African American Weddings

Cash Registry or Honeymoon registry

My bff wants me to registry for gifts and i have told her I did not want anything. I have owned and lived in the same house and have accumulated a lot of stuff. I just do not want anymore stuff. I really would rather get cash for the honeymoon or to help with home improvements. My best friend understood and said we need to let people know before they buy alot of things.

How would you go about asking people for this kind of registry and getting the word out without sounding tacky?

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Re: Cash Registry or Honeymoon registry

  • wallacjewallacje member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    IMO there's no way to do it without sounding tacky, but to each his own.

    Maybe if you don't register anywhere then people may get the hint, but you may still get some unwanted gifts or gift cards from people that don't feel comfortable contributing to either.

    Hope that helps.

  • mandydc0509mandydc0509 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP, people will get the hint if you don't register. Personally, I wouldn't decide to just go buy a gift if I didn't have a registry for guidance because I want people to use/enjoy my gifts, so I would just purchase a gift card.

    You mentioned home improvements - are there some things you need at lowes, home depot, or another home improvement store? You could register for a few things there, and then people may buy gift cards there after those items are gone. We're considering doing that for our new house.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yea I know if you google "cash registry" results iwll return about how inappropriate that is.. but i don't care! People need cash now a days!! But  here is a link that may help out...

    http://www.wedaholic.com/archives/the_etiquette_of_asking_for_cash_wedding_gifts.php

    HTH
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  • edited December 2011
    It is inappropriate to ask for cash, unless it is a cultural norm for you. If its a cultural practice, then your guests already know and you don't have to ask for it.  

    If you really don't need "gifts" then don't register for anything.  People will ask you what your gift preference is on an individual basis and you can share your preference for cash.  Some people will oblige and some will still buy you a toaster.  People will be more inclined to give you cash if they don't get the impression you are dictating that they give it to you.
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  • edited December 2011
    FI and I were just discussing this today.  I was sharing with him  about how a registry works and I suggested the honeymoon registry.  We have our own places now and we don't want a bunch of stuff that we already have once we move in together.  Would it be wrong to ask for both?  I don't MIND doing the traditional registry, but I thought presenting both choices wouldn't be inappropriate.  Thoughts?
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  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I have lived together for two years and we don't really need anything but we're going to do a small registry.  My FMIL told me we should do this because some people are living off credit these days and probably don't have cash.  A small registry pretty much suggests that you want cash.  I'm not sure about the honeymoon registry.  I've seen them rip people to shreds on the etiquette board for even suggesting it. 
  • msktn95msktn95 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    One of my coworkers daughter got married a few weeks ago and they did a Honeyfund... Its just like a regular registry, but it goes toward the honeymoon.  Almost all of their guest gave to the fund.  you should google Honeyfund to see how it works. 
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  • nicknuttncnicknuttnc member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the suggestions. I think we should register at home depot and lowes.
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  • edited December 2011
    I just recently received an invite to a wedding that stated on the invitation "monetary donations are preferred." Now at this point, I was no longer in "bride mode", but in "guest mode",  and I gasped in amazement as I thought how extremely tacky this was.
    Like you, the bride has a home and pretty much has everything she could want household-wise, so my natural reaction would've been to give money anyway, but to state that on the invitation really made me feel like if I were to give her something else besides money it wouldn't be appreciated.
    IMHO, guests are going to give you what they want regardless, and you have to expect that some of them won't get you anything at all. I suggest you don't register, and let guests be the judge of what they should get you.
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  • edited December 2011
    I can fully support registering at Home Depot or Lowes.  I wonder if they let you ID projects in your home that you want to complete/upgrade and people can give toward one of those.  I would be fine to give that kind of a gift.  However, as PP stated, it burns me up when people send out notes like that (on an invite or a separate card) begging for money. No matter how cute the words are it is often perceived as begging for money.  
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  • edited December 2011
    For those thinking of the honeymoon registry keep in mind that any money you get, the company takes a cut in theform of fees before giving it to you.  The honeymoon board has more info on this.  IMHO, it is better to do a really small registry somewhere and have your parents, BP, whoever, spread the word that you prefer cash, gift cards, etc.
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  • edited December 2011
    I went to the Etiquette board and read some old threads about the HM and I got a resounding "NO" about doing it because it's tacky to ask people to pay for it (because it's tacky to directly ask for money in general).  Think we'll stick to doing a registry instead!
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  • samgirlsamgirl member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i'm all for this. better to register practically and not waste your or your guests' time/money on shopping and shipping. honeymoon registries are cash registries, but i like cash registries better because they are broader and you are limited to just travel gifts. we really liked using www.depositagift.com registered for honeymoon and furniture, so it was perfect for big ticket group-gift types of items. everyone could contribute at a level that they were comfortable with. really awesome customer service too.


    http://local.weddingchannel.com/Wedding-Vendors/Deposit-A-Gift-Wedding-Reviews?ProfileId=363585
  • edited December 2011
    I quite liked the idea of a honeymoon registry.  A friend of mine used Wanderable instead of honeyfund, as the free version was ad-free and it was a lot prettier. It was also quite easy to use and they didn't take any fees. You can even put in some traditional registry items if you want. 
    Best of luck!
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