but the Thursday means your guests will either have to travel late Wednesday or take off Wednesday to travel and then take off Thursday as well. I would much rather have a wedding over a holiday weekend because I wouldn't have to use up my leave to attend where as for the Thursday wedding I would most likely decline because I wouldn't want to use up 16 hours of leave to attend a wedding.

  • edited February 2014
    Thanks for all of your input! Looks like Sunday is better
  • edited February 2014
    I was thinking if it was a Thursday night they could still go away or do whatever standing traditions they have on the weekend, where as Sunday they wouldn't be able to go away for the weekend. But maybe that is a non-issue. Thanks for your input!
    YeH but the Thursday means your guests will either have to travel late Wednesday or take off Wednesday to travel and then take off Thursday as well. I would much rather have a wedding over a holiday weekend because I wouldn't have to use up my leave to attend where as for the Thursday wedding I would most likely decline because I wouldn't want to use up 16 hours of leave to attend a wedding.
  • I was thinking if it was a Thursday night they could still go away or do whatever standing traditions they have on the weekend, where as Sunday they wouldn't be able to go away for the weekend. But maybe that is a non-issue. Thanks for your input!
    YeH but the Thursday means your guests will either have to travel late Wednesday or take off Wednesday to travel and then take off Thursday as well. I would much rather have a wedding over a holiday weekend because I wouldn't have to use up my leave to attend where as for the Thursday wedding I would most likely decline because I wouldn't want to use up 16 hours of leave to attend a wedding.
    The only issue with going with that fact is it's 17+ months from now, so people may move away for some reason or another. I agree with the fact that I'd rather have a weekend on a holiday 3-day weekend than on a Thursday night.
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
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    Definitely Labor Day weekend. July 4th is a much trickier holiday, and a lot more people travel for it (I think a lot more people fly for July 4th, especially since many families are on summer vacation). Labor Day is a holiday that a lot of people make plans for, but you could let people know the date ahead of time. Plus, Sundays on holiday weekends are great for weddings.

    Thursdays are not good dates for weddings. That is NOT to say that no one should have weekday weddings. But if you're trying to pick the best date for your guests, weekends are generally better.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
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    Definitely the Sunday of labor day weekend. I think more people have standing plans for the week of 4th of July too, as opposed to labor day.  July 5 was a choice at our venue, but we passed on it, because we thought it would be too difficult for people.  Though Boston, 4th of July weekend is awesome!

      Also, my sister had her wedding on the Saturday of Memorial day weekend and she has 88% attendance rate. So don't not choose a holiday weekend because you think people might decline, they might surprise you!
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  • edited February 2014
    I was thinking if it was a Thursday night they could still go away or do whatever standing traditions they have on the weekend, where as Sunday they wouldn't be able to go away for the weekend. But maybe that is a non-issue. Thanks for your input!
    YeH but the Thursday means your guests will either have to travel late Wednesday or take off Wednesday to travel and then take off Thursday as well. I would much rather have a wedding over a holiday weekend because I wouldn't have to use up my leave to attend where as for the Thursday wedding I would most likely decline because I wouldn't want to use up 16 hours of leave to attend a wedding.

  • Ugh I am having the worst technical difficulties today. Thanks everyone!
  • I would choose Sunday labor day weekend. Another idea depending on if your rabbi is willing you could do a Saturday night ceremony after sunset. I have seen a few Jewish weddings work this way. Just trying to give another option.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
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    @laurynm84 I always find it funny when people warn against holiday weekends like Memorial Day and Labor Day. Like ... I guess I'm the only one who goes, "YAY I get Monday off!" and just sleeps for three days straight?
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
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    We scheduled our wedding for July 4th weekend knowing we are going to get some declines because of people's vacation plans, but that date worked best for our immediate families and most of our closest friends. I just found out from our venue coordinator that someone has their wedding scheduled at our venue the day before us - on the 4th. Hey, free fireworks show for everyone!
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  • We had a Jewish wedding on July 3rd 2011, which was a Sunday.  I would definitely do the Sunday option.  It should be easier for your guests to handle the travel.  

  • I would prefer Sunday before Labor Day as a guest.  If I already get weekends/holidays off I wouldn't have to take off any extra time for your wedding as I'd be off work Sunday and Monday.  If it were on the Thursday before the holiday FI couldn't take off time to go without losing his pay for the holiday, if he were able to take it off at all.  Most of our VIPs would have trouble taking off that Thursday + Friday as well.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
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    Another vote for Sunday. :) Everyone else has covered the reasons why that's best.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
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    Sunday would work better for my family, especially if we're going to be able to sleep in on Monday. 
                       
  • I vote for the September date because it will be easier for more of your guests to attend then a Thursday wedding (at least for me it would be). Plus with it being a holiday weekend, you can go a little later into the evening and not have to worry about getting up early the next day.

  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
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    I vote for Sept 6 for two reasons first, it's a Sunday and people will already have the day off and second, it's my birthday. That's a great to day to get married!

    vmj23
  • I vote for the Sunday before Labor Day.  Most guests will already have off that day and the day after.  A wedding on a Thursday (before a holiday weekend but not the holiday itself) will require guests to take vacation time from work.
  • I also vote for Sunday

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