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Is it ok not to include flower girl and ring bearer??

smilyariessmilyaries member
Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited February 2014 in Wedding Party
We are getting married in November and we have selected our wedding party. At first, I already knew who would be our ring bearer, which is my cousin's 4 year-old son (MOH's nephew). However, we have no girl in our family who can be our flower girl. There is a family conflict going on with my cousin (ring bearer's father) and I do not know if I will have my ring bearer. Is it ok to have only ring bearer and no flower girl? Is it possible not to have a flower girl and ring bearer? If that is the case, I can have my MOH and Best Man carry our wedding rings. Thank you!!
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Re: Is it ok not to include flower girl and ring bearer??

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    It's perfectly fine to have any combination of ring bearer and flower girl, including no ring bearer and flower girl.

    I hope your family conflict works out, but if it doesn't, don't stress about the lack of flower girl and ring bearer. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We had a ring bearer and no flower girl. You can have any combination or none. It doesn't matter one bit. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    There is no requirement that you have any ring bearers and/or any flower girls at all.

    I am sorry you are caught in a family conflict and hope things work out for you, but if not, enjoy your wedding as it is.
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  • smilyariessmilyaries member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thank you ladies so much on your input! I do hope things work out at the end. If the conflict does not resolve, most likely I will not have a ring bearer. I thought that it is required but we are pretty much fine without a flower girl nor ring bearer.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    smilyaries said:
    We are getting married in November and we have selected our wedding party. At first, I already knew who would be our ring bearer, which is my cousin's 4 year-old son (MOH's nephew). However, we have no girl in our family who can be our flower girl. There is a family conflict going on with my cousin (ring bearer's father) and I do not know if I will have my ring bearer. Is it ok to have only ring bearer and no flower girl? Is it possible not to have a flower girl and ring bearer? If that is the case, I can have my MOH and Best Man carry our wedding rings. Thank you!!
    Have you asked the ring bearer yet?
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  • smilyariessmilyaries member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    @zitiqueen: I told my MOH, which is the aunt of the ring bearer and she was happy. I I haven't told his father yet until the end of this month but with this conflict, I am not sure that my cousin would say yes. If that is a case, I would not be upset.
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If you already mentioned that you want him to ring bearer I would let the offer stand...but you don't have to a have flower girl at all.  If you didn't offically ask him then you can skip it, but ifyou have asked, changing your mind will only add to the family drama.
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We decided not to invite children to the reception so we had no ring bearer or flower girl. Totally ok.
    Good luck with your family situation.
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  • MsVeronicaGMsVeronicaG member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm in a similar situation. We had kids in my mind for the ring bearer and flower girl but the ring bearer is going through a terrible twos phase and the flower girl's parents might not be able to attend due to a pregnancy. 
    My fi and I were thinking of not having any but our families keep saying that will look weird. I still think it would be okay because I've been to wedding ceremonies without a ring bearer and/or flower girl. Good luck!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    MsVeronicaG said:
    I'm in a similar situation. We had kids in my mind for the ring bearer and flower girl but the ring bearer is going through a terrible twos phase and the flower girl's parents might not be able to attend due to a pregnancy. 
    My fi and I were thinking of not having any but our families keep saying that will look weird. I still think it would be okay because I've been to wedding ceremonies without a ring bearer and/or flower girl. Good luck!
    It will be okay.  Contrary to your families' opinion, it does not "look weird" to not have flower girls or ring bearers in weddings.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    We are not having either- Both FI and I  feel like we do not know any children or their parents well enough to include those in our ceremony

    Certainly hoping the best for your family conflict!
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We have a ring bearer (maybe, his parents are not sure he'll be well-behaved enough to do it, and we're not worried if they pull him out even if it's last minute), but no flower girl. Thinking back, I've been to very few weddings that had both - almost all the weddings I've been to had only one or the other.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • alisonooalisonoo member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    My fiance and I have absolutely NO children in our family the appropriate age for flower girl or ring bearer. Just have the best man and/or MoH hang onto the rings for you. Children can be finicky so not having them is no loss, IMO. My older sister's ring bearer threw a tantrum right at the beginning of the ceremony and his mother ended up having to walk the sobbing boy down the aisle. Skip it if you like, I know I will.
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