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week of wedding events?

kat & mattkat & matt member
25 Love Its 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance's cousin in England just messaged me and asked what events we have planned the week of wedding so she knows what to pack. Um events? We are expecting 150 people to our Charleston wedding, most are out of town, about 20 are from out of country. Are we seriously expected to entertain everyone the week of? How do I tell her uh see you at the wedding? Our budget is blown there is no way we can do anything else. As of now we are just going to see super close family/friends before hand.

Thanks!
Katrina

 

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Re: week of wedding events?

  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    It seems like this is more of a thing in theUK, so she might be used to it. (Just from observation, I could be wrong.)

    I would definitely give her some ideas of stuff to do if she is going to be here that long though, and maybe if she's interested youcould include her in some of your last minute preparations?


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  • kat & mattkat & matt member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments
    I have a wedding website with TONS of activities. I also understand that very few people actually look at these sites. However, we are doing our RSVP's through our website so hopefully it will force them to look at the "what to do" link we have. Since it's his family I may have my fiance gently steer her toward our website :)  

    66 days to go - and feeling the stress ;)

    Thanks, ladies :)

     

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    MandyMost said:
    If I'm traveling quite far for someone's wedding, I do like to be able to see that person for more than just the wedding itself, personally. For example, after the rehearsal dinner you could let people know you'll be at X bar from 8-10pm, for example, and they can stop by and say hello if they'd like. And the day after the wedding, you can let everyone know you're planning on being at Y restaurant from 10am-2pm for brunch, and if anyone wants to stop in to say goodbye before they leave, it would be great to see them there.

    You don't have to host a week's worth of events, but if people are traveling far to see you, it would be nice to invite them to actually see you if you can. 
    I agree with this.   

    Our wedding was OOT for the entire guest list. We arrived in town at Wednesday and were always around guests.  Only Friday (night before) was hosted - open house at the beach rental.  People just came and went as they pleased.  The rest of the time it was just people stopping by saying hello, us going to the pool at the hotel block, DH going golfing with 25 people, etc. 

    The OOT wedding I went to in Europe we met up with the couple a few days before at an entertainment park.  We also had dinner with them (along with others - non-hosted) a few nights before.   

    The OOT wedding we just went to in FL we met up with the couple the day before around the pool.  Non-hosted.  They just said they would be at the pool in the afternoon, come join them.

    I really enjoyed extra time with my guests.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hmmm, it isn't a UK expectation for a week of events, however, I have been to DW that had various events. This is definitely not required! Also, remember it is a DW for them- so their perspective they may "forget" you have other things to do and are not on holiday as well. I would email them back and say that nothing is planned but list some of your favourite restaurants and bars, and that more info for activities is on your website. Not many people use wedding sites in the UK so they may not think to check it.
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  • blabla89blabla89 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    You definitely DON'T have to provide a week of entertainment - just let her know what you do have planned that she's invited to. It might be nice to give her some suggestions of things to do on her free time, since she's traveling so far - Charleston is lovely and there's so much to do and see there.
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    She's probably just curious about any dinners or brunches or anything that she might want to go to to spend time with you at. She's likely just curious how many outfits to bring. I don't think she's expecting you to babysit her.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Everyone is different- I detest organized events other than the wedding itself when I travel somewhere new to attend a DW.  Some PPs like seeing the couple more than just the wedding.  FI's cousin most likely just wants to know so she'll be able to pack accordingly and schedule her time while in Charleston.  You can let her know the wedding is the only planned event, and either include the link to your website's "what to do" page or include them in the body of the email, in case she needs some guidance.
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  • missmo14missmo14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    We are having a DW which is an international trip for most guests. We are hosting a welcome party which is completely optional but just a great way for us to catch up with most guests who have traveled. The wedding is definitely THE event, but we just wanted to have a less formal get together.
    I dont think its mandatory though and I agree with PP - let her know that the wedding is the only planned event and offer suggestions on things to do.

    Can't wait to say 'I do' on April 14, 2014 - Planning Bio

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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    kat & matt said:

    I have a wedding website with TONS of activities. I also understand that very few people actually look at these sites. However, we are doing our RSVP's through our website so hopefully it will force them to look at the "what to do" link we have. Since it's his family I may have my fiance gently steer her toward our website :)  


    66 days to go - and feeling the stress ;)

    Thanks, ladies :)
    You should still put actual RSVP cards with the invitations. Some people might not be able to /want to RSVP via website.
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  • kat & mattkat & matt member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments
    We are sending out actual RSVP cards with the invitations, with the option to rsvp via our site or through email. The postage was going to kill us, so it made sense for us to cut back on costs in this way. One point worth mentioning is that while this may appear to be a DW for some of our guests, Charleston is where we live. 

    Thanks, ladies!


     

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can you send her a list of things of interest to do in your area or even a local tourist website link. This way she can plan things she might like to see while visiting and will know what type of clothes to pack for those things.
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