Ceremony start time

ddvirts · January 2014

So our ceremony starts at 6pm. What time should I put on the invitation? I was thinking 5:30pm to give people a chance to arrive on time and have a glass of champagne and chat with family/friends. But now I'm not sure what the proper etiquette here is. Any help on this topic is appreciated!

misshart00 · January 2014

Put 6:00. It's the most polite thing for your guests. Most people arrive early for a wedding so don't make them stand around another 30 minutes.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

6pm. Most people will get there 15 to 30 minutes prior to the start time. So if you put 5:30 there will be people waiting for 45 minutes to an hour before your ceremony starts and will most likely get irritated that they were lied to about the start time because you thought that they couldn't get to your wedding on time.

Also, I have never been to a wedding where people wanted to stand around and chat for awhile before the ceremony. That is what the cocktail hour and reception afterwards is for.

JMalettas · January 2014

I agree, if your ceremony begins at 6PM, then put 6PM. I have a feeling you might mean your reception, not your ceremony, as I've also never heard of people having drinks & mingling before a ceremony. If this is your reception, & you want to have a cocktail hour before hand, you can state the time of that, prior to the dinner hour. Maybe 5PM, if dinner is at 6PM. (If this is what you meant to say anyways). If not, then stick to the 6PM ceremony.

*J

vmj23 · January 2014

I agree, if it starts at 6, put 6. People know the time given is the start time, not the arrival time. leave the mingle/drinking for cocktail hour and reception, no need for that before a ceremony

Jen4948 · January 2014

If your ceremony starts at 6pm, then put 6pm.

The mingling and drinking should take place at a cocktail hour and reception, not before the ceremony.

StarArly · February 2014

I think this is a region/culture thing. In South Florida people always put a certain time on their event anticipating people running late and it usually starts 30 minutes after the time on the invitation.

QueerFemme · February 2014

It's incredibly rude to put a delayed start time, just so you can give people time to be late. All of the people who show up on time have to stand/sit around for 30 hour waiting for late arrivers? that's rude.

MyNameIsNot · February 2014

StarArly said:

I think this is a region/culture thing. In South Florida people always put a certain time on their event anticipating people running late and it usually starts 30 minutes after the time on the invitation.

Your friends may do that, but my Keys and Miami family consider this just as rude as I do. Please don't generalize an entire region based on your own social circle.

If you can't be bothered to show up on time, that's your problem. People who are polite enough to be on time shouldn't be punished for the rude guests.

StarArly · February 2014

@Mynameisnot

1) I never said I agreed with this. In fact I don't as I have found it annoying sometimes but still understand the reasoning behind it.

2) Thanks for telling me that my social circle is rude.

3) I've lived in Miami for 28 years, I think an observation I have made after attending 10+ weddings is just that an observation based on my personal experiences and not a generalization of an entire region. However if I was a betting woman I would bet you $100 that the next wedding I attend would not start on time.

StarArly · February 2014

Oh and BTW I asked a similar question on the South Florida Board and the knotties on there that responded said they each had their ceremonies start 30 minutes after the time on the invitation.

You know your guests think about what they would appreciate.

Jen4948 · February 2014

StarArly said:

@Mynameisnot

1) I never said I agreed with this. In fact I don't as I have found it annoying sometimes but still understand the reasoning behind it.
2) Thanks for telling me that my social circle is rude.
3) I've lived in Miami for 28 years, I think an observation I have made after attending 10+ weddings is just that an observation based on my personal experiences and not a generalization of an entire region. However if I was a betting woman I would bet you $100 that the next wedding I attend would not start on time.

Sorry, but your social circle is rude to play games with start times. And yes, the entire region of South Florida does not agree with you that you should put a start time that is actually 30 minutes too early. What the hell are your guests supposed to do in those 30 minutes? It is rude to keep them waiting, individual social circle expectations or not. What if you had guests who came from outside your social circle?

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

Could it be that people keep coming late because they know the event will not start on time? People who would ordinarily be prompt get sick of waiting around for events to actually start, so they just show up late like everyone else? I had a couple of friends who were constantly late for things. The rest of us eventually got sick of it, and would proceed without them. You can bet they got their acts together after missing out on things a few times.

Jen4948 · February 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

Could it be that people keep coming late because they know the event will not start on time? People who would ordinarily be prompt get sick of waiting around for events to actually start, so they just show up late like everyone else? I had a couple of friends who were constantly late for things. The rest of us eventually got sick of it, and would proceed without them. You can bet they got their acts together after missing out on things a few times.

It's quite possible that this kind of rudeness is the result of chain reactions and being too lenient with friends and family members. Many people only get their acts together when they realize there are adverse consequences for not doing so.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

At our wedding we had a few couples and the family of H's Aunt and Uncle that were running late for our wedding. That did not have any affect on what time we started the ceremony. We started on time because we certainly weren't going to wait for a handful of individuals that couldn't make it on time. Those people missed the ceremony. Their loss. We weren't going to be rude to the rest of our guests who could make it on time just because some couldn't.

photokitty · February 2014

StarArly said:

Oh and BTW I asked a similar question on the South Florida Board and the knotties on there that responded said they each had their ceremonies start 30 minutes after the time on the invitation.
You know your guests think about what they would appreciate.

By "the knotties on the South Florida board", you mean 2 people…that's not a lot of people validating your personal preference.

You have 4 times that many telling you it is rude and to list the actual start time. Ask on the Etiquette board and you'll be astounded by the numbers lining up to say you should always list the actual start time as almost all of your guests will arrive at least 15 mins early and a portion will be there 30 mins in advance.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

StarArly said:

I think this is a region/culture thing. In South Florida people always put a certain time on their event anticipating people running late and it usually starts 30 minutes after the time on the invitation.

This is incredibly rude. I usually make sure we get to weddings 30 min. prior to the time on the invitation to ensure we're not late. If I now had an HOUR to sit around, I'd be incredibly ticked off.

Why do I have to be punished for people running late? If guests really want to see your ceremony, they'll get their ass to the ceremony on time.

ddvirts · February 2014

Thanks for the responses...I guess...I put the actual start time on our invitations and not 30 mins earlier. This is my first time getting married btw, so I'm just not sure what is normally done in certain cases and that's why I asked. I think next time I'll just google instead of asking questions on this board. Thanks anyway.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

ddvirts said:

Thanks for the responses...I guess...I put the actual start time on our invitations and not 30 mins earlier. This is my first time getting married btw, so I'm just not sure what is normally done in certain cases and that's why I asked. I think next time I'll just google instead of asking questions on this board. Thanks anyway.

And why is that? We answered your question in a non-rude manner. I am not sure what else you wanted.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

ddvirts said:

Thanks for the responses...I guess...I put the actual start time on our invitations and not 30 mins earlier. This is my first time getting married btw, so I'm just not sure what is normally done in certain cases and that's why I asked. I think next time I'll just google instead of asking questions on this board. Thanks anyway.

Well, if you ask questions on this board, you'll get honest answers. Not sure why you wouldn't want that.

Also, most of the ladies here are getting married for the first time. It's new territory for alot of women. By coming here you can share your experiences with others in the planning process and perhaps pick up information and tips from those who have already been married but enjoy weddings in general. You're not going to get that from a google search.

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