Is it too early to give a gift?

sabrina69barnes · February 2014

Last year DH and I got a save the date for one of his cousin's wedding. We will be unable to attend. DH's family is huge so he isn't close with this cousin but we'd like to get them a gift. I found their registry from BB&B. . The wedding isn't until July but I'd like to get them something early while there are still plenty of cute things left. I'm also forgetful and afraid that if I wait I'll forget until all the cool stuff is gone. I'm not a fan of gift cards and we don't know them well enough to go off the registry. Would it be too early to get them a gift?

ei34 · February 2014

The reasons you listed are good reasons to just send a gift now instead of in July. Maybe in the card, write something like "congrats in advance!" so they know it's a wedding gift. I usually send gifts to weddings I won't be attending early.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

I don't think it's too early, no. It gives them plenty of time to write a thank-you note!

phira · February 2014

July isn't too early. The reason why most couples are encouraged to create their registries early is just for this purpose. Both Wedding Wire and TheKnot checklists suggested that we have our registry done by the end of April (but encouraged us to start in February) for our November wedding.

sabrina69barnes · February 2014

Thanks ladies. I just ordered.

kgd7357 · February 2014

We have a late June wedding and just started to get gifts over the last two weeks. It's so nice because 1) I got to start using my Soda Stream this week! and 2) The TY notes are so much easier to write when you only have 2-3 per week to do.

Glad you ordered. That couple will be excited!

antoto · February 2014

I got my first gift about 3 weeks after we got engaged. It was so fun and I knew from the start that we had our toasting glasses (what we got for the gift) all squared away!

Inkdancer · February 2014

kgd7357 said:

We have a late June wedding and just started to get gifts over the last two weeks. It's so nice because 1) I got to start using my Soda Stream this week! and 2) The TY notes are so much easier to write when you only have 2-3 per week to do.

Glad you ordered. That couple will be excited!

Just so you know, etiquette says you aren't supposed to start using your wedding gifts until after the wedding. (Unless they are gifts for the wedding, like if someone buys you toasting flutes or something.)

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

kgd7357 said:

We have a late June wedding and just started to get gifts over the last two weeks. It's so nice because 1) I got to start using my Soda Stream this week! and 2) The TY notes are so much easier to write when you only have 2-3 per week to do.

Glad you ordered. That couple will be excited!

Just so you know, etiquette says you aren't supposed to start using your wedding gifts until after the wedding. (Unless they are gifts for the wedding, like if someone buys you toasting flutes or something.)

I know etiquette says this, and we haven't received wedding gifts yet, so I have no skin in this game right now. But I do consider this rule somewhat silly when people send a gift so far in advance. I had never heard it before coming on TK. As a giver, if I sent a gift early and then likewise received a TY card early, I might ask the B&G how they like the SodaStream. I would find it odd if they said, "We are waiting to use it until the wedding."

What is the purpose of this-- so that if the wedding is called off, the couple can return all the gifts? Or just out of an understanding that the gift is for the wedding and should be saved until then?

Liatris2010 · February 2014

I know the ship has sailed, but I think it is too early. Shower and wedding gifts shouldn't be used until after the wedding, and storing dozens of boxed gifts while maybe being a first world problem, is an inconvenience.

antoto · February 2014

My FI and I just used our china last night for the first time. It's been sitting in boxes in our storage closet forever and with 3 days to go til the wedding.... I think we are okay

Would I have used it 3 months ago? Heck no.

Exception to this: The best man got us a new toaster oven for our gift and made us use it immediately. Our old one was apparently intolerable for him.... lol

sabrina69barnes · February 2014

Liatris2010 said:

I know the ship has sailed, but I think it is too early. Shower and wedding gifts shouldn't be used until after the wedding, and storing dozens of boxed gifts while maybe being a first world problem, is an inconvenience.

Hmm I didn't think of that. I was more concerned that it wouldn't be ok since we haven't gotten an invitation yet even though etiquette says we're invited since we got a save the date.

kmj500 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

Inkdancer said:

kgd7357 said:

We have a late June wedding and just started to get gifts over the last two weeks. It's so nice because 1) I got to start using my Soda Stream this week! and 2) The TY notes are so much easier to write when you only have 2-3 per week to do.

Glad you ordered. That couple will be excited!

Just so you know, etiquette says you aren't supposed to start using your wedding gifts until after the wedding. (Unless they are gifts for the wedding, like if someone buys you toasting flutes or something.)

I know etiquette says this, and we haven't received wedding gifts yet, so I have no skin in this game right now. But I do consider this rule somewhat silly when people send a gift so far in advance. I had never heard it before coming on TK. As a giver, if I sent a gift early and then likewise received a TY card early, I might ask the B&G how they like the SodaStream. I would find it odd if they said, "We are waiting to use it until the wedding."

What is the purpose of this-- so that if the wedding is called off, the couple can return all the gifts? Or just out of an understanding that the gift is for the wedding and should be saved until then?

I find this completely ridiculous as well. If I send a gift in advance I'd hope the couple would actually use the gift and not let it sit boxed in the corner for months. I have gifts sitting in a pile at my condo that I'm not opening until we move into our house later this year because we don't have room in our kitchen. I feel like an ass when people ask if I've used the item to make anything yet and I have to say, "no, they're still in the box". I'm glad all you etiquette junkies feel so secure in your relationships. I get that shit happens but yeesh.

princessleia22 · February 2014

My wedding is late June. I received a wedding gift (pots & pans set) from an aunt just after Christmas. I saw her a couple weeks ago and she was asking me how well my new pots & pans work. We still have them sitting in a box in our living room. She wasn't really happy that they are still sitting in a box when she wants us to enjoy them. We will probably use them before wedding, especially since she expects us to.

But, even if she hadn't said anything, I figure that it is okay to use the early gifts as long as you are able and prepared to buy replacements to return to the gift giver if the wedding does get called off. If I use them, I would at least offer to buy new set of pots/pans to return to my aunt or offer to repay her the value of them, if my wedding were to get canceled. I know someone who had unexpectedly cancelled wedding 2 weeks prior to date. She had received several gift cards from bridal showers and received other wedding gifts. She had already used everything and was unable to return them. There were some very unhappy people that felt really put out that they gave gifts for a wedding that didn't happen.

kgd7357 · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

kgd7357 said:

We have a late June wedding and just started to get gifts over the last two weeks. It's so nice because 1) I got to start using my Soda Stream this week! and 2) The TY notes are so much easier to write when you only have 2-3 per week to do.

Glad you ordered. That couple will be excited!
Just so you know, etiquette says you aren't supposed to start using your wedding gifts until after the wedding. (Unless they are gifts for the wedding, like if someone buys you toasting flutes or something.)

We aren't using most of the gifts, but there is no way I'm going back to Sodastreamless. If for some crazy reason the wedding is called off, I will gladly reimburse the cost of the Sodastream.

Is it too early to give a gift?

Re: Is it too early to give a gift?

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