this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Co-maids of honor etiquette questions

VegRunnerVegRunner member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm having my 2 best friends be co-maids of honor (they're both totally ok with it and are pretty drama-free people), and I'd love some insight from people who've also gone this route or have seen it done. I'm trying to be sensitive to making everyone feel appreciated and welcome, as I love all the people in my WP and would honestly rather have everyone be maid of honor! But anyway, I'm specifically wondering if anyone has good advice for:

1) How did you pick who stood where for the ceremony? (it'll be in a Presbyterian church if that makes a difference)
2) Speeches during the reception- did you recommend a time limit? Did each MOH give a speech or did they do one together?

Anything else to think about? My general approach has been trying to make sure being in the bridal party isn't a huge burden and that it's a sign of how much I love these people in my life. However, there are some logistical things to work out and I'm super grateful for any advice!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Co-maids of honor etiquette questions

  • antotoantoto member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2014
    My two sisters and I have been co MOHs for each other.  Our rule is one person stands next to the bride, the other signs the wedding certificate.

    Both are very special!

    For speeches so far we have just done a joint speech (for my sister I read  one line, other sister read next line, and then for my second sister we did one paragraph per person), but we did it that way because we are so close.  Are your MOHs super close?  Don't dictate their speech - they will figure it out :)
    image
    Report Reply
  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    First you might want to see if they even want to give a toast (NOT a speech).
    Report Reply
  • lc07lc07 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Toasts are something given in your honor so you should just let them work that part out or wait until they approach you about it. I also let my bridal party choose their order so that I was not playing favorites.
    Report Reply
  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You can also choose an arbitrary order. My friend's MOH was the shortest of all her bridesmaids, so we stood in order from tallest to shortest so the MOH would be next to her. You could order them by hair color, height, age, anything. Then let the one who doesn't hold your bouquet do a reading or sign your marriage certificate.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
    Report Reply
  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I like the arbitrary order idea.  My two sisters were my matron and maid of honor.  The older one stood next to me since she just has seniority.
    Report Reply
  • singinchick13singinchick13 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I have two MOH's as well, and I'm pretty much just giving them the freedom to do whatever they like. One of them is more friendly with the rest of WP than the other is, so she has been communicating more with them, but that is the only major difference so far. In terms of toasts, the MOH is not required to make a toast, though, she can if she would like to. I think it would be nice, but if someone is not comfortable speaking in front of a room full of people I would not want them to feel pressured. Any of our BP that would like to toast us is welcome, and I can think of one of my girls (not one of the 2 MOHs) that would be more inclined to do so. You don't have to pair your maids up with groomsmen if you don't want to, but I will probably just do as PP's have suggested where 1 MOH stands beside me and holds bouquet during the ceremony and the other will sign the certificate.
    Report Reply
  • pumpkinsandturkeyspumpkinsandturkeys member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Inkdancer said:
    You can also choose an arbitrary order. My friend's MOH was the shortest of all her bridesmaids, so we stood in order from tallest to shortest so the MOH would be next to her. You could order them by hair color, height, age, anything. Then let the one who doesn't hold your bouquet do a reading or sign your marriage certificate.
    This. You could also make it totally random and just draw a name from a hat, and that person stands beside you and holds the bouquet, and the other signs.


    image
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I had two as well.  My sister stood next to me and signed the license, but my BFF was the one who came to the borough hall to witness us applying for the license.  They worked together, without my knowledge, and did a combined toast at the reception.

    Really, everything will work itself out.  Let someone naturally fall into the spot directly next to you.  Then allow your other MOH to sign the license.  If they really want you to choose, I would tell them to either flip a coin or do rock, paper, scissors, because you can't decided.

    Report Reply
  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2014

    One of my good friends and I were Co-MOHs for our mutual best friend. If I remember correctly, the order was decided based on who was doing readings first. She wanted us both to do a reading during the ceremony so my close friend stood next to her first so that she would have easiest access to the podium during the ceremony. I was second so when my friend was done, she filed in behind me and then I was next to the bride for when it was time to do my reading. I think the DOC figured it out. Really wasn't a big deal, and I doubt they will care who stands next to you. For toasts, we did a joint toast between myself and the other MOH and the best man. Short, sweet and to the point.

    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I saw this once, and the co-MOH's each gave a toast at the reception. One one was the bride's sister and the other was the bride's best friend, so the sister stood next to the bride. 
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    My two sisters were co maids of honor. The middle one stood next to me and held my bouquet (I'm the oldest), the youngest one held H's ring. They gave a joint toast and both signed as witnesses (they were the 2 witnesses as H is an only child, so we kept the certificate to just family). Everything else was business as usual with regard to showers, b parties, picking dresses (ie, no party planning obligations, pick a dress in this fabric/color/length).

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
    Report Reply
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My two sisters were my co-MOHs (the three of us are all super-close) and there were no planning issues.  I let them decide among themselves the issues you've listed- at the ceremony, one stood next to me and the other signed the marriage certificate.  The toast they decided to coordinate on- one started it off and the other finished it (it was about 4 minutes long total). 
    My youngest sister and I did the same thing when we were co-MOHs at our middle sister's wedding- split ceremony roles and gave the toast together.
    Report Reply
  • saacjwsaacjw member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Arbitrary order vote here too. I had two MOH, the one that stood closest to me is good friends with the best man and they requested to walk down the aisle together. Both gave toasts and did a good job of short and sweet ones. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • VegRunnerVegRunner member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Thank you all for your responses - I'm definitely a fan of letting them decide things as much as possible amongst themselves, and having one hold the bouquet and the other sign the license is a good way to divvy things up. I won't dictate who stands where or does what, but if they ask me I'll  suggest that. Great ideas on sharing (or not doing) toasts as well. I feel like they'll want to do one but I'm happy to let them work out the details.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards