• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
March 2014 Weddings

Thank GOD (with a little vent)

Yesterday was quite interesting to say the least.  FI and I were talking about our guest list and how my side was filling up, where as his was still missing a handful.  He called FMIL to ask her to follow up on some RSVP's.  She said she thinks all of the missing RSVP's are coming but she will follow up to be sure.  I asked FI to ask her if she had heard anything about FSIL's dress.  Nada.  They got off the phone and I immediately called Davids Bridal.  Not only to check on FSIL's dress (that I've been stressing about a little bit) but to check on my MOH, SIL and FSIL shoe dying.  

I spoke with a sales girl and gave her my information.  She looked it up (spelled my last name right on the first try...NO ONE can do that!) and told me that FSIL's dress came in 2/11/14.  I asked why I didn't get an email and why FSIL didn't get a call.  She said that there was no number to call (BS) and no email (BS again).  I told her that I updated that information when I was in to order my shoes and she said that it must not have saved.  Ok, no big deal.  At least FSIL's dress is in.  THANK GOD!  Anyhow. She checked on the shoes and said all 3 were ready for pick up.  Again, I asked why there was no call or email.  She said that she isn't sure but it looks like they've been done for a while.  GREAT.  Communication SUCKS with Davids Bridal.   I texted FSIL and told her that her shoes and dress were in.  She thanked me. I then told her to go ASAP to try on the dress and get any alterations done so they're done before 3/1.  She said she had planned to.  OK. No problem. FI called FMIL and told her.  She was happy to hear the dress was in.  Good.  She will be bringing FSIL to DB to get fitted.  Vent #1 - She then told FI that on the day of the wedding, she plans to hang out here at the house for a little bit after getting her hair done.  (She's FSIL's transportation (don't ask, I have no clue - it causes me to question things too)) Our hair appointment is at 8am.  It'll take at least 2 hours (ish) to get everyone done.  I figure we'll be home by 10/10:30.  She said she's gonna hang out until 11:30.  My issue with this is that she should be spending time with her son the morning of.  Not me.  She likes to "get in the way" when she is at my house and "take the attention" by making things all about her.  I don't want that the morning of my wedding.  When I come home from the hair salon, I plan to have a mimosa (or two), have a cigarette (with out being judged!), eat some yummy food (french toast casserole - yummy) and just relax until my photographer gets there to start taking photos.  I told FI that I really don't want FMIL here that long.  10 minutes maybe but not an hour or so.  He asked why and I said that I don't think she should be spending the time with me...she should be with him.  He said he was going to talk to her.  Oye. 

Vent # 2:  My Mother.  FI and I went down to my parents house so my mom could have me try a part of my dress on and start on our bracelet and earring project for the girls.  My SIL and nephew were there (she was getting her gown measured for hem) so I got to talk with her for a bit. I put the dress on, which I had thought was taken apart.  My mom started messing with something and then decided that it wasn't worth the extra work of her inserting something and then putting it back together.  The seams wouldn't match up with my bust.  No biggie.  She's going to remake the bodice as she originally planned.  Once I got the dress off, I was freaking out a little (in my head) that it won't be done in time - even though we have 26 days.  I told my mom I would be down next weekend to see the status of the dress.  I then asked her about the bracelets.  She said that she'll start one later this week and show me when I come down.  I said that I wanted to get them started ASAP because I want to get the little crap done and over with.  She said OK we'll deal with it over the weekend.  I then, humorously, told my mom that I'd like to say that my gown is complete by March 1st so if there are any changes needed, we can work on it that weekend and have it be DONE by no later than 3/8.  She agreed.


Why do I feel like when things go right, another thing happens to snow ball and become a thorn in my side??

Wedding Countdown Ticker


Michelle & Ronald
01/03/81
06/18/81
08/25/10
05/07/13
03/15/14


image 172 Invites sent
image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
image 40 are party poopers
image 0 awaiting reply
Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.

Re: Thank GOD (with a little vent)

  • This post comes off a little bridezilla. Your FMIL seems to be showing interest in being a part of things, this is coming from a person with an extremely aggressive FMIL. I seriously doubt she is gonna take attention off of you, being that you are the bride. It's only an hour, I promise it won't ruin your day. However if you tell her you don't want her there it may run hers. And I can't believe your ordering your mother around and giving her deadlines! And here's an idea, how about you start on the bracelets! Sorry!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited February 2014
    LisaA2014 said:
    This post comes off a little bridezilla. Your FMIL seems to be showing interest in being a part of things, this is coming from a person with an extremely aggressive FMIL. I seriously doubt she is gonna take attention off of you, being that you are the bride. It's only an hour, I promise it won't ruin your day. However if you tell her you don't want her there it may run hers. And I can't believe your ordering your mother around and giving her deadlines! And here's an idea, how about you start on the bracelets! Sorry!
    The last 3 months, FMIL has been overly interested in our wedding. FI and I have discussed the possible reason why she wants to be here the morning of is because FSIL will be here and she is attached to her hip 24-7 (they do everything together. Invited FSIL to lunch and shopping one day - FMIL tagged along because FSIL wanted her there.  I invite FSIL out for a saturday afternoon coffee/tea - FMIL tags along.  I'm trying to spend time with FSIL to get to know her and FMIL keeps tagging along.  It's no big deal but I don't spend THAT much time with my mom!). FI will be talking with his mom again.  I told him I don't have an issue with her being here but I really don't want her here when I get dressed.  He agrees with me and will handle it.  My mom even said that FMIL shouldn't be here when I get dressed because its a Mother/Daughter thing not a FMIL/Mother/Daughter thing.


    With the dress - I do have to give my mom deadlines because if I don't, the dress won't be done.  She is the queen of procrastination.  When I told her 3/8 she said ok.  When I spoke with her last night she said that she's got the bodice put together and will start pinning the lace appliqués on it so when I come down on Sunday she can make sure to mark where to put the zipper, etc.  My mother is very good at what she does.  She amazes me daily with the amount of stuff she manages to get done.  She has my flower girl dress almost 1/2 way done.  She has already hemmed my SIL's dress and will be doing my sisters dress today.  Deadlines are good for her.  Especially since we have 25 days.  

    The bracelets - I would start them but she has all the material at her house.  I tried to convince her to let me bring it home, but she said we'll work on it on Sunday.  Fingers crossed that is the case. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    1) FMIL may be overly interested for your tastes, but she might also be uncomfortable getting ready around her son and the men. She might be passive aggressive (I've one of those too) but she can't take the focus off you, you're the bride. If she gets rude/inappropriate, be gracious- it looks bad on her, not on you, unless you throw an immature hissy fit.

    2) Regarding the dress: this is why it is not always a great idea to have family do something as big as this. Your mom is making not only your dress, but the FG dress and is hemming other dresses. You also know she's a procrastinator, yet you have her making your dress. You haven't indicated if you're paying her for it, so I'm assuming this is a gift from her. I'm sorry, but this is now one you'll have to take a deep breath and accept it, unless you go out and buy yourself a dress at this point.

    3) Your mom might be feeling as though if she doesn't get it (dresses, bracelets, etc) all done herself, it will be utterly ruined. With regards to the bracelets, you need to gently but firmly tell her she has enough on her plate, and you're happy to take care of this item, take the materials, and go put them together yourself.

     

    My only other advice is to breathe, not let yourself get overwhelmed, and don't let things mentally snowball

    soontobemrsbuccheri
  • 1) FMIL may be overly interested for your tastes, but she might also be uncomfortable getting ready around her son and the men. She might be passive aggressive (I've one of those too) but she can't take the focus off you, you're the bride. If she gets rude/inappropriate, be gracious- it looks bad on her, not on you, unless you throw an immature hissy fit.

    2) Regarding the dress: this is why it is not always a great idea to have family do something as big as this. Your mom is making not only your dress, but the FG dress and is hemming other dresses. You also know she's a procrastinator, yet you have her making your dress. You haven't indicated if you're paying her for it, so I'm assuming this is a gift from her. I'm sorry, but this is now one you'll have to take a deep breath and accept it, unless you go out and buy yourself a dress at this point.

    3) Your mom might be feeling as though if she doesn't get it (dresses, bracelets, etc) all done herself, it will be utterly ruined. With regards to the bracelets, you need to gently but firmly tell her she has enough on her plate, and you're happy to take care of this item, take the materials, and go put them together yourself.

     

    My only other advice is to breathe, not let yourself get overwhelmed, and don't let things mentally snowball

    In regards to FMIL: All the guys are meeting at her house. Only person getting ready there is FI. She wants to be at my house because of FSIL. She has been told she can visit for a little bit but will have to leave before I get dressed.

    In regards to the dress: I am wearing my mothers gown. She's altering it so it will fit me. She WANTS to do it. Believe me, I would have loved to buy a dress but of all the dresses I tried on, I hated.

    The bracelets will be started and finished on Sunday. Thank god.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • My mom is doing the flowers for the wedding (she's a retired florist) and for just the overwhelming aspect of it all concerning logistics and wanting her to enjoy herself I keep asking her so just make my bouquet and we'll hire out for the rest.  She keeps saying no.  My mom will just go through it later (day before and a little the day off) while your mom is doing it now. They want to do these things for us so we have a great day (and within budget!) but we also don't want them to kill themselves in the process!  Bless our Moms!
    soontobemrsbuccheri
  • edited February 2014
    My mom is doing the flowers for the wedding (she's a retired florist) and for just the overwhelming aspect of it all concerning logistics and wanting her to enjoy herself I keep asking her so just make my bouquet and we'll hire out for the rest.  She keeps saying no.  My mom will just go through it later (day before and a little the day off) while your mom is doing it now. They want to do these things for us so we have a great day (and within budget!) but we also don't want them to kill themselves in the process!  Bless our Moms!
    Yea, your mom @Cokezerofreak, does have the ability to wait until the day or two before - where as my mom can't.  LOL.  Yes, she has a lot on her plate, but the majority of the work is on my dress.  Thankfully, there really isn't much that she has to do.  She took apart the bodice to make it a little bigger, removed the zipper to put a new one in and the only other thing that she has to do is sew my grandmothers initial from her 1940's robe onto the inside slip of my dress.  My mom is 1/3 of the way done the lace appliqué.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
    08/25/10
    05/07/13
    03/15/14


    image 172 Invites sent
    image 132 adults and 3 kids are party animals
    image 40 are party poopers
    image 0 awaiting reply
    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
    Cokezerofreak
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards