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Wedding Woes

My Mother the Hoarder

This is my second wedding. My mother is very passive aggressive about the fact that she doesn't like my fiance. She was very emotionally abusive when I lived with her. Hell, she's still tries to be emotionally abusive when she can talk to me without my fiance present. However, she can also go from that to being somewhat of a parent at times. I do not hate her. I just don't want to put up with her bipolar attitude about my life.

That being said, she's also a hoarder. BIG TIME. When I was a kid she had narrow pathways of junk we had to walk through to get around the house.

She's helping a bit with our wedding. I told her she could do the kids goodie boxes for the reception. She also mentioned helping with any showers that are thrown.

I want to get her a MOB gift. I just don't know what. I don't want to get her anything that would just take up more space in an already cluttered house. I was thinking a keychain or necklace. But when she sees the bridesmaids gifts, which are more elaborate, she's going to have an issue.

Any ideas??

Thank you!

Re: My Mother the Hoarder

  • spa day?
  • Yeah, I would get her an "experience" gift -- tickets to a concert/show, restaraunt gift card, spa gift card, something like that.
  • Spa day. 

    I've lived in hoarding too. My grandma and now my mother. I feel ya.
  • First off want to say I love the headline of this thread :)

    Now seriously, I would say time would make your mom change :) especially when she already has her grand kids.
    Tim will not make hoarders change. It will make them worse. Seriously worse. 

    I ditto PPs -- get her an experience gift. Also, if you can, give everyone their gifts privately (or all the BMs together and your mother separately), so that your mother doesn't know what you gave them.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • @hisgirlfriday13 previous poster obviously has never known a hoarder. My grandmother loved me very much, but let me tell you cleaning out her house is a bear of a job. Grandkids won't change op's mother.
  • @jojobrn -- I hear you! DH's grandmother has hoarding tendencies. She's not a full-out hoarder in the sense of garbage stacked everywhere, but if you open any closets or drawers, expect things to fall on you. Cleaning out her house is going to be a nightmare.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • LOL! I love all the comments.These were all great ideas! Thank you!

    We are having the wedding in SC which is 700 miles from where she lives. So she should understand me not giving her a huge gift. I like the idea of an experience gift. That should make her content.

    And no- hoarding doesn't get better. She's in financial ruin over this and still can't stop. She never will. Our kids will never spend time at her house. No sleepovers at grandmas. That's the life she choose. But I can remove myself and my family from the situation.

    Take care everyone! Thank you again!
  • Chose*** (Yeah I can type.)

    And by "huge gift" i mean size wise...
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