Chit Chat

What is included in the budget?

CMGragainCMGragain member
10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
edited February 2014 in Chit Chat
OK, it's been almost three years since daughter's wedding, and DH is still occasionally pitching a fit about the cost.
This is what I included in the budget I gave him:  dress, veil, church fees, reception venue with food and drink, flowers, invitations and postage, music, photography.

He insists that I should have included the airfare it cost us to fly from CO to Maryland, hotel costs for us, car rental for us, my suit (It was $35 on eBay, for heaven's sake!), food costs while we were in town and gasoline, plus our pet sitting costs for the cat.  I say he's full of it.  Who's right?

He seems to enjoy telling people that I went way over budget.
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Re: What is included in the budget?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2014
    I paid for my daughter's wedding because I wanted her to have better than I had.  I think most parents feel that way.  She will pay me back when she raises educated, polite and moral grandchildren!  I'm very happy for her, and so is DH.
    You are right about his being fixated.  It's tax time.  He's a retired electronic engineer who was fairly high up the ladder at the Department of Defense.  He is not easy to live with, but I knew that when I married him 37 years ago.  He is the most stubborn man alive!  Good thing he married a woman with backbone!
    Oh, BTW.  Daughter married his clone!  She worked weekends and summers as soon as she was 16 to help pay for her education, and got a free ride on scholarship the last two years.  I'm so proud of her!
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  • My FSIL is having a similar issue where her Dad knows jut enough to be dangerous, and is freaking out thinking she's spending tons of money (while they're actually saving on the venue and food, as a family friend offered them his horse ranch complete with a carriage house he uses for parties, and also offered to make food at cost). 

    Evil Chipmunk suggested she look at the "costs of weddings" website, print up the costs for her area, and show it to him, saying, this is how much stuff costs, but WE ARE NOT SPENDING THIS MUCH SO CALM DOWN.
  • Totally different budgets...  My sister did a destination wedding in Florida (95% of the guests lived in Ohio at the time).  She treated the travel expenses as a vacation since the immediate family chose to stay in Florida the week after the honeymoon.  The wedding was something completely different.
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  • Three years ago? Seriously? While I think you're right, it's a moot point and he needs to get over it.
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  • Wow, he needs to get over this. That water is so far under the bridge now that it isn't even worth discussing. Honestly- what does he expect you to do? Build a time machine, go back and change how things were? Then he'd complain about the cost of the time machine! You  need to tell him that it is in the past and it's time to get over it.

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  • You're right. But it's been three years. Why is he still bringing this up? I think it's time to move on. 
  • While I agree that the cost of hosting a wedding is separate from the cost of attending the wedding, if you are doing both, the budgets do go together.  I would say that you did not go over budget, but (three years ago!) you probably should have presented the cost-of-attendance budget at the same time.  However, the cost of attendance budget seems no different from the cost to go visit your family for any other occasion.  Perhaps he just enjoys getting a rise out of you.  
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  • Totally unrelated but how's your grandson?
     
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  • Grandson is perfect, thanks!  I just ordered him a new toy on amazon.com and had it shipped to their house.  He's 9 months old, crawling around their house, and driving his Mom crazy!  (Ha,ha!  Payback!)   They are coming to visit us in October.  I'm paying!  DH will probably fuss about that, too, but he wants to see him.
    DH still occasionally complains that I had a few hundred dollars in debt when we were married.  That was 37 years ago!  He is obsessive, but I knew that when I married him.  He sqeazes pennies for blood, even though we have plenty of money. He obsesses over the cost of gasoline when we fill the tank, turns off lights around the house, keeps the temperature low in winter (I've gotten used to it.), always uses coupons for restaurants and senior citizen deals.  Then when we have a vacation, we go on luxury cruises.  I'll never understand it, but I like having the security of money in the bank and no debts.  Odd thing is, his parents were wealthy, and mine were poor.  I think it's a engineering thing.




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  • Add me to the list wondering why your DH is still complaining about the cost of your daughters wedding which occurred three years ago. He needs to move on.

  • I think what really makes me angry is that I was so proud of being able to pay for a nice wedding in the Washington DC area for $11,000.  That took some careful planning and shopping!  He's never acknowledged that I kept our costs low.
    Well, he's not going to change.  If anything, men get more rigid as time passes.  Lucky for him, he's good in bed.  :-)























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  • I think what really makes me angry is that I was so proud of being able to pay for a nice wedding in the Washington DC area for $11,000.  That took some careful planning and shopping!  He's never acknowledged that I kept our costs low.
    Well, he's not going to change.  If anything, men get more rigid as time passes.  Lucky for him, he's good in bed.  :-)
    That is impressive. DC is freaking expensive! I plan meetings and conferences down there for work and it is really hard to find nice locations plus food with the limited funds that we are given.

  • agree that the wedding budget would be the hosted portion, not attendance portion.  I was lucky enough that my parents hosted/paid for my wedding and I know the budget my dad gave me had nothing to do with his suit, the hotel, gas, etc.  It was an extra cost to them, but it did not effect my budget. 

    H&I paid for our rings, license, gifts, our hotel, DYI decor we wanted (card box, escort cards, cake topper, etc), his suit (technically his was free but we paid the "over budget" portion for the guys); my shoes, etc.
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  • Kudos to you for managing to keep the wedding costs low. That is impressive for that area. Also its amazing that you would offer to cover those costs.
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