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Inviting Pastor?

Jamone99Jamone99 member
10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Should we be inviting the pastor to our reception? I assumed so, but we didn't decide on an officiant until very recently, so just wanted to double check. We aren't having a traditional reception after our ceremony - just heavy apps and dancing, and very small.
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Re: Inviting Pastor?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you aren't close with your pastor, meaning you didn't grow up in his church or have been going to his church for years then there is no need to invite him.  If you hire an officiant to marry you then that person just becomes another vendor, unless, of course, for the reasons I stated in my first sentence.

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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Anyone who is apart of the ceremony should be invited to the reception. This includes the pastor. He is also included in the rehearsal dinner as well.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    JBee85 said:
    Anyone who is apart of the ceremony should be invited to the reception. This includes the pastor. He is also included in the rehearsal dinner as well.
    That is not true for a wedding.  And honestly if I am only hiring an officiant because I need someone to marry me I wouldn't be inviting him to the RD either.

    With this train of thought then that means your ceremony musicians that you are hiring just to play your wedding should also be invited to the wedding.  Vendors, unless they are the photographer, DJ and videographer are not included in the reception.  These are people that you are paying to do a service for you.  You do not have to invite them to your wedding reception.

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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    ((That is not true for a wedding.  And honestly if I am only hiring an officiant because I need someone to marry me I wouldn't be inviting him to the RD either.))
    I don't know what planet you're from, but it's customary to invite your Pastor.
    You are comparing apples to oranges with Pastors and officiants. Many Pastors will not marry you if you OR your spouse are not a member of their parish. I have never been to a wedding reception where the priest/minister/pastor were not invited to the reception. I am pretty sure that it was specified on TK that a reception is a party is thanking people for attending the wedding, correct? Why wouldn't a Pastor be included?

    The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to the participants in the ceremony, which he is a big participant.

    ((Vendors, unless they are the photographer, DJ and videographer are not included in the reception.  These are people that you are paying to do a service for you.))
    The Pastor is the one sanctioning your unity/marriage under the eyes of God. You can have a wedding without the DJ and photographer, but not without the person who agrees to wed you. it's not just thanking the Pastor, but it's also a sign of respect within the Christian community.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    ((That is not true for a wedding.  And honestly if I am only hiring an officiant because I need someone to marry me I wouldn't be inviting him to the RD either.))
    I don't know what planet you're from, but it's customary to invite your Pastor.
    You are comparing apples to oranges with Pastors and officiants. Many Pastors will not marry you if you OR your spouse are not a member of their parish. I have never been to a wedding reception where the priest/minister/pastor were not invited to the reception. I am pretty sure that it was specified on TK that a reception is a party is thanking people for attending the wedding, correct? Why wouldn't a Pastor be included?

    The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to the participants in the ceremony, which he is a big participant.

    ((Vendors, unless they are the photographer, DJ and videographer are not included in the reception.  These are people that you are paying to do a service for you.))
    The Pastor is the one sanctioning your unity/marriage under the eyes of God. You can have a wedding without the DJ and photographer, but not without the person who agrees to wed you. it's not just thanking the Pastor, but it's also a sign of respect within the Christian community.
    I am sorry but I 100% disagree with you.  And I think it is stretching it a bit by saying that not inviting your pastor is a sign of disrespect within the Christian community.

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    JBee85 said:
    ((That is not true for a wedding.  And honestly if I am only hiring an officiant because I need someone to marry me I wouldn't be inviting him to the RD either.))
    I don't know what planet you're from, but it's customary to invite your Pastor.
    You are comparing apples to oranges with Pastors and officiants. Many Pastors will not marry you if you OR your spouse are not a member of their parish. I have never been to a wedding reception where the priest/minister/pastor were not invited to the reception. I am pretty sure that it was specified on TK that a reception is a party is thanking people for attending the wedding, correct? Why wouldn't a Pastor be included?

    The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to the participants in the ceremony, which he is a big participant.

    ((Vendors, unless they are the photographer, DJ and videographer are not included in the reception.  These are people that you are paying to do a service for you.))
    The Pastor is the one sanctioning your unity/marriage under the eyes of God. You can have a wedding without the DJ and photographer, but not without the person who agrees to wed you. it's not just thanking the Pastor, but it's also a sign of respect within the Christian community.
    If you are getting married by a pastor that you have a relationship with, this is true. But many people do not attend a church regularly, or are getting married away from home and so must hire a pastor they do not know. If this isn't someone you have a relationship with, there is no need to invite them. They are hired for the occasion.
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    eyeroll
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