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My wife won't do me unless she's drunk

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have been happily married for more than a decade. We saw a therapist together for a couple of years; my wife wasn’t interested in sex, and I was. We got much better at it. Then, a column of yours from a year or so ago got us even further ahead: You advised a woman to schedule a weekly sex date with her husband and hoped both of them came to look forward to it. We did that, and it’s been working well. Except my wife prefers to be drunk to do the deed. She barely drinks at all otherwise. But to get frisky she likes two or three glasses of wine because, she says, it shuts up her self-consciousness and resistance and the other things that get in the way. My drunk wife is great in bed. My sober wife doesn’t want to be touched and just wants the deed done as quickly as possible. I enjoy sex with my intoxicated wife, but I don’t love that she needs to be several sheets to the wind to get in between the sheets. She’s consistent in saying it’s not about me, it’s her own stuff. Maybe more sex therapy could help, but who has time for appointments with three young kids and jobs? And maybe it’s fine as is?

—Glass Half Full

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Re: My wife won't do me unless she's drunk

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Assault, abuse, or traumatic event was my first thought, Bmom. 
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Or she just doesn't enjoy sex with this guy and doesn't want to tell him.
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    NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Conn, I agree or extreme self esteem issues.
    image
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
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    Or sex is painful and the wine numbs things.
    �
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    Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Or raised with the idea that sex is bad.
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    specificnorthwestspecificnorthwest member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    This is a mind blowing topic. My fiance and I are italian. I feel like that answers a lot of questions in regards to our love lives. That's really tough, but it indicates some real need to see a therapist or a doctor to make sure ones body is doing what it needs to do.
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    PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
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    specificnorthwest said:
    This is a mind blowing topic. My fiance and I are italian. I feel like that answers a lot of questions in regards to our love lives. That's really tough, but it indicates some real need to see a therapist or a doctor to make sure ones body is doing what it needs to do.
    ^^^WTF?
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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    specificnorthwest said:
    This is a mind blowing topic. My fiance and I are italian. I feel like that answers a lot of questions in regards to our love lives. That's really tough, but it indicates some real need to see a therapist or a doctor to make sure ones body is doing what it needs to do.


    My husband is Italian and I seriously have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

    But maybe it's because I'm a frigid German.


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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    thejucheidea said:
    specificnorthwest said:
    This is a mind blowing topic. My fiance and I are italian. I feel like that answers a lot of questions in regards to our love lives. That's really tough, but it indicates some real need to see a therapist or a doctor to make sure ones body is doing what it needs to do.


    My husband is Italian and I seriously have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

    But maybe it's because I'm a frigid German.

    Ha.  Word.  And DH is Irish.  They use the roughest, scratchiest wool sweaters for comfort.  ;) 
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    mrs.conn23 said:
    thejucheidea said:
    specificnorthwest said:
    This is a mind blowing topic. My fiance and I are italian. I feel like that answers a lot of questions in regards to our love lives. That's really tough, but it indicates some real need to see a therapist or a doctor to make sure ones body is doing what it needs to do.


    My husband is Italian and I seriously have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

    But maybe it's because I'm a frigid German.

    Ha.  Word.  And DH is Irish.  They use the roughest, scratchiest wool sweaters for comfort.  ;) 
    Because we're drunk. We don't feel it. So why is your husband complaining at all, MrsConn? ;)
    image
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