OMG!!

PhoneCardLady · February 2014

This was on a board that has NOTHING to do with wedding or etiquette but I had to post it:

Never have heard of this ever!

Friend's child is getting married in about two months. Got the invitation last week and returned the obligatory RSVP (his father and I have known each other since grammar school). This morning, in my inbox, is an email from the bride's mother (whom I've never met) thanking me for the RSVP (nice touch!) but....

This email also gives instructions on the colors and the style of dresses to be worn that are preferred by the bride!!! Huh?

First of all, other than beach/sun dresses, I don't wear dresses anymore. And can be dang sure I’m not buying an outfit in a color I don’t like or look good in! Lavender-mauve (OK – what in the h*ll color is that?!?!), beige (without having a tan?!?! Think not!) or pale blue (no way, Jose!).

Plenty of us invited guests are just shaking our heads with this directive. Very tempted to reverse the RSVPs. One thing to note it's black tie or casual. This is so inane as to make plenty of us not want to be part of this bridezilla's special day.

Some weddings are just getting to be waaaaaaay to much.

Isn't it ok to have Black Tie only if it is truly black tie on the invitation, but nothing else? And how can it be both Black Tie and Casual?

kmmssg · February 2014

What do MOG & FOG have to say about this? My first stop would be with them since they are good friends. I would have a very hard time not responding to the email in a firm manner about the rudeness.

nebullama · February 2014

FFS. There isn't enough NO in the world for this.

Black tie or casual. The only context in which that even begins to make sense is if they're hosting two completely different receptions simultaneously and guests can choose if they want to attend the formal one or the casual one.

MuppetOverlord · February 2014

If I went to the wedding, I would wear polar opposite colors and attire from the bride's preference. I would very much enjoy saying hello to her that day in something like this, add flip flops:

PhoneCardLady · February 2014

Here are a few of the answers this thread got. I'm just posting the more interesting ones:

"Several years ago we were invited to a wedding. The invitation said it was to be a black tie event. I went out and found a lovely evening gown on clearance. Hubby did eventually break down and have someone measure him for a proper suit. I even had my nails done!

We show up to the wedding. And we were wondering if we were in the right church. We were the ONLY ones in black tie attire! Everyone one else was in casual church and jeans with t-shirts!

Wear whatever you think is appropriate and you are comfortable in. I doubt the bride will stop in the middle of her walk down the aisle and demand everyone to leave. But have the video camera going just in case she does."

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"I'm still trying to come to grips with "black tie or casual"? I don't think I've ever heard of both used for dress code? Or is that along the lines of "a little bit pregnant"?"

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"My nephew's wife did specify what color the mother of the groom would wear, and asked my niece who was in the wedding to be sure to shave her legs. Why I don't know since the bridesmaids dresses were floor length. My sister went and bought an outfit of the requested color, which was more than I would have done. "

MuppetOverlord · February 2014

mbross3 · February 2014

I read it as the woman saying that she would be ok for someone to note on the invite (or in an email after) that the event was black tie or that the event was casual. I don't think she was trying to combine the two, the sentence was just written ambiguously.

I never understand why people think it's ok to tell their guests what to wear to their wedding!

eta: spelling

seshat303 · February 2014

Am I the only one who read that as it's OK to tell someone if an event is black tie or if it's casual? Not that the same event was black tie or casual?

Either way.... Jeeeez. I'd probably show up dressed to match Muppet. I honestly don't understand why what your guests wear matters at all. I think it shows good judgment on the guests' part to recognize the formality of the event and dress appropriately but there's not much the host can do about it.

nebullama · February 2014

seshat303 said:
Am I the only one who read that as it's OK to tell someone if an event is black tie or if it's casual? Not that the same event was black tie or casual?

Either way.... Jeeeez. I'd probably show up dressed to match Muppet. I honestly don't understand why what your guests wear matters at all. I think it shows good judgment on the guests' part to recognize the formality of the event and dress appropriately but there's not much the host can do about it.

In retrospect, yes that's probably what was meant. I guess I needed a little more coffee this morning.

pumpkinsandturkeys · February 2014

This is just ridiculous. It reminds me of an episode of Four Weddings (I think?) where the bride requested that everyone wear white or black because she was wearing red. People are not mannequins; you do not get to personally dress each and every one of them simply because they decided to grace your wedding with their presence in order to celebrate with you.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

DH and I got an invitation like that, for a friend's beach wedding. We were instructed to wear certain colours and shades, with khakis for the men and skirts for the women and on and on.

Had we been planning in attending (we're not; the dress code was the final straw in the etiquette cluster that is this wedding), I was planning on wearing a bright red sundress.

I just....no words.

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

JennyColada · February 2014

I'm more concerned with what you take off.

If you know what I mean.

SKB55 · February 2014

This reminds me of the wedding scene in one of the Twilight movies. Did anyone notice all the guests were in this same palette of colors? I think the bride saw this and thought she should duplicate this. She needs to hire an art director, costume designer, and what-not to pull this off. And pay for the guests' pretty new clothes.

Otherwise, no.

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

Seriously, unless I'm in the WP or the hosts are buying my outfit for me, there's no way I'd abide by any "color scheme" for a wedding. That is just far too controlling for a freaking wedding. It's not like they're going to be taking a billion pictures of their guests!

sarahufl · February 2014

There is a zero percent chance I would follow such a dress code for a wedding. I can't fathom dictating wardrobe choices for my friends and family in such a manner.

Inkdancer · February 2014

I'd wear this:

PhoneCardLady · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

I'd wear this:

I think someone must have been hit with Ronald McDonald and the Hamburgler!

wrigleyville · February 2014

Telling people to wear things like "pale blue" can end up biting you in the ass. There are fifty billion shades of "pale blue", and many of them clash. Same goes for that "lavender/mauve" crap, whatever that is.

devinsberries · February 2014

The OP inspired me. I now need to call all of my guests and tell them that they need to dress in a color from the rainbow, head to toe, and they cant sit near anyone in the same color!

OMG!!

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