MOH on a Budget?

poegirlsmores · February 2014

Hi ladies,
I don't post or reply often, but I lurk and I could think of no better place to ask this question.
My older sister got engaged a couple months ago, and I'm extremely excited for her! She asked me to be Maid of Honor, and of course I accepted. I really want to give her an amazing Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party, because she really deserves it. Problem is, I'm 20 years old, and a college student. By the time of the wedding I will be in graduate school, and I'm not sure how much money I will have available. The wedding isn't until August 2015, so I know I have plenty of time, but I'd like to think ahead.
Do you guys have any suggestions on how to cut down on B-Shower/B-Party costs without sacrificing a great time and quality?
Note: I will probably be able to get my mother and father to chip in some money for this stuff, but we're all on a budget these days.
Thanks so much for any advice you have!

buddysmom80 · February 2014

@poesgirlsmores my MOH is on a budget right now (they're saving for possible IVF treatments) but she wanted to throw me a bridal shower, I told her not to go crazy and from what I know so far, she's having it at her home with catered trays, nothing crazy. I don't have a ton of guests to invite anyway, so she wouldn't have to rent out a huge hall or anything.

For the b-party, you have to see what she would like to do. For me, I'm not big on the whole going to club and getting table service. We'll probably go in to the city and do brunch which can range from 30-50 a person. Maybe there's a restaurant in your area that does that?

I was in a wedding this past fall and the bride's mom had a backyard barbecue. It was really nice, a TON of prep work, but it paid off because everyone loved the food, music and just the general atmosphere. Her mom made and bought a ton of food. She had barbecue, sides, Puerto Rican dishes and Italian trays (pasta, chicken cutlets, eggplant parm, etc).

Just some ideas for now. Bridal showers and bachelorette parties don't have to be crazy expensive unless you want them to be. The wedding I was in, where the bridal shower was a barbecue, the bachelorette party cost everyone who went $500 a person (I declined, the MOH didn't ask anyone prior how much they could contribute and I couldn't contribute $500).

See if your sister has any ideas, and go from there! Good luck!

cu97tiger · February 2014

I have so many thoughts... where to begin?

1 - as the MOH, you are not obligated to throw any of these parties. If you cannot afford them, then don't host them.

2 - since you're already thinking about it, I'm guessing you WANT to do this for your sister, so the first thing I'd do is start putting money away. If you put $10 a week away from now until April 2015, you'll have $550. That should be more than enough for your share of a bachelorette and bridal shower.

3 - As buddysmom said, these parties don't need to be expensive. Enlist the other bridesmaids, your mom, aunts, etc who want to be a part of this. Have each person bring a dish (around a theme?). Host it at someone's house rather than a restaurant.

4 - A night out on the town doesn't HAVE to be expensive. Does your sister like pubs/bars? Find an area that has several of them within walking distance. Do a pub crawl. Even with paying for her drinks, you should be able to keep the total cost low.

5 - When my sister got married, I was not in a great place financially. I bought the dress (meh), the horrible shoes, and did all the parties. I've never regretted it, even though I had to put some money on a credit card. I'm sure that's not what most people will suggest you do, but if you consider this a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do these things with/for your sister, then WITHIN REASON that could also be an option.

6 - Be honest. If you are not comfortable with going into debt for this, then don't. When the time comes to start planning (NOT NOW), let your sister know your parameters. It's a tough conversation but an adult conversation that you should be able to have.

Good luck!

tuarceatha · February 2014

I have no additional advice because I think Buddysmom80 and cu97tiger said a lot of what I might've suggested.

Good luck, poesgirlsmores!

labro · February 2014

I think PP's have already given really good advice.

I saved money on my sis's bridal shower by hosting it in my parent's basement and backyard. We bought most of the food from Costco and FI and I had a bunch of lawn games set up for people to play. It was a couples shower so we kept it pretty casual and low-key...no traditional bridal shower games or anything like that. Just food, alcohol, games, and music.

The bachelorette I hosted was more of a blowout honestly so I really can't give you advice there. My BFF hosted a pretty low-key bach for her sis because that's what she wanted. They went out to one of those paint your own pottery type of places with about 4 or 5 other women and then went back to my BFF's apartment for a pizza party/movie night. Her cost overall was very low...just pizza and snacks and the cost of pottery for her and her sis. So all in all...probably less than $100 or $150.

Like everyone else has said...since you want to throw a bachelorette for your sister you need to talk to her about what she wants and then determine if it fits within your budget. I had to tell my sister at one point that she needed to cut her guest list for her bridal shower because I couldn't afford to feed all the people she would have liked to invite. She said no problem and cut the guest list down to a number I felt more comfortable with.

blabla89 · February 2014

Good advice from the PPs. You can also skip the phallic party favors. That should save you a bit of money on the bachelorette party.

poegirlsmores · February 2014

Great advice everybody! I'll definitely be revisiting this again when the time comes to start planning everything.
I'm actually pretty lucky, because my sister is the type of person who appreciates low-key, inexpensive parties. She'd be totally happy if these parties were just our immediate relatives and a home cooked meal. But I do see it as a once-in-a-lifetime thing and I'd love to make it special for her in any way possible. : )
I hadn't really thought about enlisting help from other bridesmaids (at least not finance-wise) but since they will be all family and friends, I'm sure they would understand if it were to come to that.
I'm definitely going to start saving what I can so that I don't have to go into debt to give her a nice time.
I'll also start looking into an inexpensive venue. (I can always do a park and throw up a tent for the Bridal Shower, since it'll be about May-June when that happens.)
Thanks so much everybody! I think this helped me get some realistic (but nice) ideas. : D

psychbabe314 · February 2014

Everyone gave such good advise, just make sure you ask the other bridesmaids if they would like to chip in and how much they are willing to chip in. I made the mistake of asking if the bridesmaids would chip in and then just saying to chip in whatever. Prices were a lot higher than I had originally expected after hearing about what the bride would like and working it around her ideas too. The total price I paid was ~$300. People chipped in ~$80 and there were 6 girls including myself (but not the bride). I was 19 at the time when I planned this and putting out $220 was not even close to being in my budget.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

@poegirlsmores - All of the ladies here have already given great advice, so i'm not going to repeat it. Just wanted to share an idea from my own bachelorette party. My MOH hosted my party at a girlfriend's house. They made a fun dinner, but the best part was that my MOH had each gal bring everything to make her favorite drink and copies of the recipe to share. It was so fun to try different drinks throughout the night and my MOH didn't have to break the bank on bar tabs or expensive purchases. We had Blushing Brides, Mojitos, Champagne, Disarono and Lemonade...too many to remember. It was a fun party and not expensive at all.

buddysmom80 · February 2014

@allusive007 that sounds like an AWESOME bachelorette party!!!!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

@buddysmom80 - it was a blast! My girlfriend that brought mojitos had made a mint infused simple syrup...it was AMAZING! It was a great night. I'd wanted something low key...and it's fun now each time I have one of those drinks I think of that girlfriend!

poegirlsmores · February 2014

@allusive007 That really does sound like a great idea! I will have just turned 21 not too long before her wedding, so it would be a nice way to try a few drinks with some people I trust. (I'm straightedge, and I've never really drank before) Most importantly it sounds like something all the girls will enjoy without breaking the bank.

I'm definitely going to consider an at-home relaxed bachelorette party, and probably a simple-but-special bridal shower with some help from family and other bridesmaids. : D

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