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Pregnant Maid of Honor

thrashertthrashert member
Second Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So my best friend just told me last night that she is pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I am more than ecstatic for the both of them and can't wait for the new addition :)  However, we live in Portland Oregon and the wedding will be in Bonners Ferry Idaho.  Since her due date is 4 days after the wedding date, her doctor says she can't go :(  I would love for her to be there but I understand where the doctor is coming from.  So my question I guess would be where do I go from here?  She's irreplaceable, but handsome and I would like even sides of witnesses.  Do I replace her?  Do I hold off on the wedding until she can be there?  Change the wedding date to sooner/later?  I don't really have any one else that I would want to be up there with me.  Also, one of the bridesmaids is getting married a week prior, and the maid of honor's wedding is the month prior.  And the month after our wedding date is hunting season, so that's kind of out of the question, at least for the groom. 
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Re: Pregnant Maid of Honor

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Don't replace her. Your sides do not need to be even. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    thrashert said:
    So my best friend just told me last night that she is pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I am more than ecstatic for the both of them and can't wait for the new addition :)  However, we live in Portland Oregon and the wedding will be in Bonners Ferry Idaho.  Since her due date is 4 days after the wedding date, her doctor says she can't go :(  I would love for her to be there but I understand where the doctor is coming from.  So my question I guess would be where do I go from here?  She's irreplaceable, but handsome and I would like even sides of witnesses.  Do I replace her?  Do I hold off on the wedding until she can be there?  Change the wedding date to sooner/later?  I don't really have any one else that I would want to be up there with me.  Also, one of the bridesmaids is getting married a week prior, and the maid of honor's wedding is the month prior.  And the month after our wedding date is hunting season, so that's kind of out of the question, at least for the groom. 
    You need to forget about this right now.  Why do you want even sides?  Is it for pictures?  If so your photographer will know how to pose everyone so things don't look "weird".

    Do not replace her.  You said that she is irreplaceable so replacing her would be ridiculous.

    As for changing your date, that is really up to you and your FI.  I understand that you want her there but I couldn't imagine changing my whole wedding around just for one person.  I doubt she would want you to do that either.

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I am very sorry that your friend may not be able to be at your wedding. However, you should treat this like any other guest who can't make it: thank your friend for wanting to be there for you, and go about business as usual. Changing dates for the convenience of one person can seriously inconvenience other people--there's never a way to make every single person happy.

    As for even sides, they really aren't necessary. And if you try to find someone to fill in for her, it may make her feel replaceable, even though you don't feel that she is. I would just list her as a bridesmaid in the program, so she's still honored, and move forward with your plans as they are.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    thrashert said:
    So my best friend just told me last night that she is pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I am more than ecstatic for the both of them and can't wait for the new addition :)  However, we live in Portland Oregon and the wedding will be in Bonners Ferry Idaho.  Since her due date is 4 days after the wedding date, her doctor says she can't go :(  I would love for her to be there but I understand where the doctor is coming from.  So my question I guess would be where do I go from here?  She's irreplaceable, but handsome and I would like even sides of witnesses.  Do I replace her?  Do I hold off on the wedding until she can be there?  Change the wedding date to sooner/later?  I don't really have any one else that I would want to be up there with me.  Also, one of the bridesmaids is getting married a week prior, and the maid of honor's wedding is the month prior.  And the month after our wedding date is hunting season, so that's kind of out of the question, at least for the groom. 
    It sounds like if you were to move it to sooner it would have to be a lot sooner.  Like at least two months.  As for later it is not uncommon for women to go a week or two past their due dates.  Then you don't know what her recovery will be like.  If she ends up having a c-section she is looking at a 4-6 week recovery, provided all goes well.  Not to mention she will then have a newborn and may not be up to being in a wedding.  

    Stick with your wedding date and don't replace or change any wedding party members.  
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides.

    As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it?

    And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    photokitty said:


    jenniferurs said:

    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides.

    As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it?

    And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?

    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)

    I also refused to get married during college football season, but hunting seems a bit different to me. There's not something pre-scheduled for every single weekend. You could skip a weekend of hunting and technically not miss anything. But then, I might just be completely naive to what goes on during hunting season. It is, after all, during football season and I judge those who'd choose to prioritize anything else :)
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    jenniferurs said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)
    I also refused to get married during college football season, but hunting seems a bit different to me. There's not something pre-scheduled for every single weekend. You could skip a weekend of hunting and technically not miss anything. But then, I might just be completely naive to what goes on during hunting season. It is, after all, during football season and I judge those who'd choose to prioritize anything else :)
    For some families, hunting season is a necessity. Missing a weekend of hunting means missing maybe a week or a month of food in the freezer for the winter, depending on what you hunt. (My uncle mostly hunts deer, so bringing down a couple of bucks can fully stock his freezer for a month.) It isn't that anything is scheduled, it's just that some people really need to be out there.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
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    photokitty said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)

    hahaha, we totally had a cut off date of mid August for our wedding to avoid college football season! We also wanted to wait until at least April to avoid ski season, so I'm totally with ya!

    If your friend is so super important you can't imagine the day without her, I would just move the wedding date up if possible. Otherwise proceed as planned

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    WHY would you like even sides? Please share your reasoning.
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  • OHBride85OHBride85 member
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    photokitty said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)
    HA! That's what my FI said @PhotoKitty! Go Bucks :)
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Inkdancer said:
    jenniferurs said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)
    I also refused to get married during college football season, but hunting seems a bit different to me. There's not something pre-scheduled for every single weekend. You could skip a weekend of hunting and technically not miss anything. But then, I might just be completely naive to what goes on during hunting season. It is, after all, during football season and I judge those who'd choose to prioritize anything else :)
    For some families, hunting season is a necessity. Missing a weekend of hunting means missing maybe a week or a month of food in the freezer for the winter, depending on what you hunt. (My uncle mostly hunts deer, so bringing down a couple of bucks can fully stock his freezer for a month.) It isn't that anything is scheduled, it's just that some people really need to be out there.
    My friend and her H also avoided TTC, so that the baby wouldn't be born during hunting season!
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Inkdancer said:
    jenniferurs said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)
    I also refused to get married during college football season, but hunting seems a bit different to me. There's not something pre-scheduled for every single weekend. You could skip a weekend of hunting and technically not miss anything. But then, I might just be completely naive to what goes on during hunting season. It is, after all, during football season and I judge those who'd choose to prioritize anything else :)
    For some families, hunting season is a necessity. Missing a weekend of hunting means missing maybe a week or a month of food in the freezer for the winter, depending on what you hunt. (My uncle mostly hunts deer, so bringing down a couple of bucks can fully stock his freezer for a month.) It isn't that anything is scheduled, it's just that some people really need to be out there.
    And some people enjoy hunting as much as others enjoy watching college football, which is perfectly acceptable. Not to mention, hunting season generally only lasts a couple of weeks so he actually has less time to spend hunting than you do to watch college football assuming he has a job and can only hunt on the weekends. Different strokes for different folks and whatnot.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Uneven sides won't be a problem. If you're pairing people up to walk in, just have the best man stand at the altar with the groom and voila! The bridesmaids and groomsmen can walk in together and your maid of honor can even still be in the program, since you shouldn't replace her.
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  • AprilH81AprilH81 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    photokitty said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)

    Our wedding date was stragically chosen to be the week between the NFL Division Championships and the Super Bowl in the off chance that the Steelers would make the Super Bowl.  LOL
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    ^ nothing quite like Steelers love! 
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    AprilH81 said:
    photokitty said:
    jenniferurs said:
    Do not replace her. There's nothing wrong with uneven sides. As far as changing your date is concerned, did you already book everything? How far away is it? And why can't your FI get married during hunting season?
    The same reason I refused to get married during college football season - priorities ;)

    Our wedding date was stragically chosen to be the week between the NFL Division Championships and the Super Bowl in the off chance that the Steelers would make the Super Bowl.  LOL
    Now that is scheduling I can totally get behind.  
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh I totally understand needing to schedule around hunting season.  My husband was trying to convince me we didn't need to see our families around Thanksgiving so he could hunt...I said the only thing you can say in that situation "sorry our families live across state lines dear." lol
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