Open Seating at Reception

gkbeverly · February 2014

My fiancé would like our families and friends to mingle at the reception. Does open seating promote that? I'm thinking reserving the front 2 tables for our immediate families then the rest of the tables to the rest of the guests.

Jen4948 · February 2014

I don't think open seating promotes mingling at all, because people gather with their own friends and relatives and save seats so that others can't join them.

I think this is something you just have to go with the flow on.

lyndausvi · February 2014

I've only attended wedding with assigned tables and there was always a lot of mingling going on. ::shrugs::

QueerFemme · February 2014

People are going to mingle whether you have assigned seating or not. I had open seating and it was a very casual environment, so people mingled a lot. But, I think I could have assigned seating, and given the casual atmosphere, people still would have mingled.

What prevents mingling is not having enough seating. People sit in their chair and don't want to get up for fear that they will lose their seat.

If you do decide on open seating, have at least 10% more seating then you will need.

AddieCake · February 2014

Yeah, where people sit has no effect on whether or not mingling occurs. People who like to mingle will, and people who don't won't.

indianaalum · February 2014

there is a thread on this in etiquette...the general consensus is that people have open seating for many reasons. Read that thread..PLEASE....

MyNameIsNot · February 2014

Open seating doesn't promote mingling. It actually does the opposite. With open seating, everyone is going to rush to get to a table with people they know.

With a seating chart, you can put small groups together that may not know each other well but who would naturally mix. For example, you could seat your school friends with your co-workers because they work in the same industry.

Ultimately, people will socialize with people they already know, but assigned seating gives you the opportunity to put people who don't know many people together with other guests that they might get along with.

oliviaester1991 · February 2014

As a guest I HATE open seating. I went to a wedding for a friend of my fiance and we didn't know his family or the brides and only knew like 4 people other than the bride and groom. And those 4 people were family so they sat with other family and we were stuck without a seat anywhere near people we knew and ended up sitting at a table with a bunch of 17 year old boys and we had no fun and were very frustrated the entire time we were at the table. We left immediately after dinner.

grumbledore · February 2014

Jen4948 said:

I don't think open seating promotes mingling at all, because people gather with their own friends and relatives and save seats so that others can't join them.

I think this is something you just have to go with the flow on.

I agree. If anything, assigned seating will encourage those who don't know each other already to talk.

CaliMel11 · February 2014

I was originally going to do open seating, but now as it gets closer, I'm leaning towards assigned seats instead.

kmmssg · February 2014

We definitely assign tables! If you don't you need extra seating which means extra linens, centerpieces, etc. When one of our girls gets married I do our side of the family, I ask the kids to figure out their friends, and I ask the groom if he wants to figure out his family or have his parents do it. They seem to always choose to have the MOG figure out their side! It is quick and easy and is really a courtesy and service to your guests.

LondonLisa · February 2014

I also am not a fan of open seating. Inevitably one ends up with huge tables as people move chairs to sit with people they know. Someone will get left out and I actually think it discourages mingling because you want to stay in your chair as I would be worried someone would accidentally take it whilst I was out of it. Also, you need many more seats (about 20-30% more seats) than guests as people will clump with their friends.

I had a friend do a really good seating plan at her wedding. She had each person sit at a table with 1 person/ couple they knew and others that they didn't know but thought would get along. It was really fun. So I had a friend from University at my table who I knew very well, a childhood friend of the bride, the bride's aunt and a family friend. So I could chat with the person I knew well, but also made some new friends. It was a great way to get people to "mingle" but very thoughtfully.

aspoonfulofsugar · February 2014

So not a fan of open seating. I got stuck at a friend's wedding completely by myself and was miserable. I chatted with someone I knew only vaguely from my town and another woman and her daughter, but they all left after dinner. I'm not the kind of person who will strike out on my own, so I would have preferred assigned seating.

MandyMost · February 2014

I've had some really good mingling as a result of assigned tables. Last summer we were sat with 2 couples that I kind of knew, and 1 or 2 couples I didn't know at all, but turned out we all got along great. We had a blast. We ended up going around the table and telling stories and laughing our asses off before and during dinner. If it was open seating, we wouldn't have ended up being sat with such great "strangers".

As long as you assign the tables with an eye towards mingling, instead of just "put everyone with people they know", it can be great for that. I'd rather be sat with some cool people the bride and groom think I'll get along with (as my story above) instead of being sat with my aunt and cousin just because I know them.

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