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Wedding Invitations & Paper
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Should I invite . . . ?

MsVeronicaGMsVeronicaG member
10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited February 2014 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hey fellow knotties! 

I have an elderly relative on my guest list from my mom's side. We recently found out through the grapevine that this relative is being moved to an assisted living place due to memory problems. Unfortunately, I don't know the extent of her health problems. She would have to take a flight to attend the wedding. Her daughters are also invited and said they will be attending. EDIT: My mom feels we should no longer invite her to the wedding because she doesn't want to make the relative in question feel bad if she doesn't remember us or make her daughters feel obligated to bring her. I personally think we should send the invite regardless and let the family decide how they want to handle things.


My question is should I still send an invite knowing there is a strong possibility she won't be able to make it and doesn't remember who I am? If yes, should I send the invite to the assisted living place or to one of her daughters?


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Re: Should I invite . . . ?

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Given that short term memory loss happens first, I'd be inclined to send an invite. One of her daughters can always explain the invitation to her just like they likely have to do with other pieces of mail.
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  • MsVeronicaGMsVeronicaG member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks @mlg78. This is a relative on my "B list" but I'm leaning towards sending an invitation anyway out of courtesy and hopefully it will spark some nice memories :-)  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited February 2014
    MsVeronicaG said:
    Thanks @mlg78. This is a relative on my "B list" but I'm leaning towards sending an invitation anyway out of courtesy and hopefully it will spark some nice memories :-)  
    Are you saying that you have a list of people you plan to invite if someone on your "A list" declines?  That's intensely rude-and B listers do find out that they didn't make the original cut.  If you're going to invite people, do it all at once-and plan for the possibility that every single guest will RSVP yes.
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  • MsVeronicaGMsVeronicaG member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    @Jen4948 - I use the term "B list" loosely. Don't worry, I'm not planning on inviting them if someone from the A list declines, I am well aware ppl would find out! It is more that she is on the "maybe" list. My wedding is next year and we haven't finalized the guest list yet. We will be sending out our invites all at once to avoid any drama or hurt feelings. 


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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd caution you against using the term "B-list" on this site. Simply say, "We're still finalizing the guest list."
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mlg78 said:
    I'd caution you against using the term "B-list" on this site. Simply say, "We're still finalizing the guest list."
    People flip out over the term B-list, bc a true b-list is super rude.
    Try "must have" and "maybe" in lieu of "A" and "B" list and you'll save yourself the unnecessary scolding ;-p 

    I'd invite her, unless you can't fit her on the "must have" list. If you invite her you should plan on her being there until she officially declines. Her family might want to bring her to see everyone.

    GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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