Parent's names on invitations?

Fezzik42 · February 2014

I planned on wording my invites simply:

"The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of me and him."

I ordered a sample invite and showed my parents, who promptly said, "what about our names?" So I gather that they want to be included on the invites. *sigh*
Should I change the wording on my invites to include their names? They eventually said we could word them however I want, but I feel like they wouldn't have brought it up if they didn't care.....

Thanks in advance for any input!

Jen4948 · February 2014

Are your parents hosting? If so, include their names. If not, then the answer to "what about our names?" is "Since you're not hosting, your names don't go on the invitation."

CMGragain · February 2014

I assume this is a church wedding? Who is hosting?

Fezzik42 · February 2014

I don't know if they are technically "hosting"...they did contribute some money towards the wedding...does that make them the hosts? And then if I include their names, I should include FI's parents too, correct? They are also contributing.

(P.S. I'm so thankful for these boards. I've lurked for a long time and learned a lot!)

Edit: Yes, it is a church wedding.

Jen4948 · February 2014

No, contributing doesn't equal hosting.

Hosting means issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests, and seeing that their needs are dealt with at the wedding. Are your parents doing that? If so, they're hosts.

If they're just contributing money, they are not hosts. Also, it really isn't the guests' business who is paying for what, so the invitation wording shouldn't be made on a "she's paying for X, he's paying for Y" basis.

Fezzik42 · February 2014

Ahhhh, yes that makes sense. So no then, they are not hosting, FI and I are. I think they are expecting it because my brother and SIL just got married in October and their invitations had both sets of parents names on them. Thanks @Jen4948!

I just don't want to hurt their feelings, you know? I think they feel like being mentioned on the invitation is an honor.

Edit: typing is hard.

CMGragain · February 2014

The honour of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Church name
Address
City, State

Fezzik42 · February 2014

@CMGragain, that's exactly how I had it on my sample. I think I am just going to go with what I had originally.

emrgabrielli · February 2014

So my wedding is at my FI's parents house. My dad is contributing the majority of the wedding but technically my FI and I are hosting and since my parents are divorced and it would have been awkward to have my stepmom's name instead of my mom's name I worded the invites: Together with their families. Just to include them.

CMGragain · February 2014

emrgabrielli said:

So my wedding is at my FI's parents house. My dad is contributing the majority of the wedding but technically my FI and I are hosting and since my parents are divorced and it would have been awkward to have my stepmom's name instead of my mom's name I worded the invites: Together with their families. Just to include them.

While your wording is fine, you aren't including or excluding anyone by putting their names on your invitations. It is not an honor to be on the invitation. I do not think you are hosting, since your father is contributing so much to your wedding. There is nothing unusual in divorced parents. The traditional wording for your wedding would be this:

Ms. Jane Bridesmother
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, Date
time o'clock
The Groomsparents Residence
Address
City, State

huskypuppy14 · February 2014

CMGragain said:

emrgabrielli said:

So my wedding is at my FI's parents house. My dad is contributing the majority of the wedding but technically my FI and I are hosting and since my parents are divorced and it would have been awkward to have my stepmom's name instead of my mom's name I worded the invites: Together with their families. Just to include them.

While your wording is fine, you aren't including or excluding anyone by putting their names on your invitations. It is not an honor to be on the invitation. I do not think you are hosting, since your father is contributing so much to your wedding. There is nothing unusual in divorced parents. The traditional wording for your wedding would be this:

Ms. Jane Bridesmother
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, Date
time o'clock
The Groomsparents Residence
Address
City, State

But don't we always say that paying does not equal hosting? Also, considering that the wedding is taking place at her FI parent's I would presume they would be hosts as well and it would be quite rude to not include them. I think her wording is appropriate in this situation.

CMGragain · February 2014

Either wording is fine. I was just suggesting an alternative. You could also add FI's parents, if necessary. This one could go either way.

yolandamunoz · February 2014

I am having some doubts as well... My fiancé is from the US, I am peruvian, and we live in Chile. We are having our wedding in Peru. My parents and us (couple) are paying for the wedding, his parents are not contributing. How should I word the invitation?

I was going for something simple like "together with our families".. what do you think?

Thanks!

yolandamunoz · February 2014

P.S. it is an evening church wedding, followed by a formal reception in a hotel.

Parent's names on invitations?

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