Gift registry and honeymoon registry?

1singinbrunette · February 2014

My fiance and I have decided to start out fresh with our place when we get married, so we've registered for a lot of stuff already. I'm just wondering though, is it too much if we set up a honeymoon registry? Since we've already done a couple of registries, I don't want to seem like we're asking our guests to get us a gift and put something toward our honeymoon. Plus, don't most honeymoon registries collect a certain percentage of what has been given?

WildMagelet · February 2014

Honeymoon registries are considered just as bad etiquette-wise as directly asking for money. Just skip it.

FiancB · February 2014

Uh oh, you hit a hot button issue.

Years ago I thought a honeymoon registry was a great idea. A lot of people side-eye it, for pretty good reason. If for nothing but practicality, you don't want to do it because yes, they charge a percentage. If you want money (not gonna lie, I do) it's best to just keep the gift registry on the smaller side and hope that people give money. A lot of people do anyway- not everybody loves gift shopping, and it's kind of a given that newlyweds could use some extra cash more than anything.

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

Yes, most people I know (myself included) find honeymoon registries rude. We aren't going to pay for your vacation if we aren't able to pay for our own. Plus, those sites (dishonestly) keep a percentage of your guests gift as a 'processing fee'. Why give someone $95 and the company $5 when you could just write a $100 check directly to the couple? It's not easier. It's rude. Just keep your registries as they are, and you can always tell people who ask that you're saving for a honeymoon. That's perfectly appropriate.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

I also find HM registries rude. It's a roundabout way of asking for cash. They are also somewhat deceptive because people think they're buying you a swim with dolphins, but really they're just sending money. And then the company takes a cut, so they aren't even sending you the full amount they intended to give.

If you and Fi are already settled, I'm sure plenty of people will realize cash is a good gift. You will probably get cash anyway without asking for it.

grumbledore · February 2014

Honeymoon registries are a big no no. Just stick to the regular registry, If people want to give cash, they will.

chibiyui · February 2014

Don't do the honeymoon registry. They charge a percentage, it's rude, and SRSLY the charge a percentage. Fuck that noise.

dramamonkey · February 2014

I did one.

Truthfully, I wish I hadn't.

CMGragain · February 2014

Ewwww! Ick! Have the honeymoon you can afford without asking your guests to pay for it. Honeyfund is super tacky!

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

1singinbrunette said:

My fiance and I have decided to start out fresh with our place when we get married, so we've registered for a lot of stuff already. I'm just wondering though, is it too much if we set up a honeymoon registry? Since we've already done a couple of registries, I don't want to seem like we're asking our guests to get us a gift and put something toward our honeymoon. Plus, don't most honeymoon registries collect a certain percentage of what has been given?

Stick to your physical registries. As PP said, honeymoon registries are dishonest in that Great Aunt Sally thinks she is buying you a candlelight dinner on the beach for 2. What she really gave you was $93.85 after the company takes their cut and you don't even have to have the dinner on the beach! Also, if you don't get enough money from the registry to actually take a honeymoon, what will you tell your guests who gave towards it?

aurorajanette · February 2014

As others have said, stick to your regular registry and skip the honeymoon registry. It is asking people for money which is an etiquette no-no, not to mention that they do take the fees, and you don't actually get the excursions and "gifts" that people give you like snorkeling in the coral reefs. You get a check with a cut taken out of it to spend as you please. May as well just put money that you receive at your wedding related events towards your honeymoon (but plan a trip that you and FI can afford without gifts).

missnc77 · February 2014

dramamonkey said:

I did one. Truthfully, I wish I hadn't.

Just curious, why do you wish you hadn't? Did something happen?

Edit: No, I'm not doing a honeymoon registry. I'm just wondering if there's a story.

LondonLisa · February 2014

Definitely do not do a Honeymoon registry!

Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift! You do not need to set up a registry that asks for money (which is what a honeymoon registry is).

If you would prefer money, just create a small boxed gift registry and when you are asked (and only IF you are asked) say: "We are registered at John Lewis but we are also saving for a house/ big holiday/ etc" and then leave it!

One of my Mum's friends automatically cuts her gift budget for the couple in half if there is a honeymoon or gift card registry as she is so disgusted by it.

photokitty · February 2014

Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this.

Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion.

But I have good news

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts.

If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-)

A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

buddysmom80 · February 2014

Also in regards to HM registries, once the wedding is over, there is no registry for someone to buy you a gift.

Here's an example: a co worker got married and had a HM registry through her TA, when she got back from her HM another co worker (who is a higher-up) asked her where she was registered since he would like to buy her and her H a gift. She was like "well, we had a HM registry so there isn't anything you can get us, except for money" my eyes rolled so hard at that.

crunchymamaof2 · February 2014

buddysmom80 said:

Also in regards to HM registries, once the wedding is over, there is no registry for someone to buy you a gift.

Here's an example: a co worker got married and had a HM registry through her TA, when she got back from her HM another co worker (who is a higher-up) asked her where she was registered since he would like to buy her and her H a gift. She was like "well, we had a HM registry so there isn't anything you can get us, except for money" my eyes rolled so hard at that.

I can't believe she had the balls to say that.

Gift registry and honeymoon registry?

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